Only Time
by the sacred night
Summary: Life is about choices... hard choices. Sometimes you're wrong and sometimes you're right, but you have to keep living no matter what. Modern day AU. Numerous pairings, mostly canon.
1. Prologue

Only Time

Prologue

Himura Shinta walked alone. It was after school, so most of the kids his age were either at home doing homework or off at an arcade, a mall, a park, or some other fun place. He was nowhere. It was just a lonely, abandoned road, out of the way. No one ever went this way, and Shinta liked to explore ways no one ever went. He wasn't pretending to be Indiana Jones or suppressing excited giggles as he whispered to his comrades, but simply walking quietly alone on a dirt road through districts even the kids found boring. He walked, silently taking pleasure in his exploration, feeling the sad aura of the place. It would drive away most eight years olds, but Shinta had an odd fascination with melancholy places like this. There was a run down shack here or there, a building that maybe once held a thriving business, but no one still lived or did business there, it appeared.

There was an old movie theater, the box office empty and dusted with cobwebs. A sign said "Closed for Repairs," but Shinta guessed those repairs had never been done. Most of the places, if they had signs at all, had dismal ones like that, stating they were out of business or had moved on to more prosperous areas of town. Shinta kept walking, as he always did, and saw something that surprised him. An old dojo, perhaps in need of a repair or two, but at least clean, stood out as better kept than any building around. It must have shut down more recently than the rest. The sign still said "Open."

Shinta pushed the door open, seeing that this place _was_ well-kept up, and though old, was in great condition. An entrepreneur might open up shop here tomorrow, if he or she didn't mind being surrounded by decay. That was what this street was doing- decaying, although this one building seemed to hold out against it quite well. Shinta explored, expecting as always to find the place empty, but thinking perhaps there were a few possessions left behind that would be of interest, would tell a story about the last humans to inhabit the place.

Shinta heard a muffled rustle of cloth and almost turned to go, but pressed on; it was probably only a rat anyway. He turned a corner into the room where he'd heard the noise, ready to leave if the place was indeed rat-infested, but found the source of the sound was not vermin, but a man. It was, as a matter of fact, a _huge_ man. He must have been the biggest man Shinta had ever seen, including ones on TV. No one was that tall, and no one that wide unless they were extremely fat, but Shinta could tell this man and fat had very little to do with one another. He was all muscle. His pinky finger could probably beat Shinta up. His pinky finger could probably beat Shinta's _dad_ up. Shinta froze on the spot, afraid to let the man know he had trespassed.

"Don't act so scared- the sign said 'Open.'" The man said in a deep, resounding voice without turning to look at Shinta. Shinta gathered his courage then, having been quasi-invited to approach. As he got over his fear and shock, he saw that the man was cleaning a traditional Japanese sword. It was nothing like the imitations made in modern times- it must have been ancient. An eight year old mind like Shinta's would not have been the least bit surprised to find the sword was magic, although in reality it was no such thing. It was simply a well-crafted weapon. Shinta thought of asking the man if he were the master of this dojo, but that struck him as a stupid question. Besides, if there was a person greater than the man before him, Shinta wasn't sure he wanted to meet that person. He stood silently and watched the man clean his sword, and when the man finished, he spoke.

"I am Seijurou Hiko the thirteenth, master of this place. Who are you?"

"I-I am Himura Shinta, sir."

"_Shinta_? What a wimpy name. Do you have a middle name?"

"Kenshin, sir,"

"That's better. Kenshin, do you want to become my student here?"

Shinta… or he guessed Kenshin, now… was shocked at so direct an offer. He would love to learn martial arts, but he'd have to ask his parents, and they'd have to see if they could afford it…

"I'm not sure my family could afford it, Sir," he replied, not wanting to refuse and make it look like he wasn't interested.

"There's no charge. Just come here tomorrow after school and your training will begin."

That was the first day of the rest of Kenshin's life.

Author's Notes

A veryshort prologue, I know, but promising, I think. I've done more planning on this than on any fic I've ever written, and I'm glad to get into writing it.

This story is going to encompass damn near Kenshin's whole life. You just saw him meet Hiko as a child of eight, and you will next see him as a teenager. He will progress through school into adulthood and on from there to the thirtyish Kenshin we know best. You'll see him turn forty and some beyond even that.

While I appreciate reviews no matter what they say, I prefer that you discuss the story with me. If you say it was good, tell me why it was good. If it was bad, what was bad about it? Did a particular word or phrase interest you? Did you find anything funny? Did the story remind you of anything? Want me to fix a grammar error? Is something confusing? Is there something you'd like to see me do, like make a particular character's feelings more clear, explain an event in more detail, or give info about a character's past? These are what I most like to hear, but I appreciate anything you want to tell me regarding the story.

And yes, the title is alluding to the Enya song.


	2. Chapter 1: Daily Life

Review Response

Woohoo, I got a review! I'm glad the prologue grabbed your attention with its sad aura... i get that sort of feeling a lot with certain songs or certain images, but have never been able to put it into words before. I hope I gave you an accurate glimpse of my writing style. I thought Hiko would have his dojo in the middle of nowhere because he doesn't want just anybody turning up at his door... he's a loner and it'd take someone special to find him there.

Only Time

Chapter 1: Daily Life

A man and a boy faced each other, each gaze intense, the air practically crackling with their energy. Each on his own would be a striking picture- a lean, fair-skinned boy with what almost passed for liquid fire flowing down from his archaic topknot, a tanned, muscular giant with a strangely picturesque face and long, soft black hair- but together they made the space around them volatile. Their energy would have floored any observer who chanced to walk in, though that was unlikely since the sign outside the dojo now read "Closed." Many of their movements, impressive though they truly were, would not impress most observers, since most observers are unimpressed by things they cannot perceive.

One really only saw two competitors, swords safely sheathed for the moment, but ready to draw. The two then disappeared, moving so fast as to be invisible to the unaided eye,followed by brief pauses in which one saw poised figures breathing heavily, each awaiting his opponent's next move. Then they would disappear again until they paused once more. Every few minutes, one might hear a shout from the air telling the young protégé to keep his back straight or grip his sword differently, and it was usually followed by a simple answer of, "Yes, Shishou."

This was not one of those times. Perhaps the young Kenshin was more stressed out by his upcoming chemistry test than usual, or perhaps Hiko had been unusually hard on him that day. For whatever reason, instead of the normal "Yes, Shishou," today the apprentice hissed "Kuso!" and lashed out blindly with the sword still gripped slightly incorrectly. Of course, he only succeeded in getting the point stuck in the wall, but it was apparent that the exercise was not having its usual calming effect. It was difficult to be calm about anything with a perfectionist barking commands at him every three minutes, but this particular day it seemed to Kenshin as if he would never get that move right.

"Baka deshi," the master muttered under his breath as one hand reached up to brush the hair from his face in exasperation.

"Stop calling me that! If I'm so stupid, why'd you want to train me in the first place?"

Hiko knew that his pupil was indeed very bright, and of course that comment had been undeserved, but an apology would only make the boy lose respect for him, so he thought. He also believed that harshness was the best way to show his concern for his student and help him become a better martial artist. After all, it had worked for his master and his master before him.

"If you'd stop doing stupid things, I could stop calling you that. Now what were you doing wrong?"

"My hands were too close together on the hilt and the strike was too weak."

Actually, the strike had been perfect, but damn if Hiko was going to reward his deshi's display by telling him that. "Correct. You may go now."

His first session or two, going home had been a sad letdown after the exhilaration of practice, even though at the time he hadn't used a weapon. After those first couple of days, when Hiko was sure Kenshin wouldn't give up just because he was criticized, the real training began. The training itself was intoxicating, but the constant insults were another matter. He could take reminders that he was doing things wrong just fine, but when they were coupled with phrases like "Baka deshi," they ceased to be simply reminders. It was like a punishment for being inexperienced. It had upset him the first time he left angry with his teacher, but now it was pretty much a daily occurrence. Why did Hiko seem to dislike him so much when he was clearly trying as hard as he could?

Kenshin dejectedly left the dojo, exchanging his sword for school books. He walked home still in his training clothes, not wanting to get his regular clothes all sweaty. When he got home he would take a shower before putting them on. The walk was short, but nice even hot though the day was. By the time he got home, he had recovered from his almost-fight with Hiko and was even sweatier than he had been upon exiting the dojo. His sister pinched her nose as he walked by, commenting, "I hope you're headed for the shower." He merely rolled his eyes and kept walking; of _course_ that was where he was headed. Did she think he liked being smelly and sweaty?

His two brothers chased each other through the house, stopping to punch him on the arm as they ran by him. Their blows were nothing in comparison to Hiko's, and wouldn't have fazed him had they not landed right on top of a fresh bruise brought on by the very same. He winced and continued walking. "Mom, I'm home!" He shouted up the stairs as he walked by them. His mother was probably preparing to go to work, now that he and Akane were home and could watch the twins. Akane was only twelve, but could handle the twins on her own, really. His mother didn't feel right leaving them with only Akane, though, so she had scheduled her work for after Kenshin came home and could be there in case of a real emergency.

He and Akane just did their homework while Naga and Sei played video games. They were six years old, so they didn't have homework to speak of. Finals were soon, and chemistry was Kenshin's hardest subject. He had done every scrap of homework all year, but still felt he didn't understand some things. Not that he was going to be a scientist or anything, but he still needed good grades. His parents would kill him if he didn't do well on the final. He had had to learn to study with distractions, with twin six-year-olds in his care every day, and hopefully all that studying would pay off.

Kenshin's mother rushed down the stairs, shouting a quick goodbye to her children and out the door. She had cleaned, cooked, and done house things all the time the children were at school- as far as Kenshin could tell, she had done a full day's work already. The white carpet was spotless and dinner was already in the oven, timed to be ready at six o'clock. His father would get home in a couple of hours and read the paper while he sipped coffee. Why did his mother have to do so much other work when she was home while his father got to stop once he punched his card for the day at work? Children didn't ask about these things, but Kenshin wondered if his mother would be offended if he asked her.

He still wasn't finished with his homework when his father arrived. He took a break from it to eat dinner with everyone else, since no one was allowed to skip out on family dinner unless there was a pressing reason like work or a school-related meeting. It was a little overcooked, a product of his parents' schedules, but such was life when money was tight. Everyone halfheartedly talked about his or her day, but Kenshin never felt comfortable sharing anything really important to him during this time. He might tell his siblings about his arguments with Hiko or his fear of failing the Chemistry final, but his father was not the person to go to with such sentiments. He would only say "Stop whining and work harder."

"Stop whining and work harder," his father said at just that moment to Sei, who could not muster the fortitude to finish his vegetables.

"I'm full, too," Naga proclaimed.

"I think Okaasan fixed more than usual, Otousan," Akane rationalized. It was a logical argument, the kind their father might appreciate if it didn't contradict him.

"Then we will eat more than usual. We do not waste food in this house. Food costs money, and we cannot afford to waste money."

"Their stomachs are only so large. They'll get sick if they eat too much and it will _all_ be wasted when they throw up." Perhaps it was because his argument spoke in terms of waste and money, or perhaps it carried more weight coming from his eldest, but Kenshin's father ceased his protests and allowed the twins to refrigerate their leftovers.

When dinner was over, Naga, Sei, and Akane each went to their own pursuits of fun, but Kenshin went up to the solitude of the room he shared with the twins. Akane was the only person in the house with her own room, being the only girl. The parents obviously shared a room, and all three boys shared one, since a larger house was not an option on their family's income. The twins had bunk beds and Kenshin had what modern people called a futon- not a sleeping bag on the floor like a traditional futon, but what was basically a bed that would fold in two to make a couch. He flopped down on it to try and get through the sea of homework questions that stretched out before him in his chemistry book.

He would probably not need chemistry where he was going anyway. No one else knew it yet, but he was going to join the military when he was old enough. When he left high school, the military was his next stop. Perhaps his parents could say they'd wasted their money sending him to high school if he wasn't going to be a doctor or lawyer, but how could he help it? He hadn't known when he entered high school that this was what he would want to do. He did well enough on tests and in class that he could be a doctor if he chose, and he guessed it did look appealing, but by fighting for his country he could help people end their suffering… he could free people enslaved, he could be part of that force that protected the innocent within the borders… he could put his life on the line for others.

A dreamy smile found its way onto his face, thinking about all the people that would be grateful to him, that would lead happy, normal lives because of him. He would keep violence away from them by putting himself in the midst of it. He would protect and serve, like a police officer, only on a larger scale. He would make the world better. That was the point of living, wasn't it? Why did people bother to get up in the morning if not to change things for the better? Some people certainly had other motives, but hell if he could understand them. He couldn't fathom dying without having accomplished anything… or worse, making things even harder for everyone else, rather than easier. He had a good enough life, but some people, he knew, had it a lot worse.

For the moment, however, the only steps he could take in that direction were training with Hiko and doing his homework. He sighed and turned back to the books, the numbers and mile-long words. As much grief as it gave him, he did have to admit he sort of liked chemistry. He settled in and got comfortable for the longest study session he could have before the twins would come in ready for bed. He would then go to the living room and might even be awake when his mother got home. He usually got to sleep at a decent hour, but occasionally he had to burn the midnight oil to understand things at the last possible moment before a big test.

This time, though, his thoughts of defending the helpless still dancing around his mind, he was motivated to finish early. The numbers aligned themselves, falling into perfect order so he could dispatch them easily. He turned in early that night, putting away his work to sleep peacefully and pleasantly, dreaming of his future life as the wall between innocent civilians and harm toward which he was slowly climbing. He had to get rest for his training the next day, and smiled in his sleep as he thought of all his bright possibilities.


	3. Chapter 2: Conscience

so... apparently has this rule that authors aren't supposed to reply to revews individually. i just replied to the comments according to what they were about. if you commented on hiko and on kenshin's decision to join the military, for example, the reply to your comment on hiko will be with the others on hiko and your comment on the military will be with the others on the military. don't be hurt that i don't mention your names... i'm not allowed.

Review Replies

glad you liked the interaction with Hiko, he's important in the next couple chapters. he might get a bit ooc, but i'm trying to avoid that. as for the insults, it's true that Hiko cares a lot for Kenshin but really doesn't know how to express it. it's sad, really- Kenshin tries his whole life to gain Hiko's approval without realizing he has always had it.

his good intentions with the military are going to suffer disappointment... to the person who mentioned Vietnam, perhaps I haven't made it clear yet that this is occurring in Japan, and I don't know if they were even involved in that war or if they treated their soldiers the same way they did in America. Either way, he's in it for the cause itself, mainly, not for the glory. you are right that history didn't sink in, though, but Hiko will explain all this when he finds out Kenshin's plans.

it's a little weird for me to write about Kenshin in a normal family, too. it's actually kinda scary how nomal they are... he's the overachieving oldest, the twins are typical little kids, the father is the sadly common 'unemotional' father, and the mother is the also sadly common 'overworked' mother. maybe i coulda been more creative on the family...

thank you to the person who said they don't usually like AUs but likes this one... i find a lot of modern day AUs are cheesy high school gossip fests, or even on occasion the author has a good idea but has no idea how to write it... if you're interested in good AUs, try "Romancing the King" by Chibi Yuushi. It's not complete and hasn't been updated in awhile, but there's quite a bit up there already and it's quite good. it's not a modern AU, it's set in sort of a medieval europe place, with castles and kinghts. she does a good job with the often misrepresented battousai.

glad the beginning hooked you... i was afraid the somber attitude would turn people off. i hadn't thought of it as similar to their real meeting, but i guess the 'decay' thing makes sense because there _were_ bodies all around them when they met...

yes, i want to writeabout kenshin's whole life... i really got inspired to write this because i came up with stuff that happens when he's an adult, but then i got that great scene with them meeting, and had to incorporate his training with Hiko and their struggle over Kenshin's joining the military. the military is very important later.

Only Time

Chapter 2: Conscience

Kenshin arose groggily the morning of the chemistry final with a weight in the pit of his stomach. He chose not to think about why that weight was there- a fact he knew perfectly well. His plans were severe, an act of desperation he hated himself for taking. Still, he had no choice. He pulled himself out of those dark thoughts and began to dress. His school uniform was a simple white shirt, navy blue dress pants, black shoes, and a blue blazer with the school's insignia embroidered in red and gold on the left chest region. Since he had long hair, he was required to keep it up during school. Perhaps this was supposed to be a deterrent to boys having long hair, but it was no problem for him, since he wore a topknot every day in training with Hiko. Now he just had to wear it all day.

Besides, he had learned quickly that not only do the chicks dig a man with long hair, they love a man who can show his feminine side, and although his hairdo had been very manly to samurai, in these modern times it was rather girly. This had bothered him a little at first, but being the only boy at school with a long, silky topknot had its advantages. When one considered he was also the only boy, and the only person, for that matter, at school with red hair, it didn't take long to realize girls threw themselves at him left and right.

He was seventeen; he had hormones like any other normal teenager. He had dated a few of the girls at school, but soon realized that once they had what they wanted- a little private time with him and the ability to claim girlfriend status when they told their friends about it- they tired of him and moved on. A lesser male might not have minded that, since a lesser male might tire of the women equally quickly and want to move on himself. Kenshin was not a lesser male. Hiko kept him humble and grounded, making sure he knew that good looks didn't mean much in the grand scheme of things. Martial arts were about more than knowing how to use a variety of weapons with deadly accuracy. It was about one's heart as well, and Kenshin's maturity in that area led him to long for more than a tumble in the sack with the women he dated. He wanted to get to know them, and maybe love them, and while some of them were interested in that, they weren't interested in it with him, so he hadn't gone out with any in awhile.

Still, being what amounted to a status symbol among the females at school made him practically a god to the males. They might have asked him for his secret, but it was obvious. They had started a fad. Several of the boys had grown their hair out as well, and while they would never enjoy the same amount of attention Kenshin received, it worked well for them, as far as it went. They were grateful and offered what often passed for friendship in the high school arena. It was really little more than a tangle of alliances that could easily be broken the second something better came along. So went the life of the popular. His only real friends were his family and Sano. Sano hadn't come to high school, but still lived down the street from Kenshin. They still talked whenever Sano wasn't working and Kenshin wasn't studying.

Kenshin walked toward Sano's house in the morning. He would pass it on the way to the subway that would take him to school, and as he passed, he would wave to Sano, who would wave as he exited his house for work. That would be the extent of their contact for the day, in all likelihood. They might meet later in the evening, but they might not. Kenshin would not have to study for finals anymore, but Sano would probably still be at work when he walked home from the dojo. He passed on, sad that their relationship had become so much more difficult when their lives took different paths. Still, he had business to attend to that day. There were finals to consider, and he needed to get to school a little early to take care of last-minute details.

He had found that despite his long hours of studying, he still didn't fully comprehend everything. At this point, there was no real chance he would before the test. As he entered the school building, the weight reappeared in his stomach. He felt his aura droop, but he pushed his thoughts aside and nervously looked for one of his fellow long haired boys that was going to help him. He spotted the boy just as he pushed out of the crowd.

"I've been looking all over for you! Thought you were gonna be too late."

"Yeah, sorry about that. So, uh…"

"Yeah, I got it. You hold up your end of the deal?"

"Yeah, I got it right here," Kenshin fumbled around his pockets, feeling the weight in his stomach grow heavier by the second, and finally pulled out a wad of yen.

"That's what I'm talking about," the boy replied, and accepted the money while looking furtively around for witnesses. He then equally secretively handed Kenshin an unmarked envelope and went on his way.

Kenshin tucked the envelope away inside his blazer until he reached the security of a stall in the boys' bathroom. He was nearly sick with the weight of what he was doing, but could he stop now? He had already paid for it, after all. He opened the envelope carefully, as if there were a bomb inside. What was really inside was a neatly typed answer key to the chemistry final he was about to take. He folded it back up and tucked the envelope back in his jacket, keeping it safe for when he would need it. His mood significantly worse, he left the bathroom and walked to his first class.

He couldn't focus on his literature final for thinking so hard about the envelope in his jacket. Would he get caught with it? What if it fell out of his blazer and someone saw it? Of course, it wasn't marked, so they might not think anything of it, but what if a teacher thought he was attempting to pass someone a note and made him read it out loud? What if another student thought he was passing a note and took it, thinking it was for him or her? So many things could go wrong; he could lose it in the push of the hallway crowd and never find it; he could spill something on it at lunch and not be able to read it at test time. That little slip of paper small enough to stay unnoticed in his jacket was taking up too many of his thoughts.

The more he thought about it, the more Kenshin began to wonder if it was worth all the trouble he had given it. He really didn't need help on the final that badly; he had studied day and night since he found out when the final would be. He was a good chemistry student. Even if he didn't do so well on the final, he might still eek out an A in the class. Maybe he would only use the key if he was really lost on a particular question. Maybe he wouldn't even need it. Then he wouldn't have to worry about being caught using it, or facing his parents when they rejoiced over a good grade he didn't earn. He could do this. He would be just fine, or so he hoped.

By the time Kenshin walked into chemistry class, though, he had decided he wouldn't use the answers he had purchased no matter what. Even if he had to fail and be humiliated before his teacher and family, it wasn't worse than knowing he had passed by cheating. There would be the inevitable risk of getting caught and expelled, but worse would be the look on his parents' faces when they found out, and worse still the fact that he'd go through life never knowing if he could have done it on his own or not. If something happened to deter him from the military and he did somehow end up in a science-based career, he would never know if he deserved to be there or not.

He sat down to his test with a weight off his shoulders, though still carrying a little nervousness he wouldn't be rid of until he destroyed the answers. With a clear mind, he began filling in the little bubbles indicating his answer choices. He found he actually knew more than he'd thought, and was doing pretty well. He calmed down a lot, then, knowing there would be little temptation to take a peek at the document in his blazer. He got so comfortable, in fact, that he didn't even think about the envelope and gave up trying to hide it. He finished the test early, as he did most tests, and leaned back comfortably in his seat. Then, the unthinkable occurred.

The little, white envelope slid to the ground, horrifying Kenshin, who had forgotten it was even there. He knew how to hide the shock he felt, though and prayed that no one would notice. The student next to him, however, smiled at him and tried to bring it closer to her chair with her foot. She thought he was passing her a note! It was better than the truth, but if the teacher noticed, it wouldn't matter. His secret would be out in the open before you could say "expulsion."

The girl was quite discreet about her "note," but it was still rather far from her desk when Kamagata-sama looked up. The girl jerked her foot away from the envelope, trying to free herself of guilt before Kamagata-sama saw, but the movement caught her eye. The suspicious teacher walked over to the spot between Kenshin's and the girl's desks, standing right in front of the offending paper product. She bent down and picked it up, beginning to smile.

"Passing Honjou-san a note, Himura-san? I though such junior high antics were beneath you. Perhaps the rest of the class would enjoy hearing its contents?" Like a cat, she toyed with her prey, to the delight of every other student. "Not to worry, I'll give you more time to finish your tests tomorrow, class. For now, let's hear Himura-san's pretty words of love to Honjou-san." She opened the envelope, smiling evilly and poised to read, but gasped when she saw the contents. "See me after class, young man!" A rustle of whispers went around as everybody speculated about what was so shocking Kamagata-sama wouldn't even read it aloud, to which she barked, "Continue your tests, everyone!"

Kenshin stewed in his own guilt the rest of the period. Mostly he pondered what he would say when Kamagata-sama inevitably asked him where he'd gotten the answers. He could lie and say he'd stolen them from her himself, as a real friend would do for him. Indeed, he had not bought the answers from a real friend, however, merely an ally in high school beurocracy. That same boy would have stabbed him in the back without a thought, but Kenshin had more honor than that. He wouldn't sell another out to save his own hide, but what of the other side of honor? Had it been honorable for the boy to sell him the answers? Certainly the supplier deserved to be punished along with him, but should he really be the one to hand him in?

Yes, his supplier had done as bad a thing as he had, but perhaps it was not Kenshin's business to turn him in. He could be encouraged to confess, but Kenshin didn't have a moral leg to stand on when it came to telling. If he hadn't been caught, would his conscience have forced him to do the honorable thing and tell on the seller of test answers, not to mention confess to buying them? The answer was no. If he told now, it would only be to throw some blame off of himself, not for nobler, higher reasons. Perhaps a better man or woman could justify telling under these circumstances, but Kenshin would not do it for the wrong reasons.

He sank down in his desk and waited for the period to be over, feeling eyes on him at all times. Honjou-san glared daggers at him the whole time. His embarrassment rolled over him in waves, leaving him dreading the rest of the day. The last thing he needed was to start cultivating a "bad boy" reputation… and any other reputation he'd had was certainly ruined after this incident. He tried to stay after class inconspicuously and just wait for everyone to leave before he talked to the teacher, but when the bell rang, the first thing Honjou-san did was march straight over to his desk.

"Haul yourself to your feet, Himura," she commanded, and he didn't miss that she left out the polite "-san." He stood up reluctantly, ready to bear whatever punishment she felt he needed to stand up for. "What kind of girl do you think I am?" She half-shouted and drew back for a painful slap to the cheek. She turned and walked away on that note, leaving him alone and friendless to face the wrath of Kamagata-sama.


	4. Chapter 3: Silver Lining

Review Replies

it is indeed the beginning of the angsty kenshin we know and love... always determined to do the right thing, never sure what the right thing is.

the comment about Hiko keping him grounded... that wasn't really meant to be funny, though i guess if you thought of it as 'grounded' like where you're not allowed to have friends over or watch TV, maybe it's funny... i meant grounded in the sense that he's realistic and doesn't fool himself that his good looks will get him everywhere in life.

Only Time

Chapter 3: Silver Lining

Kenshin felt the weight of his day bearing down hard on him the whole way to the dojo. He just wanted it to be over. On second thought, maybe he didn't want that, since it meant tomorrow and school were soon at hand again. He only wanted the year to be over, so maybe people would have forgotten what happened by the time he saw them again. He couldn't expect the people who saw not to have told everyone they knew when he walked into class again, but maybe Kamagata-sama would tell everyone the truth. She did take every opportunity to see her students squirm, but always for things they had actually done, so maybe she would explain. He didn't hope for much, though.

He thrust the door open uncaringly and dropped his things, ready to do what he had to do and then go home and mope. Hiko heard his backpack dropping to the floor and came out, also ready, and waited for Kenshin to change out of his school clothes in a small side room. Kenshin came out and glumly picked up one of the staves Hiko had chosen for that day's lesson. The lesson did not even have a chance to begin before it was halted.

"What happened?" Hiko asked simply. He had known Kenshin long enough to be able to tell when something was wrong.

"I got caught cheating on my chemistry final… sort of… I didn't really cheat, but I bought the answers off this guy, and…"

"That sounds like really cheating to me."

"Yeah, but I didn't use them. I was going to, but then I knew it was wrong and I just left them in my pocket and did the test on my own. The answers fell out of my jacket and Kamagata-sama thought it was a love note, so she was about to read it aloud and when she saw what it was, she gasped and told me to see her after class, so everybody thought it was, like, a note with something really dirty in it, and the girl who thought it was for her slapped me and asked if that's the kind of girl I thought she was. Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of womanizer and I'm going to get a zero on the final and my parents are going to kill me!"

Hiko whistled, clearly impressed by the magnitude of his calamity. "Serious," he replied, seemingly at a loss for more words.

"Kamagata-sama will never believe me if I tell her the truth."

"You're right, she probably wouldn't, but why don't you tell her just to grade your test? Surely you didn't get every question right."

"If she didn't already throw it away, that is,"

"I think you need to go talk to your mother before she goes to work. We'll go twice as long Saturday to make up for it."

"Really?" This was the greatest thing to happen all day. Not only did he get to go home early, but he might actually have a chance at preserving his relationship with his mother. Most surprisingly, Hiko cared. "Thanks, Shishou! I'll let you know how it goes!" He bowed hastily and left without even changing back into his school clothes.

His mother was on the phone when he got back, telling whomever was on the other end, probably Kamagata-sama, that there must be some mistake. She looked apprehensive at seeing him, though, as if his early appearance meant something was wrong, which it did. She put her hand over the mouthpiece while she spoke to him.

"Kamagata-san says she caught you cheating on your test today. Please explain this."

"Okaasan, sit down." His mother sat, with a pained look that said she knew he was about to say Kamagata-sama was telling the truth. "I bought the answers from another boy at school, but you must believe me when I say I did not use them on the test."

"Ohh…" she looked about to cry.

"Tell her to grade the test! She will see my answers are not all right!" He pleaded with his mother. She nodded and relayed his request to his teacher. Not many more words passed between them before his mother hung up the phone.

"She already threw it away." He sighed the greatest sigh he had ever sighed. Perhaps this situation couldn't be salvaged after all. "She says you can go to class tomorrow, but next year you will not be returning to school." He had never watched his mother break down and cry before.

* * *

When he arrived in chemistry class the next day, he felt a little better than when he had last left it, but still expected to have holes stared in him by classmates who believed their own versions of the truth. The first surprise was Honjou-san approaching him not looking angry, but sheepish. He wondered how much she knew, and how she knew it.

"I'm sorry I smacked you yesterday… it's just… I thought that was a note for me, and when Kamagata-sama acted so shocked, I thought…"

"I understand. I'd never say anything… like _that_… to you." There was a pause in which Kenshin wondered why Honjou-san was still there when she spoke again.

"So I guess this means you're not interested in me?" Of all the questions in the world… that was definitely the last thing he expected to hear this morning.

"Well, I hadn't really… thought about it…"

"'Cause I noticed you haven't dated any girls in awhile… or not that I've heard about… and I wouldn't be like the rest of them, you know… I'm completely different from all of the girls here." She looked up into his face hopefully.

He smiled, wondering if maybe there was hope. He offered her his arm, and she slipped her hand around it with a grin to light up a room. As he walked her into the classroom, he had one final question for her. "How did you find out what happened?" All eyes were on the two of them as they stopped just before the short girl's desk. "Kogoro-san set me straight," she answered, nodding toward the very same Kogoro-san who'd sold him the answers.

"Thank you," he began, but felt compelled to continue. "I didn't use your answers, though, Kogoro-san."

"I was really surprised when you asked for them, actually… I never pictured a smart guy like you cheating. I confessed to Kamagata-sama; I didn't want to see you get punished alone. Didn't want you to have Honjou-san hate you, and her to think… whatever she thought. She deserved to know."

This was one of the biggest shocks of all: one of his so-called friends actually cared about his well-being. He was speechless. After a moment he found his voice, as much as he wished he didn't have to speak.

"I guess we'll be expelled together, then. Kamagata-sama told my mother last night I couldn't come back next year." A hush descended over the small knot of people listening to or participating in the conversation. Sure, they had all gossiped about him, but what would their school be like without Himura-san and Kogoro-san? What would they be like without school?

"Take your seats. I have the results of your tests." Kamagata-sama called the class to order and the discussion was ended.

Later that afternoon, Kenshin showed up at Hiko's dojo with the bad news.

"So did your teacher grade your test?" He asked, clearly expecting a good answer and hoping to put Kenshin in a better mood for their session.

"No. I've been expelled." He squeezed his staff so hard his knuckles were white. "Your idea was good, but my teacher wouldn't do it."

Hiko internally grunted and made a note to speak to some people, see if he could pull any strings. "You'll be okay. Maybe you'll even get to go back to school, you never know."

"Yeah, right." Kenshin smiled joylessly. "It's not like I need high school where I'm going anyway."

"Where are you going?" Hiko asked, suddenly very suspicious.

"The military," Kenshin smiled, remembering his dream, and wryly considering how it might come about sooner than he'd thought. The idea didn't give him as much satisfaction as it should have.

"The _military_?"

"At least my parents won't have to waste their money on another year of school,"

"The MILITARY?"

"And I can start earning a paycheck sooner. It's all working out well, actually."

"Are you _insane_?" Teacher and student both gawked at each other, each positive he hadn't heard what he thought he'd just heard.

"Shishou, I thought you'd be happy," Kenshin recovered enough to reply.

"Why would I be happy? The military is the worst place for you!"

"How can you say that? You've taught me to fight, taught me that I can save people with the skills we practice every day… but you didn't want me to learn to use them on my own, did you? It was all a bunch of hypocritical bullshit! You just wanted me to stay here, dependent on you so you could control me, right? Keep me in your shadow?"

"It's not that at all, Kenshin."

"Then what is it? Tell me!"

"You can't give anyone control over you, not even me! The military will just use you for its own agenda! Do you really think you'll choose who you fight, who you kill? They don't give a damn about your idealistic plans! They'll just use you and… and toss you aside!"

"Is that what you think of human nature? That everybody's twisted except you, and maybe me? You think soldiers and generals are so cruel that they'd do that to me and every other person who joins them? You've been locked away in this dojo too long, Shishou; you've forgotten how to trust," Kenshin wasn't even yelling at this point, just speaking with such disgust, it was worse than yelling. "Just don't you worry about me, I'll be fine without you!"

Kenshin turned and left, barely stopping to get his things. The door slammed, and Hiko wondered if the special child he'd seen fit to train was really walking out of life permanently. Strings had to be pulled.

* * *

Teachers meandered in and out of the conference room, where there were doughnuts. The janitors ran vacuums over the plum carpet of the conference room, the library, and a few other places throughout the mostly tiled floors of the school. The entire building was now bereft of children, summer vacation having come, for them, the day before. Teachers would be released after a few more days, administrators would get a mere two or three weeks of vacation during the whole summer, and janitors would be there every day, repainting, re-waxing, and refurbishing, getting the school ready for the following year. 

Minowara Rakei sat at her desk, hair back in a feeble attempt to ward off the summer heat that invaded while the air conditioners were being serviced. Pink button-down still crisp, sleeves rolled up, she tackled pile after pile of student scheduling forms, punching their data into the computer and scrunching her face all un in frustration each time a student could not be given his or her requested classes. Sometimes it required going back to students who already had working schedules and rearranging things, but if there was a way for a student to get the classes he or she needed, Minowara-san would find it.

The phone on her desk rang, as it seldom did this time of year. She made calls and sent flurries of messages through the school's intranet, but it was early for the calls from parents to begin pouring in. It wasn't time for them to obsess over preparations for next year yet, and it was much too late for the parents of failing students to make a difference in their children's academic status. Minowara-san hoped it was a straggler from the latter group, however, because she needed time before parents worried about schedules or services for the fall started asking for answers she didn't have.

"East Tokyo High School, Minowara-san speaking," she answered her phone with professional courtesy despite her personal discomfort with the heat and the oddly timed call.

"Ohayou, Rakei," replied a voice she'd never expected to hear again.

"Ohayou, Seijurou-sensei," she said after a moment.

As a teenager, Rakei had wandered into a younger Hiko's dojo and he'd wanted so much to train her, knowing she had the potential to be truly amazing, and possessed the selfless maturity to use the skills well, but she hadn't wanted that path in life. Hiko hadn't tried to convince her, since if one entered a path without passion, it didn't matter how talented one was. Bitterness would set in and the very people one had thought to serve would become objects of resentment. No good could come of forcing oneself into a role out of duty alone.

She had understood this as well, and had dedicated her life to a calling closer to her heart. Rakei had still come to the dojo for the society of her wise friend and sometimes sought advice there, but as she grew older had ceased going to the dojo in the middle of nowhere. "It's been a long time," Hiko commented, indulging in only that one token of their past friendship.

"It has," she answered, possessing no more words. There was a long silence, and then, "I'm not allowed to use this line for personal calls."

"I didn't call just to say that. I have a student, and he was your student, too, up until two days ago."

"He graduated? Why didn't he call here himself, if he's looking for his records?"

"He didn't graduate."

"Surely he didn't fail out… I can get him a tutor, but he'll have to apply fresh for next year," she began to rifle through papers, looking for the numbers of tutors she knew. Most likely math he needed, so…

"He didn't fail out."

"You don't mean…"

"He's been expelled. He was caught with a stolen answer key to a chemistry final. He bought it from another student before the test."

"Oh, Sensei…"

"I know the reason is perfectly logical, but he's never done anything like this before and he tells me he decided not to use it at the last minute. I believe him."

Rakei knew what that meant- Seijurou had taught her some of his perception skills. It helped with her job as a counselor, but she hadn't wanted to know enough to invade others' privacy, however unintentionally. It was impossible to lie to him without his knowing it.

"Still, Sensei, that isn't really enough to clear him,"

"I know. All I'm asking for is a lighter punishment. Suspension would even be better; he's going to wreck his life if he leaves school now."

Her heart was now thoroughly obligated. As with every other student, once she was aware of a problem, she could not do anything else but try her hardest to fix it.

"I'll see what I can do."


	5. Chapter 4: Summer

**Only Time**

**Chapter 4: Summer**

It had been a couple of days since Kenshin had last attended school. He hadn't seen Hiko since then, either, and had called the number a military recruiter at his school had given him. He was scheduled to take the test and have a physical, the whole process the following week, and since he was easily assured of getting in, had begun to wonder where he would be sent. Basic training would undoubtedly be somewhere on Honshu, but after that, he might be sent anywhere. He might be sent to China, Europe, Africa, the Americas… he had no idea.

He was half excited and half sad to be leaving, since school and everyone he knew would be here in Tokyo, and not only was he sad to leave them, but he especially regretted the terms on which he had to leave. One good thing had come of the whole mess, though: he had a date with Honjou-san that afternoon. He was going to take her to a lake he frequented in the summer. They would rent a boat and eat lunch out on the water. He'd never done anything like that with a girl, only by himself or with Sano, but she had said she was different.

That was the main reason he'd gotten interested in her. He didn't want another quick fling with somebody who wanted to claim him, and he didn't want a load of pretentious crap like going to fancy restaurants where the food came in portions the size of coins and cost a month's allowance. There was no point wading through all that when what he really wanted was someone who'd go out on the lake with him, who'd be his friend, and maybe the sex part could come later. Honjou-san seemed like she wanted to be that person.

About an hour before he needed to leave to pick Honjou-san up, he stepped into the shower, fresh clothes waiting in his room, robe waiting on a hook near the bathroom door. A little-known fact about Himura Kenshin was that he took forever in the shower. His siblings knew it, of course, and could be found banging on the door after a few minutes. What could he say? It took a long time to wash hair that reached mid-back length. He finally turned off the water and began drying. When he was in his room, he donned simple jeans and a tee shirt with a button down over it, unbuttoned to expose the tee shirt.

He rolled up the sleeves of his button down to just below his elbows and instead of the topknot reserved for school and training, opted for a more laid-back low ponytail. He deposited his wallet in his back pocket and was ready to go. Descending the stairs, he saw his father come in at the same time he always came, so as soon as Kenshin reminded him of where he would be the rest of the afternoon and possibly evening, he was out the door. The twins were absorbed in their games and Akane was in her room, so his departure left an impact on no one.

When Kenshin arrived at Honjou-san's door, though, he started to feel a little weird. He hadn't been nervous about a date in a very long time, since he had had a lot of practice in that area, but he questioned why he was there. She had said she was different, but what did that mean? Anybody could say that- it didn't mean she was different in a way that mattered. If she wanted what every other girl he'd dated wanted, what difference did it make? None at all. She had said she was different, and he'd believed her, barely knowing her.

Still, he was already there and she was expecting him. He had planned to take her to the lake. If it went well, maybe she really was different. If not, well, he didn't have to give her what she maybe expected of him. She'd be surprised if he refused her, but what could she do about it, force him? Not likely, but with her size and anatomy, damn near impossible. Did he care if she went and told all her friends he'd refused to give it up? Did he care if his reputation at a school he would never see again changed?

"Hello," the tiny woman of his thoughts greeted him, somewhat nervously, as she stepped out of her house. It hadn't occurred to him to imagine what she wore outside school. Instead of the usual navy blue pleated skirt and white blouse, she sported a blue and green sundress.

"Hello," Kenshin smiled and put those thoughts out of his mind. What good did it do to think the worst of people? He held her hand, escorting her to his family's one and only car.

"Where are we going?" She asked, entering the vehicle.

"A lake outside the city. It's beautiful out there," he explained, beginning to drive. It was funny how both of them were a little bit nervous, shockingly normal after all the dates he'd been on where he had been more cynical than nervous, hoping for a girl to show interest in him as a person, but never really expecting it. Maybe he had handicapped himself by thinking that in the first place.

"Oh," she replied, cutely too nervous to think of more. He noted with a smile that she _did_ seem different.

The drive was quiet, the two of them only occasionally hazarding attempts at conversation. It wasn't uncaring, like the silences on his previous dates, but more like they both cared so much about the outcome of this day that they were afraid to spoil it.

Once they finally arrived at the lake, they first went into a little building that served as an office for the people that dealt with boats, fishing licenses, and that sort of thing. Kenshin was carrying a little cooler, which surprised his date a little, he could tell, but she wasn't overly shocked. An attendant followed them out to their boat, making sure there were life jackets in it, asking them if they knew how to swim, and showing them how to use the oars. The precautions were unnecessary in their case, but the owners couldn't be too careful.

Kenshin moved to take both oars, but Honjou-san beat him to one of them. She wanted to help row, then. That was fine. They rowed out away from the dock, staying away from bigger boats that made waves big enough to capsize them, enjoying the wind on their faces and the fine mist over the lake. Sitting in the back of the boat, Kenshin was splashed by Honjou-san's oar quite a bit, but that was all right with him. He wasn't soaking wet, just a little spotty. They finally reached the middle of the lake, and Kenshin stopped rowing.

* * *

"Why did you stop?" Kama asked her date, the legendary Himura-san. She still didn't really know how she'd gotten him to go out with her, desirable stud that he was. The incident in chemistry had had something to do with it, she supposed, but how did that explain his interest in her… the most attractive, smart, chivalrous guy in school, interested in _her_, of all the girls he could have brought here?

"We're at the middle. I thought we could stop and enjoy the scenery," he replied, and she wondered what that was code for. Not that she wouldn't have been up for a bit of whatever that was code for… but what was she thinking? There were people out here.

Her doubts were put to rest when he offered her a sandwich. Apparently he really did mean to enjoy the scenery, and not just whatever scenery he thought would be under her dress. Maybe she had fantasized a few times about the scenery under his clothes, but that didn't mean she wanted to see it on the first date. She had heard things about him, always the willing boy toy, but never the boyfriend. She had always suspected he wasn't really like that, and his recent abstinence from the dating scene had seemed like a confirmation. Still, just in case she was wrong, she didn't want to make herself seem too available.

She took the sandwich he offered and nibbled at it, more nervous than he could know. Would he discover her secret? Yes, the secret was what she had referred to when she'd told him she was different, and it had seemed to draw him to her, but when he found out what it really was…

She noticed him looking at her over his sandwich, watching her eat and maybe admiring her a little. She forgot her worry quickly. Himura-san looking at her… she had died and reached Nirvana! She looked back. He was dressed more casually than she'd ever seen him, since she always saw him in his school uniform. Nice though it was to see him all dressed up each day in his blazer and everything, it was sweet to see what he wore when given the choice. The jeans weren't surprising, but she guessed it was just the idea of seeing him in his natural habitat, so to speak. It was nice, like she had some insight into him she hadn't had before.

After they rowed back to the dock and turned in the boat, they rode back to Kama's house in the twilight. They arrived quietly, and Kama was a little sad the date was over. She was a little worried that maybe it wasn't over, too. Did he expect to be invited in? Would he invite her to his house? She was being silly, of course. Her parents were home, and his probably were, too. They were seventeen, after all. Where had he… done whatever he'd done with other girls? Their houses? His car? She was so clueless about all this dating stuff…

A more normal worry surfaced as he walked her to her door, holding her hand. Would he want a good night kiss? Should she offer one? Would it be too soon? Would she risk him finding out her secret? Secret aside, she did want to kiss him. She was so careful all the time, so sick of hiding that particular piece of information. Maybe she could afford this one little indulgence.

"Good night…" Himura-san sort of trailed off, then seemed to find the words he sought. "May I call you by your given name?"

She smiled. That was a good sign. It probably meant he wanted a second date, she thought with glee. "It's Kama," she replied.

"Good night, Kama-kun,"

"Good night, Himura-san,"

"It's Kenshin,"

"Good night, Kenshin-kun," she liked the way his name felt in her mouth. "I had a good time." She tilted her head up toward him, enough so he could kiss her smoothly, but not enough that she would look stupid if he didn't.

The next part, for her, was absolutely magical. Himura-san, or now she guessed she could think of him as Kenshin, serenely replied, "I did, too," tilted his head sideways, and brought his right hand up to her cheek, cradling her face and positioning it perfectly for their meeting. His soft, warm mouth guided her faltering, inexperienced attempts into a very nice kiss.

* * *

Kenshin walked back to his car after a smile and a repeated "good night" to Kama-kun. It really had been different than any of his previous experiences. She didn't invite him in, which was a good sign for him. For once, he had been on a date that could potentially lead somewhere other than the back of his car or a dark bedroom. A quiet smile crept back onto his face as he drove away.

* * *

Kama entered her house, hearing her mother washing dishes and seeing her father reading the paper in the next room. Careful not to let them see her before she snuck up to her room to don more "appropriate" fashion items, she practically danced up the stairs with the quietest squeal of joy she could manage.

**Author's Note**

Oooo, the suspense! At least I hope so. Anybody have a guess at who Kama is, and what her secret is? Maybe you need to know her full name, maybe you just need to figure out her secret, but you will all recognize her soon.


	6. Chapter 5: Breathe Easier

**Only Time**

**Chapter 5: Good News **

Rakei leaned over her desk, frustrated after what seemed like hours going around in circles with Kamagata-san. She insisted on expulsion for Himura-san, but aside from the favor she'd been asked, Rakei knew that was a rather harsh punishment for a first-time cheater. Himura-san had an excellent track record at school, and had hardly gotten in trouble in his three years there. If he had been the one who had stolen the answers and sold them to other students, that might be cause for more concern, since stealing along with cheating compounded the problem, but another boy had confessed to that part of the crime.

"You can't be soft on children who break the rules, Minowara-san. They will only do it again."

"I'm not suggesting letting him off with a warning. I just want you to consider lowering his punishment to suspension, or even detention."

"I have been teaching high school for twenty-one years, and no one has ever cheated on one of my tests before. Do you know why that is?"

"Hai, Kamagata-san,"

"Because I have a reputation for harsh punishments. It doesn't make me popular, but it gets the job done."

"There is more to 'the job' than keeping them under your thumb."

"Are you suggesting I'm not doing my job?"

"Part of your job, and part of my job, and all our jobs here is to educate not just in science, math, literature, and social studies, but in life as well. We came here because we cared for children. They need more than just chemistry formulae to get them through life. You must consider the whole person."

"You mean these children must learn things like how to be honest and trustworthy?" Kamagata-san replied pointedly.

Rakei was silent for a moment. "Is Himura-san honest and trustworthy?" She asked.

"Apparently not,"

"Don't judge based on this incident alone. Has he been honest and trustworthy as long as you've known him?"

"Until he cheated on my test, yes, he was an honest and trustworthy young man in my eyes."

"There,"

"No, Minowara-san, that is not sufficient."

"Not completely, no, but this is not something he normally does. His personality did not change in the blink of an eye. He is still an honest and trustworthy person who made one mistake."

"He will make others."

"Yes…"

"He will not make this one again if I show him it will not be tolerated."

"And you can show him that by suspending him. If he's expelled, he will have no use for chemistry or classes and will never have the opportunity to show that he's learned from his mistake."

"Good day, Minowara-san, I have other business." Click.

Rakei sighed and hung up the phone. There was Kamagata-san for you: stubborn as a mule, even if it meant hurting her students in the long run. She would have been happier in the military with an attitude like that.

Rakei went about her work that day, a subtle cloud of worry around her thoughts. She kept thinking she should call Kamagata-san and try again, but she couldn't say anything she hadn't already said, and if she irritated the woman, she might actually think of something worse to do to Himura-san.

She had done what she could. She might be able to convince one of the principles to overrule the teacher, and would have to the next day. Once her decision was made, she felt a little lighter, but still carried a burden on her heart. The thing that made it sink like lead happened later that afternoon. An aide came in with Himura-san's official discipline report from Kamagata-san. Rakei took it, knowing the teacher's decision wouldn't be changed after this, and read it only for form's sake. She was glad she did, though, when she read that Kamagata-san's recommended punishment was two weeks' suspension.

* * *

It was now a week and a half since school had ended for the year, and Kenshin was slowly getting used to the idea that while most of his friends would be returning to school the following year, he would be somewhere he'd never been, with no one he knew, communicating with his family through letters.

It still didn't seem quite real somehow. He kept catching himself thinking of being at school again and having to remind himself that that would never be. He lay on his bed, alone since the twins were forever watching cartoons. The ceiling was fascinating. No, really it was. He just lay there, staring at it for hours. Thoughts of never completing high school floated through his mind, but he was definitely there for the ceiling. Definitely.

He knew what would make him feel better. He would call Kama. She was so friendly and sweet that he couldn't help but like her. She wasn't as… well, _voluptuous_ as other girls he'd dated, but that only added to her charm. She wasn't more of the same, he could say that. She was as different from the other girls as possible without being a boy. Her body seemed like her only similarity to them, and even that wasn't _real_ similar. Kenshin certainly didn't mind. The last thing he wanted was to go out with another girl just like all the others he knew.

Kama's father answered, and seemed happy that he was calling for her.

"Who is this, please?"

"Kenshin, from school,"

"Ah," her father said, and a moment later, Kama was on the line.

"Hi, Kenshin-kun,"

"Hi, Kama-kun,"

"What's going on?"

"Not much. I was just thinking about school,"

"Yeah… too bad that happened in chemistry. Kamagata's such a dictator."

"Yeah… I guess so, but I don't have to worry about her anymore. The military'll be totally different… I'll have a commanding officer barking orders at me instead of her," he laughed.

"And you don't have to do homework… physical stuff will be easy for you, won't it?"

"It depends, I guess… but I might end up a spy. That'd be pretty cool."

"Yeah… dangerous, but cool,"

"I'm kinda hoping for that… the soldiers really don't see much action now, and what's the point if I don't make any difference by being there? At least as a spy I can do something for the country."

"I guess so… are you really looking forward to it, then?"

"Well, I'm not looking forward to living far away from my friends and everybody, but the military's always been my dream."

"Oh, really? So do you play all those video games that take place in war and stuff?"

He inwardly laughed. She didn't know how strange that would be for him. He would never enjoy fighting in that kind of situation; he'd only do it because he was protecting people from harm. Besides, it was cute how clueless she sounded about the games. He was equally clueless; he couldn't name a single one, even though his brothers probably had some in this very room. "No… I'm not really a video game person, and even if I was, my little brothers would never let me have a minute with them."

"You have brothers?"

"Yeah, twin six year old brothers and a twelve year old sister,"

"Aww, I bet the twins are cute."

"Yeah… messy, but cute," he laughed, looking around the room he shared with the younger boys.

"What are their names?"

"Naga and Sei. My sister's name is Akane."

"Those are nice names. Maybe I'll meet them soon?" That seemed like a hint…

"You want to come over tomorrow and meet everybody?" He knew better than to do what instinct dictated and invite her for "sometime." If a date wasn't nailed down, sometime tended not to come, and people either forgot or were afraid to look needy by bringing it up again.

"That'd be cool," she replied, "I'll come over about noon, is that okay?"

"Sure. I'll be ready."

"Ok," she answered, and there was a pause. That topic of conversation didn't naturally lead into anything, and there was nothing more to discuss within it. "Well, I gotta go. See you tomorrow,"

"See you tomorrow,"

"Bye,"

"Bye," Kenshin hung up the phone and, feeling more lighthearted, walked downstairs to mingle with his family.

* * *

The thing he least expected to see greeted him in the kitchen. Both of his parents were in the kitchen, and they were serving sake in a small glass to, of all the possible people to be sitting in his kitchen, Hiko.

"Hello, Shishou," he said, a little wary of what this might mean. Was he going to try and talk Kenshin's parents out of letting him go into the military? He hadn't seen Hiko since the day they'd fought over that particular goal of Kenshin's.

"Your teacher was just about to tell us some important news," Kenshin's father explained, looking over at Hiko expectantly.

"Is he doing well in his training with you?" His mother asked. Kenshin hadn't told his parents about his falling out with Hiko, nor that he had stopped seeing him.

"He could do better," Hiko answered. Leave it to him not to be kind even when Kenshin's parents were there. "But that's not what I came here to talk about. I talked to Kenshin's counselor at school."

"Oh," his mother replied sadly. "Then you know what happened."

"Kenshin told me the day it happened, right after school. I talked to his counselor to see if I could help. Minowara-san is an old acquaintance of mine."

"What did she say?"

"I got a call from her earlier today. Kenshin is not being expelled."

"Eee!" Kenshin's mother called out, nearly in tears, and hugged him almost until his eyes popped out. Kenshin himself just went limp, the relief too much for words or cries. He was just sublimely happy. Even his father was smiling a mile wide. Hiko only showed a calm half-smile, seeing the family's joy. He was also glad Kenshin would be going back to school instead of to the military, but wasn't one for open displays of emotion. He simply took in the scene, waiting for the family to calm down again.

"He's not completely off the hook," Hiko continued when he thought he'd actually be heard above the family's exultation, "he's suspended the first two weeks of the school year. Kamagata-san wouldn't allow any less."

"Thank you, Shishou," Kenshin interjected, calmly pointing out that it was better than the alternative. Even if his family was sad that he was suspended, they must be glad he was not expelled, and be grateful to his teacher, who had made that possible.

"Thank Minowara-san when you see her at school. All I did was explain the situation."

"Would you like something to eat, Seijurou-san?"

"No, thank you, Himura-san. I expect to see you early tomorrow morning, Kenshin."

Hiko left on that note, not even pausing to bow as he left, not that Kenshin was surprised. He hadn't seen Hiko around other people much, but he had definitely never seen the man bow.


	7. Chapter 6: Keeping Secrets

**Review Responses**

Glad the chapters are a good length. This one is a smidge longer than usual, which I hope makes up for last chapter being short.

I _do_ love reviews, as you've astutely observed. Glad you think I deserve them, and I hope I'll continue to get as many as I've had, and more if i'm that lucky.

To those who are surprised about Kamatari, I do regret saying his/her full name at that juncture... I'm going to revise that chapter so future readers get more suspense.

The comment about chapter one was really funny, about seeing that you couldn't see what you were seeing. Glad it made sense.

Also the comment about Hiko's finger in th prologue... you must have been busy catching up with all the chapters!

So long, and, uh... thanks for all the fish! I mean compliments... thanks for the compliments...

**Only Time**

**Chapter 6: Keeping Secrets**

Kenshin entered the dojo promptly at 8am, as per Hiko's instructions. He went to change and came back to sit stiffly in front of his mentor, not speaking. Two bows and two quivers of arrows lay between them, as some weapon or other always did at this point in the lesson. The bow was not new to Kenshin, so Hiko did not tarry sitting here to explain its use as he had done whenever he introduced new weapons or techniques. It had been a long time since that had happened; Kenshin seemed to know how to use every weapon he could possibly ever need, and many he was never likely to need.

Hiko took his bow and arrows and led Kenshin wordlessly outdoors, where there was an abandoned field in which they could practice. Kenshin had long ago graduated beyond stationary targets, but carrying dead deer or such would have been a bit cumbersome on the walk home, so they did not hunt animals. There would have been no deer anyway, since nothing much bigger than a rat lived in this run-down, but still inhabited, section of the city besides the occasional human.

What made more sense to them than driving out to the country to find deer was a method of Hiko's own concoction. He would first shoot an arrow in any direction that he deemed appropriate, and Kenshin was then expected to hit his arrow. More often than not, he succeeded in knocking Hiko's arrow off course, but sometimes he achieved his real goal of breaking the arrow or having his arrow stick in it. An arrow, he guessed, was a more difficult target than a human or animal anyway, it being so small, but it did have a range more limited than that of a running creature, and it didn't decide to change direction suddenly.

Kenshin's arrows flew especially swiftly and accurately that day, though attributing this to a lift in his mood would be an error. He made no sounds remotely resembling speech, and looked at Hiko only when it was absolutely necessary. This turn of mood might have been welcomed by someone like Hiko who didn't know Kenshin so well, but Hiko did indeed know Kenshin well enough to realize this did not mean he was becoming more manly or less emotional, but that something was wrong. He didn't need to ask, though, what it was.

Hiko knew perfectly well that Kenshin was not as blindly grateful to him for getting his place at school back as his parents were. Kenshin must have known it was Hiko's way of stopping him from joining the military. While at this point all it was was a delay, Hiko was hoping he could persuade the boy not to go through with it, given an extra year's time. Much as he hated to admit it, his usual strategy of silence was not going to work this time. Letting Kenshin think he took his stance for his own selfish reasons would never convince him it was correct, and Kenshin would no longer obey without question. He had been taught to have his own mind, and so he would. Hiko was going to have to change it the hard way: by talking to him.

"I thought you would be happy you're going back to school," Hiko began as they walked back inside the dojo.

"Am I supposed to believe my happiness was your motive?" Kenshin replied coldly.

"You're not _supposed_ to believe anything. I'm telling the truth. It's up to you whether you believe it."

Kenshin stopped walking and retorted, "Don't give me that bullshit. You don't want me in the military for reasons only known to you, just like with everything else, and you don't give a damn what I want!"

"I give a damn more than you'd like to think. I know this doesn't make you happy right now, but in the long term, you'll be better off without the military ordering you around."

"So you can order me around instead?"

"Am I forcing you to come here?" He knew he was treading on dangerous ground, pointing out that Kenshin could quit whenever he desired and Hiko couldn't stop him, but it was true.

Kenshin didn't reply. He knew he could renounce his position of Hiko's apprentice if he wished, and there was a puzzling bit of truth. Why, then, did Hiko so vehemently oppose his joining the military, if not for the sake of keeping control?

"Everything I said before was true. They'll take control, you won't know why you're doing what you do, you won't have the option of refusing if you disagree! Who knows what they'll get you to do once they gain your trust?"

Perhaps Hiko really believed what he was saying, Kenshin thought. In any case, that didn't make it true. "I appreciate your concern, Shishou, but there are people who need me." He left Hiko to wonder whether he meant the military and the citizens of Japan needed him, or his family needed him to go home instead of continuing this discussion. Hiko thought probably both.

* * *

Kenshin did need to hurry home, but not necessarily because of his family. Kama was coming over that day, because he had invited her over for lunch. She would meet his parents, who would be in a good mood because of Hiko's news the previous day, so they shouldn't interrogate her too much. 

He took the quickest shower he could manage, but all the same, he was upstairs getting dressed when he heard the doorbell ring. He hoped one of his parents would get the door, or at least Akane. The twins were a bit high strung on a good day, but at the moment they had just had their weekly dose of Saturday morning cartoons. It was a good thing neither of his parents worked that day, because Naga and Sei would be demonstrating their favorite super heroes' moves on the furniture right about then. Perhaps Kenshin should have referred them to Hiko instead of going himself all these years.

Kenshin couldn't hear what was being said below, but he gathered someone over seven had answered the door, because there was no pause or change in the noise from the boys. He hurried down the stairs, still buttoning the nicer shirt he wore over his tee shirt. Since this meal with his parents and Kama was a little less relaxed than their date on the lake, he had opted to button it up halfway, mostly obscuring the tee shirt. He smiled as he neared the bottom of the stairs, seeing Akane greeting Kama and beginning to lead her into the dining room by way of the living room, where she was doing her best to ignore Naga and Sei.

Kama looked at them, though, and she just laughed at how cute they were, commenting politely to him and Akane. They entered the dining room, where Kenshin's parents were getting up from their chairs, waiting to be introduced.

"Otousan, Okaasan, this is Kama, my…" he paused, unsure. He was used to using the word 'girlfriend' pretty lightly, but this was special. He didn't want to jinx it, but would she be offended if he didn't refer to her that way? Would she be offended if he did? They had all noticed his hesitation, and besides, the fact that she was here to meet his parents did kind of point to them being serious… "my girlfriend."

"Ah, well," his mother said, interested. "Nice to meet someone my son is so interested in. It's not every day he brings home a girlfriend!"

Kama gave a sort of awkwardly pleased smile, astonished that his parents seemed to be ignorant of the multitude of girlfriends their son had indeed had. For all Kama knew, though, it was she who was wrong; perhaps the rumors weren't true…

She bowed, and both of Kenshin's parents did the same. The four of them sat down, leaving three empty chairs for the children who would be called when the meal began.

"Our food will be ready in a little while," his mother explained. "Let's talk in the meantime. I assume you two met at school?"

"That's right, Himura-san. We have chemistry class together," Kama answered, and though it was true that they had chemistry together, Kenshin found himself wondering whether it was wise to talk about that. Both his parents stiffened a bit.

"Ah, chemistry class," his father replied, looking pointedly at Kenshin.

"I haven't told you, Kama," Kenshin added hastily, wanting to rid his father's face of that look that said _You will pay_. "I'm not being expelled. Kamagata-sama's reduced my punishment to two weeks' suspension."

"Oh, that's wonderful, Kenshin!" Kama replied beaming at him. "School would have been so dreary next year without you!"

Both his parents nodded curtly. This was acceptable.

Shortly after, Kenshin' mother went to check on their meal and returned to the room with two bowls of soup, which she set down at her own place and his father's place. She went back to the kitchen and came out with two more bowls for Kenshin and Kama. Even after she called, "Naga! Sei! Akane!" nobody made a move to help carry the three bowls remaining or the three drinks brought out for the children. The four who'd been talking at the table had had their drinks the whole time, and chopsticks were already at each place setting.

They had a nice meal, everyone contributing to the conversation, although Kenshin's and Kama's contributions were perhaps more nervously polite than anyone else's. Kama was asked about her studies, her family, her plans to attend college, and every other subject Kenshin's parents could think of to discuss. Kenshin did his best to ensure there were no terribly awkward intrusions into her life by his parents and to steer Kama away from anything it might be best to hide from his parents. Goodbyes were said on good terms, and Kama was invited to return sometime to see the family again.

Kenshin escorted her outside, not knowing if she had come by car or subway or had walked. He didn't see a car there besides his family's, so he couldn't walk her to it. "Do you want me to walk you to the subway?" He asked upon reaching the sidewalk.

"No thanks, I walked here."

"Oh. I'll see you another time then…"

"Yeah, we'll talk on the phone later, probably."

It was getting a bit awkward, dragging out this tiny moment of being alone together.

"Well, goodbye,"

"Goodbye,"

Still neither of them moved. They both seemed like they were waiting for something, and indeed they were. Looking in every direction to be sure no one was watching, both leaned in for a quick peck before Kama waved and set off, both of them once more saying goodbye.

* * *

Kama walked away down the sidewalk, pleased that when she looked back, Kenshin was still watching her walk away. It was too much for her to think things were going this well, that he really liked her… that he had kissed her twice! She'd never gotten this far with a boy, mostly because she was too afraid of divulging her secret. Kenshin was different, though. He hadn't liked any of the girls at their school enough to stay with them this long, for surely they couldn't have given him up without a fight. Who would? A crazy person, that's who. 

If he hadn't liked those other girls, she'd thought, that must mean he wanted someone… different. Not your typical girl. She even wondered for a brief moment that made her heart leap whether he liked girls at all. He liked her, though, didn't he, and that was what counted. When he found out her secret, as he was sure to do someday, that would be the true test, but he was the only boy she'd met that she could actually envision accepting her, secret and all. She couldn't reveal it yet, though. Just the chance that he might not accept it warmly, that he might leave her as the other boys had, was enough to keep her silent.

Kama was now within sight of her house, which put a dose of sour in her mood. When she was at school or with Kenshin, she could just pretend her secret didn't exist; she'd gotten quite good at hiding it. At home, however, her family wasn't so accommodating. They knew her secret- how could they not? They just didn't know it _was _a secret. If they knew she'd been living a lie, she'd be in deeper trouble than she'd been the first time they caught her. She had made the mistake of being noticed by the wrong people, she guessed, and her parents had almost sent her to boarding school.

She looked in the window and saw that her father was reading in the living room. If she were quiet, maybe… but if he heard the slightest noise, or looked up upon noticing movement, she was dead. She took the safer route and went around to the side of her house, beneath her bedroom window, and began to climb. She heaved herself into her room, hastily changing into garb her parents would find suitable for the Kama they knew. She put away her billowy, below-the-knee skirt, blue top, and slip, took off her adorable shoes, and removed the padded bra she normally wore. In their place, she donned jeans and a tee shirt, keeping only one article from her former outfit: a brightly-colored, lacy thong her parents would never see.

Kama quickly climbed back out her window and down the house, sneaking back around to the front to enter as if she'd been dressed this way the whole time she'd been gone. She opened the door and sauntered in casually, starting up the stairs to her room.

"Back from Himura-san's house?" Her father asked as soon as her foot hit the bottom step.

"Hai,"

"It's good you have proper male friends, instead of those girls you played with as a child, got you wearing dresses and other foolishness." How fond her father was of reminding her of her foolish childhood.

When he didn't say any more, she continued on her way, off to live what felt like a bigger lie than her real secret. Her life outside this place, away from her parents, was so much more real, so much more _right_, somehow, that it felt like the truth, should have been the truth. Nature, instead, had played a cruel trick on Kama, granting her a real life that felt like a lie and a lie that felt real.


	8. Chapter 7: I Shall Return

**Review Reply**

Yes, it is who you said it is... but relax, Kenshin doesn't know...but he will soon find out! He's not going to 'flee' into the military- he's been wanting to go into it since he was a kid. as far as the adam's apple thing, i just didn't think of it. some women do have them, so if this person has a small one, it might not be a dead giveaway. with the physicals and PE class, i figure as far as the school records are concerned, the person is male, but the person just dresses and lives as female, so everyone assumes the person is one. PE class would have been a sticky situation if the males and females are separated... i haven't figured that part out yet. surely they don't have PE every year, and they are seniors, so they probably don't have it right now anyway. at least in my world they don't.

**Only Time**

**Chapter 7: I Shall Return**

East Tokyo High School was abuzz with whispered gossip. Apparently a lot of people were still out of the loop as to the chemistry class incident, or had only heard the version of the story in which the test answers were a risqué love note, because few seemed to know why Himura-san was not present the first day of school. Some suspected the standard story for an absence: that he was sick. Others believed he was too embarrassed to return, or that he was not back from an extended summer vacation.

Only one student in the whole of twelfth grade knew the entire truth. Honjou Kama knew that Himura-san was suspended, but was not asked for her opinion on the matter. No one gave her a second glance as they contemplated Himura-san's decided lack of presence. She heard the whispers in language arts, she heard them in French, she heard them in chemistry, and she finally could not take it anymore.

"Maybe he's just sick," someone offered to a group nearby.

"Oh, please. He's just embarrassed about that note he wrote Honjou-san. It must've been pretty juicy if Kamagata wouldn't read it out loud."

"I heard that wasn't a note," everybody looked at this girl quizzically; they had all seen Kamagata-sama confiscate it.

"What are you talking about? What would he have thrown on the floor like that but a note?"

"I heard he was trying to cheat on the final and dropped the answers," the girl replied, smugly noting that she was the center of the entire room's hushed attention. "Kamagata expelled him, last I heard." Kama briefly wondered if she had gone deaf. The room was that silent. No one was speaking, and then the last person anyone expected to speak, the quiet, shy, tiny Kama, opened her mouth.

"It's true," she said. "I thought he was passing me a note at first, and when Kamagata-sama got that look on her face, I thought it was pretty bad, too, and I was mad at him. Kogoro-san explained it, though. Himura-san bought the answers, but then didn't use them on the test," she felt it was important to interject that part, to preserve Kenshin's honor. "He's only suspended now, though, Minowara-sama convinced Kamagata-sama to lower his punishment." If it was possible, it was even quieter than it had been before she'd spoken. No one moved a muscle, even to pick their jaws up off the floor, until Kamagata-sama entered the room and the spell was broken.

After that period, the school was positively humming with speculation. Her new story had added a new dimension to the gossip, but that wasn't the only surprise. Everyone was even more astonished she'd spoken at all, much less claimed an insight no one else had. Surely she couldn't know what no one else did about Himura-san… could she? She wasn't known to be friends with him, or with any other popular person. With any _person_. She was practically a nonentity among high-schoolers.

Kama's pride was a little wounded that they were so shocked to find she was connected with Kenshin, but she knew it was important for her to keep a low profile, as friendly as she was naturally inclined to be. If anyone got too close, her secret might be revealed. If her secret was revealed… off to boarding school with her. She didn't miss the comments her father offhandedly threw in almost daily; her behavior would not be tolerated if it were known.

The gossip continued, nay, intensified, as the two weeks of Kenshin's suspension wore on. Very few still innocently or obstinately believed he suffered from an extended illness or was on an extended vacation, but the majority were convinced either suspension or expulsion were the case. A certain group even subscribed to the idea that he had quit school of his own free will, but anyone who knew the bright, diligent Himura-san or his parents knew that was not exactly an option in his book.

At the height of their frenzied speculation, an event occurred which amplified it to a fever pitch. The long-absent figure of a muscular redhead was seen walking through the halls on the first day of the third week of school that year. Even those who had not cared much about his story the past two weeks were just a bit curious as to the explanation he would give, but there was one thing even more surprising. Everyone had raised their eyebrows when Honjou-san claimed to know details Himura-san's life no one else did, but they were quite flabbergasted to see her _flirting_ with him- and to see him taking an interest! Apparently a new couple had entered the East Tokyo High School scene without anyone's knowledge, and an unlikely couple at that. Shy, soft spoken Kama was the last sort of girl the student body expected their resident Sex God to fall for, and he didn't seem quite her type, either.

Amid the firing of questions and whispered, mostly untruthful answers, the two wound their way to their respective lockers, each hanging around to talk while the other filled a backpack with books. They parted ways for class, but everyone had seen quite enough to fill their telephone conversations with reconsiderations of Kama's spin on the story. It did seem like she was in a position to know. What if she was trying to play for attention by claiming that story, though? What would her new boyfriend say to that?

Still, the couple seemed oblivious, or at least apathetic, to the stares they received throughout the day. They sat together at lunch and smiles were seen to pass between them in chemistry. It was more of a romantic relationship than anyone had ever known Kenshin to have. Usually his escapades were over before anyone even knew about them. Someone had it on good authority that they'd been dating all summer.

"How was your day?" Kenshin asked Kama as they left the school building.

"Weird. Everybody was looking at me all day."

"Gossip sucks, huh?" Kenshin replied, knowing from experience that it did indeed suck.

When safely out of sight of the school crowds, they joined hands and Kama's heart flipped for two reasons. She was enjoying the contact, the fact that she was allowed to touch him, and the feel of his skin against hers, even if it was just their hands… but she knew she and Kenshin both were getting into _that mood_. It satisfied her beyond anything imaginable that she could get him into _that mood_, and she had begun to sample the pleasures _that mood_ offered, but there was a much greater risk of her secret rearing its ugly head when the two of them were in _that mood_ together. She knew it would seem weird to Kenshin if she didn't act on her impulses, so she had allowed herself to go with him so far. She had allowed herself to enjoy the pressure of his lips, his hands on her waist and back, and the feel of his body against hers, just as long as she didn't enjoy it _too_ much. If she let herself get carried away, he would know her secret in a heartbeat, and although she ultimately hoped he could accept her even after he knew it, she was never sure that would happen.

They continued walking as far as Kenshin's house, since hers was farther away from the school, and since she had no hurry. He had to be there before his mother left for work, so the children wouldn't be alone. He invited her in, and after greeting his mother, she followed him into the front room to watch television. Naga and Sei played noisily around them and Akane did her homework, so they sat and talked about what they were watching, laughing in the right places and generally just hanging out. They held hands still, sitting close. Kama even lay her head on Kenshin's shoulder. They passed his mother on the way up the stairs. She had finished getting ready for work and was on her way out the door, so they said goodbye as they went up.

"Your mom lets you have girls in your room when she's not here?"

"I'm almost an adult; she trusts me," he replied as he flopped down on his futon.

"Should she?" Kama asked half mischievously, half really wanting to know.

"No," Kenshin replied, but he was not even partially joking- there was more regret than anything in his voice.

"S-So then the rumors are true?" Kama slowly sat down next to where he was still sprawled on his side.

"Only about half of them," Kenshin replied, finding something very absorbing on the blue painted wall opposite them. "I was never with Buntaro-san, Yoshi-san, Smith-san…" he counted on his fingers each of the girls he was falsely believed to have dated.

"But you're… not a virgin?"

"No," he admitted, regretfully, but honestly.

She briefly wondered if he'd ever gotten a girl pregnant or been tested for social diseases, but this wasn't the time to bring that up. She'd probably effectively killed the mood already…

"Does that make you think differently of me?" He asked, breaking a pause.

"No. I always heard what people said and everything, and I never really knew if it was true, but I still liked you. I knew I would even if everything was true."

He smiled up at her, apparently cheered by this show of loyalty. She was only telling the truth, but was glad she could make him happy with it. She smiled back and kissed him, finding that he readily returned it, plus interest. Pretty soon they were happy and comfortable again, mood successfully restored.

A few kisses later, both were caught up in the flame they had started. Kama was lying on top of Kenshin with her head resting low on his chest. She wasn't really aligned with his body; that is, her pelvis was not lying on his, but on the bed between his legs, while her stomach was resting on his pelvis. She rubbed her cheek against the bare skin upon which it lay. So many times she had fantasized about that skin, and it was better than she'd imagined. It was soft, smooth, supple, and underlain with muscle. His beautiful, tanned body was partially uncovered for her to see, scarlet silken strands spread out over his pillow, and she wasted no precious attention on anything else. His hands reached down to cup her cutely tiny derriere, and at that moment, she was glad for the position they lay in, for it was only by virtue of this position that her secret remained safe. She longed to scoot herself up a bit, so as to feel him more closely, but doing so would put her secret in mortal danger.

Her hands smoothed over his sides, abs (mmm…), arms, and everywhere she could reach without assuming too awkward a position, and soon Kenshin was tugging at her shirt. She looked up at him shamefacedly, eyes positively the size of saucers. Fright was apparent, and her imploring look moved him to speak.

"Never been this far with a guy before?" He asked, not mockingly, but a little amused.

"No," she admitted. He desisted from attempting to untuck her shirt. "But it's okay," she added hastily once she saw this, pulling herself up to kneel astride his legs, pelvis still carefully off of his. "I thought you were going to… go… um… farther, but… if that's all you wanted…" she finished untucking it and commenced to unbutton. Soon her lacy white bra showed through the gap she had made, and Kenshin's tongue peeked out of his mouth, beginning to caress his lips. He sat up and enveloped her in a kiss, arms around her delicate waist and hands on her back, trapping her arms between them, against his chest. Not that she minded, of course. Her secret was dangerously close to being exposed, but as long as neither one of them moved just the right way, he wouldn't find out, although her thong was getting incredibly uncomfortable…

He pulled on the shoulders of her shirt, opening the gap farther and exposing her pale collarbone. Kenshin leaned down to kiss it, and as she leaned her head back to allow him to do it, an alarm went off in her mind. He might not notice, it wasn't that big… still, an Adam's apple was a sort of unladylike thing to have… but some women had them, so it wouldn't really freak him out, would it? Did he think only men had them? She lowered her chin as far as she could without trapping his head below hers. She was never more relieved than when his face once more glided into view and he leaned in to kiss her while at the same time unbuttoning her shirt the rest of the way. She got a thrill of liberating pleasure as he slid the fabric away from her skin, her bra now the only covering on her above the waist.

* * *

God, Kama was skinny. Kenshin had known she was, but now that he saw her so revealed, he could see she was absolutely skin and bones. He thought he could make out her ribs if she moved just right. Was she naturally that thin, or did she starve herself? Was _anybody_ naturally that thin? Kama had never seemed like the overly body-image concerned type, so maybe it was natural… then again, one never knew…

Hmm. She was still pretty, and still very shirtless. She was also still Kama, the sweet, kind girl who didn't judge him on his past. He could talk to her about her health another day; now was the time for connecting with one another. He wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her neck. He began to explore it, kissing it, licking, sucking on the skin of her neck, nibbling a little…

"Oh," a little sound escaped Kama, who was vocalizing her pleasure in wordless babble for the first time. He took that as a "please continue."

* * *

Kama was by now thoroughly enjoying Kenshin's actions, letting out little moans sometimes, and other times just letting her body speak for her. Mental images of the fantasies she'd had of times like this popped up in her head every so often, enhancing her experience and sometimes giving her an idea she actually acted upon. It was a pain keeping her secret hidden through all this, but she was still wearing her skirt, after all. It wasn't too obvious if she stayed in just the right positions.

In the heat of passion, Kenshin flung her down onto her back, a move that, in a fantasy, would have excited her, because it would have meant he would climb on top of her and she would feel his manhood all over her, but in this case, doused every speck of enjoyment she had within her. She was frozen with fear, sorrow, embarrassment, and hope all at the same time. No longer could she hide; her secret stood tall and firm beneath her flimsy skirt. Kenshin now knew what she had been too afraid to tell him all along, and she was breathless with fearful anticipation of his reaction.

* * *

Perhaps it was impolite, but the only words that sprang to Kenshin's mind were _What the hell? _playing in a continuous loop. 


	9. Chapter 8: Truthsaying

**Author Notes:**

sorry this took so long... had a sort of writer's block, but i got over it, sort of.

for anyone who is wondering, the summary WILL come to be accurate as the story moves on, it's just taking me awhile to get there.

**Only Time**

**Chapter 8: Truthsaying**

Kama sat up slowly, concealing the object of her embarrassment once again within her clothing. It had wilted like a flower in the autumn when it had been revealed and time had stopped, and so was no longer pressing against her thong, crying for its freedom. It was content to shrink back into oblivion if it could; sadly, it couldn't. Kenshin had seen it. He now knew her secret, and had the most un-promising look on his face.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" She asked, desperate to end the agony of waiting, not knowing if he hated her, if he could get used to it, if he still deigned to be her friend, at least. There was silence.

The silence drug itself out through seconds of no sound or movement but breathing, the two almost subconsciously recoiling from one another. Kama did so out of fear and embarrassment, tears cascading down her handsome face; Kenshin more probably out of shock and disgust. There was no chance for her. The minutes ticked by and it became clear she would not hear a word from Himura-san's mouth. He was either too taken aback, too revolted, or both to speak. He just stared, stock still.

Kama couldn't stand it any longer. He wasn't going to speak to her. He wasn't going to embrace her and tell her it was all okay. Maybe if she had been able to break it to him gently, in words, without him having a shock like this, he might have, but this way it was ruined. A loud sob contorted her face and she gave up. She pulled herself to her feet and stumbled out of his room, hurried down the stairs, and ran out of his door and out of his life.

* * *

_What the hell…_ Kenshin could barely form that skeleton of a sentence in his traumatized brain. Had he just seen what he thought he'd seen? He must have been imagining things… but then how could he have imagined _that_? Besides, Kama had cried, had been embarrassed, and had run out in tears, so it must have been real. It had been real. How could that have happened? How could Kama, his… he hesitated to use the word _girlfriend_ now because it was obviously not the right term, but how could Kama have… what Kama had had?

Beyond being shocked, and sort of grossed out at the idea that he'd made out with another male on numerous occasions and enjoyed it, Kenshin was a little angry, too. After all, she- he- had lied to him. Kama- if that was his/her real name- hadn't just lied once, but had lived every aspect of her life as a lie, as far as he could tell. How had she- _he_- thought Kenshin would feel after discovering he'd been so intimate with another boy? He guessed that worked for some people, but Kenshin was not gay. At least… he didn't think so. This was cause for doubt, since he had enjoyed the sessions with Kama previous to this one. He had really seen a future for the two of them. Did that make him gay? Did it not count because he'd thought Kama was female? After all, they couldn't have gone too far if he had only just gotten close enough to tell Kama's gender…

Damn her- his- lies. Kenshin wouldn't have been going through this mess of confusion if Kama had not lied to him. He had trusted her. Him. Damn, it, how could someone tell that big a lie? It changed everything!

What did it mean that the first time he had really gotten to know a girlfriend of his, it turned out like this? Was he destined to be forever distant from the opposite sex? Why did she have to get his hopes up like this?

* * *

A small girl sat crumpled on a very un-frilly bed in a very depressing room. Kama, of course, couldn't furnish her room with the items she'd have liked, since her parents would go off the deep end again and she'd be off to boarding school…

She cried knowing her one attempt at closeness had gone awry… what did it mean that the one time she'd gotten to know someone well, he had pushed her away when he discovered the truth? Was she destined to be forever distant from humanity? She could not even be herself around her own parents, of all people. Yes, she meant _her_self; Kama was a _girl_. She just happened to be a girl with a penis, no breasts, no ovaries, an Adam's apple, sparse facial hair which she waxed regularly to avoid stubble…

Okay, dammit, she had been born a boy, so did that mean she had to be one just because her genetics had foisted the wrong genitalia upon her? She worked hard to stay looking womanly, certainly harder than any of the lucky ones who had been born with ovaries to secrete the correct hormones… she starved herself so that fat would not pool up in the wrong places and so her lack of breasts wouldn't stand out… she avoided physical labor whenever possible so her manly muscle configurations wouldn't become prominent… she had taught herself how to stem her sexual pleasure in order to keep from revealing her secret if something aroused her in public… during her younger years, around 12, the ruse had been impossible… she'd had to drop the charade anyway when her parents found out, and had picked it up again in high school. She even had a stockpile of skin care products that maintained her smooth, feminine complexion. It wasn't even a beauty routine, just a maintenance routine.

All her work had fooled Kenshin… she guessed he would no longer want her to call him that… _Himura-san_, for quite awhile. She had meant to tell him. She had. She just couldn't bring herself to break the bubble of their peace together… Kama certainly had no peace any other time.

* * *

The man and boy within the dojo on the run-down street just outside Tokyo looked a little different than usual. Usually, both wore natural, traditional white training garb, but on the day in question, the giant of a muscular man was wearing a button-down shirt in a dingy, bluish gray color and a pair of brown pants, whereas the young, lithe boy was clothed in jeans and a green tee shirt. He held a small, black handgun and fired at a target fifty feet away, aiming for a point one third of a millimeter in diameter. He shot several times standing facing the target, feet planted far apart and weapon extended directly in front of himself. He then moved so he faced 90 degrees to the right of the target, aiming as if concealed around a corner, though there was open space all around him. He fired in several more positions, kneeling, lying down, and crouched as if to hide in a small space.

When the boy had fired the last bullet, he lowered the weapon and his instructor crossed to the target to examine the places the bullets had struck. He frowned. "I told you you were going too fast. Your aim was terrible."

"I will have to shoot quickly in combat, won't I?"

"Not if you want to hit anything, apparently. Come here and look."

"I hit the bullseye twenty-eight out of thirty times, shishou."

"And one time you hit the wall," the tall man answered, pointing to a spot where a bullet had indeed entered the wall.

"One time."

"You haven't hit the wall once since you were twelve years old, baka."

"I only hit it once."

"Whatever's the matter with you this time, fix it. I can't teach you anything if you're not at your best."

Kenshin braced himself for the prying his instructor normally engaged in whenever Kenshin had a particularly off day.

"You can go."

"You can't expect me not to make mistakes. I'm only human."

"But some mistakes are larger than others. Fix your problem before you come back here."

There was indistinct mumbling from Kenshin's general direction as he turned to go."

"What was that?"

"I said I don't know how you expect me to fix the fact that my girlfriend is a boy."

A hearty, rumbly bass laugh accompanied Hiko's reach for a jug of sake he kept around. "Don't you mean your boyfriend?"

"No," Kenshin shot back.

"I think you do, baka deshi of mine. You see, when two males are involved with one another, it's called-"

"Stop it!"

Hiko laughed again and seemed to set aside his teasing. "What do you mean by your girlfriend is a boy?"

"Remember Kama?"

A nod confirmed Hiko's memory of her.

"I found out yesterday she's… male."

"Yesterday?"

"Yes."

"And you've been dating this Kama how long?"

Kenshin blushed a little bit at having to answer "Two months."

"And you're just now realizing she's _male?_" Hiko nearly spewed sake through his nose.

"She hid it well, all right?" Kenshin replied through increasingly clenched teeth.

"Don't you mean, _he_ hid it well?" A fresh round of calm merriment bubbled forth.

"Goodbye," Kenshin rounded and stalked off in the direction of the door.

"Come on. What difference does it make?"

"What _difference_ does it make?" Kenshin stopped and looked suspiciously back at Hiko.

"Well, you never did seem quite as happy about that stream of girlfriends as a straight teenager should be…"

"What are you saying?"

"Forget it, deshi. I know you're straight."

"Do you?"

"All I'm saying is nothing has to change."

"Thanks a lot, shishou," he answered and exited the dojo, "thanks for nothing," he continued once he was outside.

**Author Notes**

do you peoples think hiko is OOC here? i like how much dialogue i was able to incorporate… i usually don't have thatmuch dialogue. i also like my explanation of kamatari's feelings. so tell me what you liked! or what you hated, or what could be better, or even what you think might happen or don't get. i'm not picky so long as it's about the story. tell me all those things swimming around in your brains! i know it's there! i know this chapter was shoter than usual, but the last couple were extra long, so i figured it was okay.


	10. Chapter 9: Resignation

**Review Response**

umm… no, tomoe is not a child molester, but she's not even in this story yet, so i'm confused why you mentioned her at all…

glad i explained kama's feelings well. more kama-angst in this chapter!

so glad hiko wasn't ooc, i was worried about that. sorry the dialogue was abrupt. i thought about putting stuff in between the lines as i was writing it, but it just seemed to me like it didn't need it once i looked at it a bit more. i'll have to go back and reread it.

well, it doesn't get happy for either of them just yet… and will it ever? have to wait and see!

**Only Time**

**Chapter 9: Resignation**

All the noise downstairs made it hard to think. Naga and Sei were hyped up on sugary breakfast cereal and cartoons, as per usual, and normally though it would be worthy of rolling him eyes a few times, just at this time it was not what Kenshin needed. Was it homework that so demanded silence? Was it sleep? In fact, it was three in the afternoon on a Saturday, so his homework for the weekend was already done and he had been home from his early morning session with his Shishou for hours. His Shishou certainly had a way of making his words stay with Kenshin and making him think, even when he went about it in crude and often insulting ways.

He had basically been told to consider continuing to go out with Kama, in spite of the lies and the issue of Kama's gender. His Shishou had even joked that they could both pass as girls together. Kenshin wasn't exactly bisexual, though, so he didn't see how they could keep dating. It just didn't sound romantic anymore. What could he do about that? He couldn't force himself to like her that way. He certainly couldn't pretend he did and continue their relationship the way it had been before. What choice did he have?

* * *

Ring, ring… _no way! I'm too nervous!_ Click.

Ring, ring… _he's not going to talk to me anyway, he hates me! _Click.

Ring, ring, riinnggg… rriinngg… _isn't he ever going to answer the phone? Well, I did hang up the last two times… probably thinks it's a crank call…especially since I haven't called since IT happened…_

Kama sat in her decidedly depressing room, not needing its help to feel sad. She was on the phone, listening to it ring distantly in Himura-san's house, and waiting for him to realize she wasn't going to hang up before he reached it again this time. It took him a long time to answer, she guessed because he figured whoever it was would just give up again, or that his phone was malfunctioning… or did he know it was her? It had been two weeks since the incident, and she hoped his initial shock and anger had died down a little.

"Hello." The deadpan greeting suggested perhaps he did know it was her, or maybe still suspected a crank call, and was unwilling to talk more than was required to make whomever he thought he was speaking to leave him alone.

"Hello, Himura-san, it's… it's Kamatari, and I, um, just wanted to say I'm sorry… for what happened that time in your room… I was going to tell you, really, but… I was afraid you'd… you know… stop liking me, but I guess that happened anyway…" she waited for him to say something. There was a long pause, and she was on the brink of just saying that all she wanted was to apologize and telling him her final goodbye. Just before she did, he joined the conversation.

"You lied to me, Kama… Honjou-san… you lied to me _a lot_." It stung to hear him say her name so formally, but she realized she deserved it. Then, she had used his name formally first, but only because she thought he wouldn't want her to address him familiarly anymore, and he had started to call her just Kama and then corrected himself, so maybe that meant he was just doing it because she did it first, or did it mean something else? She schooled herself to stop it. She was reading way too much into her name.

"Yes, I did." She waited. "But in all fairness, I lie to everyone about that."

"That's part of it, Honjou-san. I didn't think I was just the same as 'everyone' to you."

"You weren't!" She exclaimed, heart fluttering at the thought that maybe the secret itself wasn't what had angered him, just the fact that she'd lied… "You were special to me!" And after a shorter pause, she added, "You still are."

"Why didn't you tell me the truth?" It was so hard to read him through his end of the conversation. He was hurt, yes, and angry, but those were the obvious things… she couldn't detect any hope or any desire for their relationship to be repaired, but that didn't mean it wasn't there, and he did focus on her lying instead of her gender…

"I was afraid you'd… act like this," she answered.

"Do you think I'm overreacting?"

"No," she hurried to correct her seeming accusation, "no, you're not overreacting, I lied to you and you have every right to be angry. I knew you would be, and that's why I was afraid to tell you. I didn't want to ruin what we had." _I loved you_, she added silently. Or, did it count as love if he didn't feel the same way?

"How long did you think you could hide it? Until we had sex?" Oh, Kami, she wished she could have heard him mention having sex with her under completely different circumstances… just to know she had had a chance before he found out her secret made it hurt all the more. She digested that thought thoroughly during the silence that followed.

"I wanted to tell you before then," she explained, "but I was just afraid you'd get mad, and the longer I waited, the harder it got to think of telling you, and the madder it seemed like you would get… so I just kept putting it off."

"That's why you should have told me early on, Kama." She was back to first-name basis? Did that mean he was softening a little?

"I wanted to, Kenshin-san, but... I wanted to be close to you, and… would you have even started dating me if you had known?"

"No," he answered a little less sternly than his previous speech, "that I wouldn't have."

"See? It was the only way I could be near you, and… I have to be a guy when I'm at home, with my parents, and whenever I can… I just want to be a _girl_."

"You aren't a girl, though," he pointed out.

"Tell me about it," she sighed, not bothering to conceal her sorrow at that fact. Surprisingly, that seemed to have an effect, since she heard light, soft ripples of masculine laughter coming through the phone.

"What was that for?" She asked, beginning to giggle a little herself.

"Nothing," he answered, still smiling into the phone. "You're not a bad girl, Kama. Not bad at all."

* * *

Kama really didn't do a bad 'girl' impression. Really, though, he guessed it wasn't an act at all. Two weeks ago he couldn't have said this, or even understood it himself in his anger, but she really had it a lot harder than he did when it came to her gender issues. So as a sign of this understanding, he'd continue to call Kama 'her,' but the idea of having sex with her now was significantly less appealing. Was that homophobic of him? After all, he had been attracted to Kama for who she was, and so why should her body change that? Well, he answered himself, physical attraction was important in a sex life, even if it was secondary to personality… a good relationship of that kind couldn't really be without sexual attraction, and it just didn't exist between them any longer. Well, on Kama's part he guessed it did, but on his part, he would just have to try not to hurt her feelings too much. He did care about her feelings even though she was no longer his girlfriend.

"Does that mean…" she trailed off, and Kenshin realized she was unwilling to vocalize what she hoped his last statement might mean because she was longing for it so intensely. She didn't want to say it and then have it not be true. He guessed this was why his Shishou had told him to consider it: to make him more sensitive to her side of the issue when he did break it off. He couldn't make himself gay for her, but he could at least understand her feelings.

"It means you're a nice girl, but…" he didn't seem to want to vocalize much himself.

"You don't want to go out anymore," she finished for him. She knew. She didn't want to drag this out and make it harder on herself. He had to agree with her sentiments.

"No," he answered, choosing not to give an ambiguous answer that might make her hope falsely. Even though it was harder for him to say, he had to think of her feelings at the moment. "I still like you as a friend, though," he added, trying to take some of the sting out for both of them. He hated the idea of her thinking he disliked her because of all this, and because of the selfish anger he'd felt at first, the feeling that she had wronged him by being herself. It felt ridiculously insufficient, pathetic, even, but it was all he could offer.

"Thanks," she said sadly, both of them knowing it wasn't enough, but it was all there was. They didn't have a choice.


	11. Chapter 10: Hide Your Love Away

**Only Time**

**Chapter 10: Hide Your Love Away**

**(AN: I don't usually name my chapters after songs, but I couldn't resist. I was listening to the song just as I started to write the chapter, and it was so perfect…)**

Kama entered the school for the first time since her last conversation with Kenshin. She supposed she could call him that, since he called her by her given name on the phone… she didn't really know what form would be appropriate. That was only the first of many things she wasn't sure about when it came to him. He had told her he still wanted to be her friend, so she supposed she didn't have to avoid him as she had been the last two weeks. She had avoided him, his friends, his exes, and basically any mention of him. That had been no easy trick, him being possibly the most popular boy in school. She had avoided the stares she knew were directed at her not so much for her own sake, but because she was connected with Kenshin. She had no idea what he had told people, because they had undoubtedly asked why they were seeing him without her again. She had become something of a novelty to the upper crust elite: they wanted to know what would become of the Cinderella elevated from nonentity to girlfriend of a Sex God in nothing flat.

In any case, she had not answered anyone's questions. If her version of the story sounded different than Kenshin's, she knew who would be believed. Not that he would lie about it, but everyone's perceptions were a little different. Besides, she didn't need a zillion stories circulating about her. She was content to wait for the whole thing to blow over and go back to her life… no, she was not content with that at all, but it was the best she could hope for. She couldn't keep Kenshin, and couldn't make the gossip go away. She could only go back to her life of anonymity and loving Kenshin from afar. She had always done that, but it seemed pathetically inadequate now that she had tasted life with him up close. What choice did she have, though?

She ascended the steps, sadly resigned to her fate, but with the small favor that she did not have to avoid Kenshin. She could at least watch him from across the room without fear. He didn't hate her, so she didn't have to worry that he'd told everyone something horrible; although what could be more horrible than the truth? Would he have revealed her secret? It seemed like a mean thing for him to do, but Kama knew him well enough to tell that if someone asked him point-blank why they had broken up, he wouldn't lie. Kenshin was not a liar, and that was one of the many reasons she loved him. It might just prove to be her undoing, however. She would simply have to accept whatever happened as a result of the truth, since it was she who was the liar.

Now thoroughly depressed, Kama entered her first class, which incidentally, was also Kenshin's first class. It had been impossible to avoid him completely, since they had two classes together, but she had tried her hardest to go unnoticed and sit as far as humanly possible from him. Today was no different in that respect, but the difference was that he did indeed look in her direction this time. He had no doubt seen her every day they had been there, but chose not to acknowledge her presence. This time, however, he got up from his chosen seat and came to rest next to Kama. Her heart beat faster as he did so, having no idea what to say, or what he would say. This felt awkward beyond all reasoning to her, and Kenshin looked a bit uncomfortable as well, but managed a polite "Hello, Kama."

"H- Hello, Kenshin," she hesitated a fraction of a second, "-kun."

He glanced down, maybe a little disappointed by her use of his name, but continued. "I'm sorry," he said, "I really am."

"You don't have to be. It was my fault, really."

"Well, yes," he answered, surprising her a little. She knew it was the truth, but had expected him to sugarcoat it a bit more. "But what choice did you have?"

She felt vindicated to have him acknowledge her predicament, but it was a small consolation when she still had to see him every day knowing she had lost him because of it.

"Still," she answered, "look where it got me." She gestured with her open hand toward nothing in particular.

"I don't really have a choice in this, either, Kama," he defended.

"I don't mean that. I wouldn't expect you to lie and say you still have feelings for me. It's just, you're not the one who has to see every day who you waited years for and then lost."

She saw a look she didn't really understand, and the teacher breezed in, ending any conversation that might have continued from there.

* * *

"It's just, you're not the one who has to see every day who you waited years for and then lost."

_I lost something, too, Kama. Can you understand that?

* * *

_

It was a scant few months later, but it seemed like a lifetime. Graduation was upon them, and school was behind. At least, for Kenshin it was. Although it had been too painful to keep up much of a friendship with Kama, or any friendship really, he had paid attention to any mention of her, and had heard she was graduating with honors, bound for university. He hadn't greeted her when he saw her in the hallway, afraid of what she'd think. Each time he regretted it, and each time told himself he would call her sometime and talk, but he never had. She hadn't called him, and hadn't greeted him in the hallways either. They hadn't spoken since the time she'd told him she waited for years and then lost him. Now she was going to university and he was going into the military. There would be no greeting her in the hallway or on the street now, and there could be no calling her. The chance to repair their friendship was gone. Forever.

As she received her diploma and waved happily to her parents, Kenshin wondered if maybe it was better this way. Staying friends might have just hindered her from moving on with her life, and kept her hoping for something she could never have from him. But then… it would have been nice to have her as a friend. If things were different, it might have even been nice to… no. It was best not to think about that.

* * *

The plane idled loudly on the runway, waiting for the brightest young cadets, fresh out of basic training, to board it. They were a unit, each with a given specialization, but one of them stood out from the rest. A certain redheaded private gave Tokyo one last long, meaningful look before being hustled onto a plane whose destination was posted in large letters for all to see: California, USA.

**Author's Notes**

I know it's short, but it's loaded with promise, ne? We shall see what becomes of Kenshin in America as he begins a new chapter of his life. Part 1 is now over, and Part 2 looms before us. We will soon be seeing the Battousai, although I'm not sure if he'll actually be called that. We will also be seeing a new pairing, but it will take a little longer this time. It will be my FAVORITEST pairing, though, so it will be worth the wait.


	12. Chapter 11: Brave New World

YESSSSSSSSS! finally another chapter! i've noticed my chapters are rather short, so I'm sort of, vaguely, trying to make them longer… a little bit…

Also, I've received some anonymous reviews, which is fine, but know that you will not be getting a response if you review anonymously, because the site obviously doesn't know who you are to give me a link to reply to your account. I do generally reply to signed reviews, though, especially if you ask a question or otherwise seem to need a reply.

**Only Time**

**Chapter 11: Brave New World**

The cadets filed onto the plane, not marching in perfect unison as many units would, and not dressed to match, either. They seemed like any group of young people, possibly bound for a vacation, possibly for a visit with family, or even home from a long trip. Inconspicuous except for their number, the group of fifteen young cadets flew to America on commercial flights, passports ready and impeccably valid, as far as customs knew, and entered the country without a hitch. Everything had to be perfect, completely unnoticeable and unnoteworthy. The cadets had to blend in perfectly, because as their superior officer had told them numerous times during training, "Officially, you don't exist."

They were part of the Covert Ops Division, and thus no one was to know they were there. Their own families had not been told the nature of their work or where the cadets were going, and could not write directly to their loved ones. Their letters had to be addressed to the division's headquarters and then forwarded on to the cadets, who then directed their replies back to the headquarters to be sent to their families from there. The cadets were never to dress in traditional military garb, nor to address one another by their ranks. They were to use their names and dress in civilians' clothes at all times, and never to give the impression that they were a military unit. That would jeopardize the mission, since as far as America knew, Japan had no military presence there. As far as most of Japan knew, as well. This covert team was not merely one of spies, however. Of course, information collection was vital to their function, but that was only the surface. Their real purpose for being there lay in the cadet with the most difficult job of all: Himura.

Himura's job was not so difficult in a technical sense, if one took into account his skill. He could carry out his assignments as quickly and seamlessly as a fleeting shadow, never leaving a trace to stain the reputation of his unit. Each time a name was delivered to him, his orders clear, the owner of that name would be no more. A human being would simply disappear, as if they'd never been. It was quite simple and, in a morbid way, elegant. Yet Himura's job _was_ the most difficult.

Indeed, the cadet called Himura _knew_ his assignment would be the most difficult of all, and that was precisely why he was willing to fill it. No one else, he told himself, should have to face death daily as he would. It would not be his own death; that would be a one-time affair. He would have to face hundreds, maybe thousands, of deaths before his duty was done. It might never be done.

As the plane landed, the one called Himura took a deep breath, nervous, but outwardly calm and unnoticeable. In fact, in this country, he was even less noteworthy than in his place of origin. Lots of Americans had red hair, although not many wore it in what was, here, a very feminine style: a high ponytail. It was habit, he assumed, never thinking about why he did it. There were much more important things to worry about. As ready as he thought he could be, the man who would now be reversing his name to become Kenshin Himura in order to assimilate stood and went with the rest of his unit to claim their things before going to the places they would be living until their mission was complete.

The cadets assisted each other in finding their respective possessions, some of which were standard-issue, but they had used their own personal luggage so as to avoid the appearance of suspicious uniformity. In the efficient but still noisy shuffling of suitcases, an unremarkable "Is this yours?" was heard, but its answer was a little more noticeable.

"Hai," a cadet answered, accepting his baggage before noticing the pointed look he received from the one more authoritative man in the group. "I… I mean yes," the cadet corrected himself, chastised. After a few more stern looks, the cadet followed everyone else out to the streets, where taxis and busses waited to take the new arrivals to their destinations in the city. The unit didn't travel in a group, but split up to find their assigned homes in different parts of the city, some taking taxi cabs in groups of two or three of the same sex that would be living together, some taking busses if they had little enough baggage as to clamor onto one fairly easily.

Kenshin, the young redheaded soldier, was motioned to follow the one officer into a taxi. "Coming home or just visiting?" The driver asked conversationally, watching for an answer through the rearview mirror. Kenshin didn't know exactly what to reply, since this was no home of his, but it was far from a short visit, too. His superior replied instead, which was probably best anyway.

"Hopefully just visiting," he began, "we're here on business, and it would be best if the deal can be resolved quickly."

"Oh? What kind of deal?" The driver continued.

"Our company is hoping to make an advertising agreement with an American firm before the launch of our new product line," was the answer. Kenshin wondered if… Kogoro… it seemed so strange and wrong to be calling his superior officer by his given name, but secrecy demanded it… he wondered if Kogoro had planned this story as a cover or if he was inventing it as the conversation progressed.

"What is it you make?" The cabby persisted. Kogoro didn't look as if he were grasping for acceptable answers, however, so Kenshin tried not to let himself get nervous.

"Electronics," Kogoro answered, and the conversation was essentially over. It was an easy thing for a stranger to believe about a couple of Asian visitors. There wasn't really a next logical question, so the awkward silence of being in a car with a stranger settled in.

After a long few minutes, the car stopped outside what was to be their place of residence, and Kenshin followed Katsura-san… Kogoro, he mentally reminded himself, as far as the front doors of the apartment building. Kogoro unlocked a door and nodded goodbye to Kenshin, who began to climb the stairs looking for apartment 3B, which was to be his. It wasn't difficult to find the door with the little brass symbols "3B" on it, and he unlocked it with a key he had been provided with earlier. He took in his new apartment at a glance, hardly noticing the furnishings, the kitchen with a high counter and a few barstools, the TV and living room furniture, or the large window. One thing took his attention from all the rest. Kenshin put his luggage down right where he was in the doorway, bending down to pick up a plain sealed envelope from the floor. It was a white envelope, innocuous looking. It didn't have his name or even his apartment number on it. It was just plain white paper, concealing something he was certain he wouldn't like.

Someone must have slid it under his door, since it lay right inside on the little square of linoleum that allowed him to remove his shoes before stepping onto the clean carpet. He did so frowning at the envelope he carried to the couch. Kogoro wouldn't have put it there, since he hadn't come upstairs, but even if it were to do with orders or his work, would Kogoro have delivered it personally? It seemed to make more sense to send someone since he _was_ the ranking officer on this mission, but who would he send? The rest of the soldiers all lived in different places throughout the city, and it would be silly to call them all the way to this building just to take a memo upstairs.

Kenshin took a deep breath. Maybe the envelope didn't contain orders. Maybe it was from the caretaker of the apartment complex, something mundane about the rent or a broken air conditioning unit. Maybe it was from another tenant who wanted to be social. He couldn't really say he hoped for that last, but he knew deep down, he would rather have that than orders. He knew what his orders would be when he got them, and hadn't expected the first set so soon. He hadn't even been here five minutes. He'd barely been in the country an hour.

It was pointless to sit and speculate about what was inside when he had but to open it to find out. Kenshin took another breath, preparing for the worst. He told himself it was fine if it was orders, because the sooner he started working, the sooner he could be finished and leave this strange place. He neatly tore open the envelope, not shredding it, but cleanly removing the message inside. Unfolding it, he was surprised to find characters, instead of the English symbols he had to concentrate to understand. He read a name, a place, and a time. That was all. Not even his name, although obviously that was a security precaution. Even this sparse amount of information wasn't anything to build a murder case upon if it were found. For all any detective might know, he had written the information down upon seeing it on the news the next day so he could follow the case. No one ever need know that he hadn't simply transcribed the time and place of the politician's death after the fact, instead of personally making that information come true. Anyone who just happened upon it might not be able to read it and just disregard it, and only if he was already a suspect would anyone even think to translate it.

Placing the slip of paper back in the envelope, Kenshin resigned himself to starting his mission tonight, earlier than he had anticipated. It was for the best to get the job done quickly, though. He would wait for night, when lower visibility would be on his side, and would sneak into the building where his quarry was going to be. The politician, here to negotiate something with the Americans, would be attending a theater performance of some kind. Kenshin didn't know or care what the production was, as long as it let out when he was told it would, so he could find and follow his target. He would be in a crowd at first, so it would be highly impractical to kill him right there unless Kenshin wanted to end up in an American jail for the next twenty years or more, instead of serving his country and then returning to it. He would have to follow the man until he was alone, or perhaps in the company of only one or two others. There could not be witnesses, so Kenshin would have to get the man alone or kill those with him. He preferred the former, but it wouldn't be possible every time. He prepared for the latter, just in case.

There was no telling where the man might go after this theater thing was over. He might walk home alone, making Kenshin's job a lot easier. He might go for drinks with his wife afterward, if he had one. He might go out with someone else, eat dinner, anything. Kenshin would need to search for a little information, which wouldn't be hard with the internet, and at the very least find out what the guy looked like, plus anything else that might be useful. He would need to choose a weapon, choose attire that would allow him to blend in, and find a way there. He had been provided with a car, but would that be too easy to trace? There were so many decisions to be made, and there was a lot of work to do. His job would take all of his skill, and Kenshin was planning on using it to its fullest extent.


	13. Chapter 12

Here is chapter 12, freshly back from my beta, SKenshingumi!

**Only Time**

**Part 2**

**Chapter 12**

So much black. It was practical, and Kenshin couldn't dispute its usefulness, but it was so morbid. It was entirely too appropriate for this task. It was depressing, he noted for the fiftieth time on the drive toward the posh theater where he would find his target. He didn't need anything to depress him further. The sleek, black automobile that slithered through the night like a viper on the hunt depressed him, his own black vesture that made him look like some kind of goth depressed him, and the black, inky darkness so conducive to his job depressed him, combining to produce a heavy, sick feeling in the pit of his stomach that he recognized as dread.

He shouldn't feel this. He shouldn't be nervous. He was well-prepared. More than adequate training had led up to this. It would be over quickly, and then he could go back to the apartment. He shouldn't be sad inside, either, he should be excited. He should be glad. This was his childhood dream, putting his own life in danger so that others like his mother and father, like his sister, like his twin little brothers, would not have to. He was doing the world a lot of good. He should be glad.

That sentiment, though his mind thoroughly embraced it, somehow didn't reach his heart. His heart held onto the cold, dead feeling that wrapped itself up in a tight, dense ball inside him. His heart knew he would hate this, even if his mind knew it was for the best.

Kenshin calmly pressed the gas pedal, taking himself closer by the second to someone else's death. The happily buzzing California city contrasted so starkly, it seemed, with his private sphere of darkness, that the young recruit wondered if he would be noticed. There were other black cars, many as expensive-looking as his, with darkened windows like his, that reflected the lights of the city as white-hot streaks like his car did. Those vehicles, though, had probably not been chosen for their ability to blend into the night like his, their quiet engines and flat, empty color that allowed them to disappear with their passengers after deeds that disappeared just as fully.

Kenshin pushed the macabre thoughts from his head and attempted to focus. Extensive martial arts training had taught him nothing if not focus. He slowed his breathing, wishing he could close his eyes and meditate while driving. He did the best he could do without losing concentration on the road. It worked, to an extent. He was able to be calm, easing the knots in his insides somewhat. As he turned onto the street where he would find the theater, his mind was as centered and unclouded as it could have been, but the weight in his stomach lurched disturbingly nevertheless as he exited the car and walked toward the brightly lit building. The bright light made sharply defined, dark shadows, to which people coming out of the dark interior would be nearly blinded before venturing into the night. It was convenient, and Kenshin simply watched from the darkness.

It seemed he was a little early, which was how he had planned it. For a little bit, nothing happened except what might have been a drug deal and an usher coming out to sweep the pavement. It was quiet, and occasionally he heard a bit from inside, a loud spoken line, and, a time or two, singing. A musical. His quarry had come to see a musical.

He clipped that train of thought off right there. It wasn't leading to any useful information, only information that would make him start to feel sorry for the man inside, and feeling sorry was not part of his job. If anything, it was a liability.

It wasn't very long before people started spilling out the doors like so many brightly colored jewels, and Kenshin had to start scanning the crowd for his target. He couldn't see very well through the thick crowd from the ground, so he jumped up a little ways, sparing a step for a low concrete wall behind which were decorative plants, a step for the fire escape off to the side of the building, and he was on the roof. He half-knelt, poised to spring in whatever direction the doomed politician chose, still combing through the crowd visually. Kenshin started to think that he had missed the man's passing in the moment he had taken to jump to the rooftop, because after a few minutes he still hadn't seen him and fewer people were coming out.

Would it be a waste of time to wait here, hoping the man he searched for was a straggler while he might have left minutes ago, or would it be more of a waste to try and find him elsewhere when he might still be here? Kenshin was faced with a decision, his features tightened for a second, and he decided to continue to wait. If the man had already gone, he could have gone in any direction, by car or foot, and it would be nearly impossible to find him. If that were the case, Kenshin had already failed.

He waited, growing more nervous by degrees. He had to admit a small part of him wished the man _had_ already left, but he pushed that part to the side. If it weren't tonight, it would have to be another night, and delaying wouldn't help matters. The man needed to die. It was that simple. Just because his assassin was green was no reason the people of the world should have to endure his presence any longer. He was a threat to the well-being of Japan, and possibly of even more people than that, if his presence in America was any indication. If he were not such a threat, Kenshin would not have been assigned to kill him, and that was all there was to it. His death was necessary and delaying it because of a reluctant assassin was unacceptable. Said assassin simply could not be reluctant. He would not allow himself to be.

The politician whose picture Kenshin had sought out from the internet finally appeared as a small black dot with arms, from Kenshin's overhead view. The man gestured as he spoke, slowly walking out in a small group of other black dots and a couple of blond ones. Since there weren't as many people to block his view by this time, Kenshin jumped back down to his former position, taking even more care to be soundless since now there was no crowd to cover any slight noises he might make. He had to skip the rickety fire escape because it would unavoidably rattle with his weight, so he jumped straight into the plants behind the small concrete wall he had earlier used as a springboard. The soft dirt made it easier to step quietly, although he had to be careful not to leave footprints in it, and he made his way back to where he had stood before the musical had let out.

He began to be wary of the group the stranger was apparently traveling with, but his shoulders relaxed a little when his target bowed, politely ending the discussion and bidding the others goodbye. The others bowed as well, but a couple of them who didn't appear Asian did so rather stiffly, probably feeling silly following the unfamiliar custom. He couldn't blame them; _he_ would probably feel strange the first time an American expected him to shake hands. The politician set to die walked away with one woman, the rest crossing the street to Kenshin's right. That was good. He'd feared some of them might be bodyguards. The politician and the woman who was probably his wife were walking away from Kenshin, and he gave chase, ghosting across the brightly lit area in front of the building so quickly that even if someone had been there, they probably wouldn't have seen him.

It was easy to follow the couple, and there was sure to be an opportunity to move in for the kill soon. They were on a relatively busy street, but they were turning onto a smaller one. Should he kill them both now, or wait to see if the couple would separate? There didn't seem to be much chance of it if they were indeed married, since they probably lived together, and close by if they were walking instead of driving. He didn't have time to wait for that distant hope. He would have to kill them both.

There were still too many passersby to do it right then, so he might actually have to follow them into their home to complete the job. He didn't like the idea of it. Someone's home should be their sanctuary; the place for acts like this one was a dark alley, not a home. If that were what it took, however, that was what Kenshin would do. There was no stopping him now that his quarry was within sight.

On the steps up to their door, however, the woman stumbled a little and bent down to take off her broken high heel shoe. She waved her husband on, and he took a couple more steps to unlock the door while she slipped off her shoe, inspecting both it and the tear it had made in her dress. She frowned down at it for a moment, giving Kenshin a small interval in which to think. Was there some way she could be distracted so he wouldn't have to kill her, too?

He had an idea, and looked down for something. Finding the perfect tool, a rock small enough to throw without drawing attention, but big enough to make a noise when it hit something. He threw it and it passed behind her, hitting the house next door. The wife of an important politician, especially one that didn't have a bodyguard tonight, knew enough to be suspicious, and went to investigate the noise. Perhaps she was armed; she went in the direction of the noise despite that she probably thought there was an assassin there. That or she really didn't believe there was anything there and it was habit to check.

As she disappeared around the corner of the house, Kenshin stood up properly and came out of the bushes. It was hardly a beat before the man came out calling in Japanese "Asa-chan? Where are you?" and one more beat before he saw someone that was definitely not his Asa-chan.

"I don't have anything against you personally, but for the good of the people, you have to die." The man did, very quickly. Kenshin dislodged his knife from the body, hearing the woman called Asa run back toward him to investigate yet another noise made by him. That was his cue to be gone before she either saw him or screamed.

He cursed softly at the need to return to the theater in order to retrieve his car, but it was too late to fix that now. He took a different route back, laboriously complicating it with twists, turns, and more rooftops in case he were being followed, although he couldn't detect anyone doing so. When Kenshin arrived at his vehicle once again, he ceased attempting to hide and walked right up to it, knowing that no matter how unnoticeable he himself might be, the car would not be nearly so quiet or invisible. Now shooting for nondescript rather than stealthy, he simply unlocked the driver's side door with minimal jingling of keys and drove away like a straggling theater patron.

Despite the temptation to take the shortest way back, Kenshin drove in seemingly lazy, aimless circles around town for a bit like a bored college student might, and there were indeed a lot of bored college students with which to blend in. After what seemed like enough stalling, he turned toward the apartment in which he was staying for the duration of the mission in America. He parked in the same spot he'd first found the car, behind the apartment building in the spot marked "3B" in blocky, yellow English symbols. He entered through a back door and found the elevator, leaning against the walls of it despite not having exerted himself much. When he reached his floor, he saw a woman in the hallway and hoped fervently that she wouldn't try to talk to him. He was disappointed in that hope.

"Hey, I've never seen you before. You take 3B?" She asked, one hip jutting out as she relaxed her posture, clearly hoping for more of a response than he planned to give.

"Yes," he replied, looking at her, but not stopping.

"My name's Melinda. I'm across the hall in 3E." She waited for him to supply his name, which he did with no wasted words. "See ya round," she finished, a little disappointed, and went into the apartment she'd said was hers. Kenshin didn't want to make an enemy, but thought maybe it was best not to be too friendly with the neighbors, either. In any case, she probably thought he was coming home from a long day of work, which he sort of was, and thus could understand his lack of energy. She shouldn't be too offended by that.

He reached the relative sanctuary of apartment 3B, locking the door behind him to shut out disturbances. He shed the flexible black shoes he'd worn, leaving them for the moment to lay next to the shoes he'd taken off when he first arrived. He moved straight toward the back of the apartment, ridding himself of the black shirt he so disliked as he went. He dropped a neat pile of clothes on the bathroom floor as he stepped into the shower, his hair tie being the last thing to be cast aside before the curtain closed with a metallic scrape of curtain hooks and water started pouring, as hot as it would go.

A full thirty minutes later, Kenshin reappeared from the humid bathroom carrying a wad of black cloth and made his way to the bedroom, throwing his burden in a place he thought would help him remember to wash it later. He didn't really want to go to sleep yet, in part because wet hair was highly uncomfortable in bed, so he searched for something else to wear, soon coming upon his favorite pair of jeans. They were just what he needed at the moment: them and a cup of coffee.

He sat down a few minutes later with precisely those two things, sinking into the cushioned chair near the huge window that was the focal point of his living room. Kenshin watched the stars, entering a somewhat meditative state he'd been unable to achieve to his satisfaction earlier. He hadn't been in a contemplative mood then, but as he sat there stargazing, he found he was in such a mood. He also noticed the building-shaped gaps in the stars, reflecting on the new place he had found himself in when only hours ago, he had still been in Tokyo. Although it was indeed many hours away, Tokyo seemed like it was on another planet now. It seemed like years since he'd seen it.

He didn't know how long he sat there before the doorbell rang. Putting his coffee down, he padded over to the door, looking out the peephole even though he knew perfectly well who stood on the other side. Kogoro didn't have his ki masked, and Kenshin took that as an amiable sign. He opened the door and stood aside, allowing his superior to step in. "Can I offer you coffee, Sir?" He asked in English, turning toward the small kitchen.

"Please," Kogoro answered, slipping easily into their mother tongue. Did that mean this was a social call?

Bringing an empty cup and the coffee pot to serve Kogoro and warm up his own portion, Kenshin followed his guest into the living room, sitting and filling both cups with the steaming black liquid. He waited for the other man to speak, suspecting but not sure of the reason for the visit. Kogoro was in no hurry, and took a moment to enjoy the first sip of coffee before beginning the conversation. "How do you feel, Kenshin?"

Knowing exactly what was meant by that, he replied, "I'm fine. It wasn't as horrible as I thought." He stared at his reflection in his coffee cup, reluctant to meet the officer's eyes despite the truth of his statement. "I only had to kill the one man. His wife didn't see me."

"That's good, Kenshin," Kogoro inclined his head, acknowledging Kenshin's good fortune. "I hope it can be like that often for you." Kogoro wasn't so reluctant to look Kenshin in the face, silently urging him to look up.

There was a pause. The two men sipped their coffee, neither knowing exactly what to say. Kogoro wanted to ask if Kenshin regretted his decision to join the unit, but refrained. He probably didn't know anyway. The redhead's damp hair mostly covered his face, but that in itself was something of a sign. Kenshin knew how to hide anything he damned well wanted to hide, and no amount of prying would get it out of him. Should he be left alone? He seemed pensive, but not necessarily depressed. Maybe he could best work it out for himself, but… maybe not.

"Thank you."

After another pause, Kogoro saw the need to change method somewhat. "Kenshin, look at me," he said softly, but it was a command nonetheless. The slightly younger man obeyed. "Right now, I'm not your superior officer. I'm not even your coworker. I'm just asking. How do you feel?"

"I've been better," Kenshin promptly averted his eyes again once Kogoro stopped talking. He paused, flexing his jaw in the silence. "He went to see a musical."

"I know," Kogoro answered softly, contemplating telling Kenshin the title of the production, but deciding that would make matters worse, not better. "Does that change things?"

"No," Kenshin answered, for once without pause. "He was still hurting Japan."

"Yes, he was," Kogoro nodded. "But does it change anything in you?" Red hair fell back away from Kenshin's face as he looked up, seeming to search for the answer.

"No. I don't think so."

"Good." Kogoro answered, satisfied. He wasn't going to get many words out of Kenshin tonight, but he hadn't expected to. In a state like this, he wouldn't be inclined to conversation, but Kogoro had found what he needed to know. Despite clearly being shaken, Kenshin was all right. It was true that if he weren't, their mission would fail and a lot of people would be let down, and he was glad for that reason, but he really did care for the boy's well-being also. He didn't want to think about which of those two things was the biggest reason, because he knew which it would be. "You should get some sleep," he said, setting his coffee down and beginning to leave.

"Hai, Kogoro-san," Kenshin replied, breaking the melancholy spell that had been like a film over the apartment by standing up and showing his superior out. He almost wished Kogoro could stay longer, in spite of the depressing conversation they were having, but knew that he did indeed need sleep. Shutting the door, more thoroughly alone than he could remember being, Kenshin took the coffee cups to the sink and silently, slowly walked through his new apartment turning off all the lights. When he reached the bedroom, he paused in the doorway. He stood a long moment and stared at the comfortable, fluffy white pillows and blankets. Just like clouds. He just looked away and walked back out of the room, through the dark house and out to the living room. Curling up on a chair in the starlight that still floated in through the picture window, Kenshin concluded his first day in America and his first real day as a soldier.


	14. Chapter 13

If any artists are reading this, I think the image of Kenshin curled up in a chair in his favorite jeans with a cup of coffee would be an adorable subject for a fan art… but don't make it too adorable, because he's depressed… anyhoo, what makes me think anybody wants to do a fan art of my fic? i've never had a fan art before, so if someone wants to it'd be the coolest.

**Only Time**

**Part 2**

**Chapter 13**

**by the sacred night, beta: Skenshingumi**

It was still dark. Kenshin awoke to the dim light that coursed in through the window, in which all the furnishings of the apartment, the city outside, and even his fiery red hair looked grayish. Searching out the first piece of information he felt the need to know, Kenshin looked to the DVD player sitting on a shelf beneath the TV. The lime-green numbers declared that it was 4:07 am. He shifted around some, already feeling the soreness from sleeping in such an unnatural position, trying to find a more comfortable way to sleep on the chair. Perhaps it had been a bad idea to sleep like this; sore muscles might put a crimp in his ability to be ready for an assignment at a moment's notice. He just groaned and curled into a tighter ball in the chair, attempting to shut out even the starlight from his vision.

That strategy didn't work long. He pushed himself up off the chair at 6 am, groggily searching out another cup of coffee. One was found, and he curled up with it in the same chair where he'd had coffee the previous night with Kogoro and where he had slept. This time, his hair was messy from sleep, his body felt heavy, and his eyes hurt from the light he'd had to turn on. Much like he had right before Kogoro had come, he sat with his coffee, still in his jeans, trying not to be depressed. His mind wandered, and kept wandering back to the man who had seen a musical the night before. That man didn't exist anymore. He was probably already on an autopsy table somewhere. Kenshin sighed and silently hoped the man's next life would be better. He might have prayed if he thought his prayers would count for anything, but as it was, he didn't see how he had any right to pray at all.

The thought occurred to Kenshin that he would be sitting in this chair moping all day if he didn't get up and do something, but he didn't really have any plans. If he had an assignment tonight, it wouldn't take all day to prepare for it, and he doubted he would have anything before tonight. Daylight wasn't the best condition for his job. He looked over at the space in front of the door where his two pairs of shoes still lay, and there was nothing else there. He hadn't been called or issued orders in any other way that he knew of. Glancing at the phone and answering machine, he saw that he had no messages, as expected.

As he pondered his lack of occupation, Kenshin's stomach made it known that he had not eaten in awhile. In fact, it reminded him in the form of a noisy growl, he had ingested nothing but coffee since his arrival in America the day before. Now he was presented with something of a problem. Knowing he had no food in his refrigerator, since it was hardly practical to carry those types of things on an airplane, he realized his only option was to go to a restaurant. He couldn't eat every meal in restaurants, however, so afterward he was going to have to obtain some groceries to bring home. What a bizarrely normal way to spend the day after he had so thoroughly ceased to be anything resembling normal.

He disposed of his coffee and decided a little cleaning up was in order before leaving. He washed all three of the coffee cups that had been used since he had moved in, and finally put away the two pairs of shoes that had been sitting next to the door all night. The possibility of letting the house get dirty had made him feel worse, but cleaning it up, it turned out, didn't make him feel any better. He proceeded to the bathroom to clean himself up a little, next. The image in the mirror wasn't exactly charming; it had tangled hair, morning gunk in the corners of its eyes, and lines on its skin from sleeping in a chair instead of a bed. Kenshin set about brushing his hair, brushing his teeth, and all those little things that make a person clean, ending with getting in the shower. Surprisingly, it did have some effect on him. He came out alert, if still somber, with freshly combed, washed locks falling limply around his face, and flushed pink skin from the heat and the scrubbing. His body felt fresh and good, even if his mind still felt… well, like his dirty, stiff body had earlier this morning.

He was ready to go, he supposed. It was warm out, so he just went without a jacket and walked out, realizing for the first time that he really didn't know where anything was in the city, except… the theater. Even that he had found only with the aid of online directions. He tried to remember whether he had passed any restaurants on the way. He couldn't recall. Was he more likely to get lost on foot or in the car? Either way he stood to waste a considerable amount of time, but in the car he would also waste gas, and on foot he shouldn't get too far away from the apartment. He decided to walk.

There were other apartment buildings, shops, and even a park on the street where he lived, he discovered. Whenever another street crossed his, he would look down it to see if it looked promising, but so far, he was still on his own street. He didn't hold out much hope of finding any familiar food, since he would be lucky to find any restaurant within walking distance. An authentic Japanese restaurant open at this hour and located on this street might be a little too much to hope for. He would just have to settle for what passed for breakfast at McDonald's: a sausage and egg sandwich with, what else, more coffee.

Returning home a couple of hours later with a full stomach, three bags of groceries, and a little more knowledge of the city, Kenshin felt a little worse than when he'd gotten out of the shower. Having to go out and about so much alone, and then not finding anything he really wanted but having to eat anyway, had not done his spirits any good. There was still no envelope in front of the door and there were no messages on the answering machine. He had nothing to do but methodically put away his purchases and then… nothing. They were put away in a few minutes, everything neatly stacked in cabinets or in the refrigerator, and still no orders or communication of any kind from his unit.

It occurred to him to check his mailbox, since even though his previous orders had been slid under the door, one never knew. Besides, he didn't actually know where his mailbox was, and that seemed like an important bit of information to have. He went in search, assuming the ones for his floor would either be near the elevator or, more likely, the ones for the entire building would be near the doors to the outside, so the mail carriers wouldn't have to waste a lot of time on each building.

They were indeed near the doors. He had seen them before but not really noticed them. He pulled the tiny key out of his pocket, where it was on a key ring with the only three other keys he owned: the key to his apartment door, the key to his car, and the key to a trunk stowed in his bedroom containing… work-related things, which for him, meant things which ought to be kept locked up. He opened the door with his apartment number on it and pulled out two parcels. There was a postcard advertising a local cable company which he would throw away when he reached his apartment, and a letter with his name on it. The last one hadn't borne his name… he wondered why it wouldn't be consistent, but other than that, it was free of any unnecessary markings, much like the previous envelope had been. He thought it best not to open it where he was, so he took it and the cable company ad up to his apartment to deal with them there.

Junk mail deposited in the trash, he opened the communiqué he assumed to be from Kogoro-san only to find something entirely different. It wasn't a Spartan, brusque note barking a time, place, and name like he expected. There was another envelope inside the first, addressed the Covert Operations Headquarters with his family's address in Tokyo as the return address. It was an actual letter, from… his mother. It was really soon to be getting one, but it was perfect timing, really. He needed something to lift his mood. He started to read about Akane, Naga, and Sei preparing to start school again, and Naga having the flu, but it was probably nothing to worry about, one of his aunts getting married at age 35, and other bits of family news. It seemed like things were going well in his absence, which was nice. The last paragraph, however innocently intended, however, sent him back into the dark mood he had been in before he had begun. It inquired whether he liked the new place he had been sent, since they didn't know where he was and had been instructed not to ask, and if he was making new friends, that sort of thing. He hated to imagine the look on his mother's face if he answered honestly.

He picked up a pen and began to answer in the best tactful way he knew, telling her about the city in a non-identifying way, only noting that it was smaller than Tokyo, but still a large city and that it was warm. He told her that he had begun his work, but thankfully she knew he was not allowed to tell her exactly what kind of work that was. If he'd had to tell her _that_, well, he wanted to imagine her reaction even less than he had when he first opened the letter. Surely one expected a certain amount of killing to take place wherever the military was involved, but… still, he felt it was best to leave it out, since she wouldn't want to think about that aspect of his job, or about the fact that it was his _entire_ job, any more than he had. Best to let her think of it euphemistically as "serving their country" instead of giving her details that would only disturb her.

He mentioned that he was working with a friend from high school, since he could thereby avoid saying that he had failed to have a conversation unrelated to work with anyone since he'd arrived, Kogoro included. He pretty much managed to leave out anything that could have described his actual state of affairs, making it seem like he was having a lovely time in a warm city with a friend he'd known for years. He put down the pen feeling like a liar despite the fact that he had technically made only true statements, deciding to leave it for the time being and send it later, once he'd looked it over a few times. Something didn't sit right about sending such a thing to his family, who would believe every word and assume nothing further. He almost crumpled it up right then, but he put it back down on the table and left it. If he didn't send this, something similar would have to take its place; there was no way he could tell the truth in good conscience any more than he could lie.

He paced a little, hoping something else would happen to occupy his mind. Even though he still had an overhanging cloud of sadness following him, it seemed like if his mind were allowed to drift, it would drift right back to the only place that could make it feel worse. After a few seconds of pacing, he turned abruptly and went to the TV. He flipped it on, and tried to concentrate. It was a game show. He changed the channels through soap operas, talk shows, movies, and a million other things that couldn't hold his attention. The English words were hard to follow anyway. He gave up after a few minutes. He tried a book; it was better than any of the shows he had come across, but it was so easy just to stare at the page and not read, letting his eyes go out of focus and staring into space, mind wandering back, once again, to someone who wasn't in the world anymore.

He went to the window. It was huge; he had stared out it through many of the past twenty-four hours. At the moment, it showed him a very serene-looking view. Puffy, white clouds were floating happily by, over the city all washed in sunshine and warmth. He turned away from it.

* * *

Kogoro was surprised his phone was ringing, since not a great deal had really started to happen yet with the unit's endeavors in America, but he answered it, since it might be important. "Hello?"

"Kogoro-san?" Himura's voice? Why on Earth would he call? He sounded kind of worried…

"Kenshin? Is something wrong?" It had to be that. Somehow he didn't think his subordinate was making a social call.

"Yes, Kogoro-san, I think something happened to my orders. They haven't arrived yet." Oh, for Kami's sake… only Himura would be worried that he _hadn't_ received orders on a Friday night.

"Oh, no, it's fine. I don't have anything for you tonight. Aren't you glad?" He smiled, relieved that nothing was amiss and happy to be able to deliver a piece of good news to someone who needed it.

"Nothing?" And only Himura would be disappointed about it.

"No, Kenshin, there's not a lot going on yet."

"So… nothing happened?"

"Nothing happened." Kogoro made an exasperated noise, not sure if this was funny or disturbing.

"All right."

"Is that all?"

"Yes, Kogoro-san. I'm sorry to have bothered you."

Kogoro rolled his eyes. "Don't be sorry, you thought there was a problem. You should come to me when there's a problem. No harm done." He waited, but there was no reply. "All right, Kenshin, talk to you later."

"Goodbye, Kogoro-san."

"Goodbye, Kenshin."

What a weird kid. He remembered him being quite upset after his first assignment, so at first glance it seemed as if he'd be relieved that he didn't have to do it again, but Kogoro could read between the lines a bit, now that his first assumption had been proven so sadly incorrect. Kenshin needed to keep busy to avoid thinking about things too deeply, for one, but he also wouldn't have joined the unit in the first place if this wasn't important to him. He needed to feel like he was accomplishing something, or else his deed was worse in his mind for being utterly pointless. Despite how much Kogoro and everyone else wanted to finish their mission quickly, he had no doubt that Himura desired that more than any of them right now. Maybe he could find something for the boy to do, but he had already told him there was nothing. He didn't want to rescind that, in case maybe the boy found a more pleasant way to spend the evening.

* * *

"Goodbye, Kenshin." He hung up, totally lost, speechless. How could he not have any orders? It just… wasn't supposed to work like that. He was supposed to have an assignment so the unit could accomplish their mission. He wasn't supposed to stay home doing nothing all evening. He guessed he didn't have to stay home, but he wasn't supposed to be going out for fun, either, he was supposed to be _working_. He doubted he would have fun even if he went out, though, and just as well, since he still didn't know where he would go in this city anyway.

Reassured that there was no problem with his orders and given a free evening, he began to wonder what he would do. He had had all day free, and where had that gotten him? He took a few slow, aimless steps and finally just flopped down on the couch, it being the nearest piece of furniture, not bothering to unhook his left knee from the arm or to hoist his right leg onto the couch at all. He lay there in the waning daylight with no idea about anything.

* * *

Kogoro's phone rang for the second time that evening. This time, it was expected and right on time. "Hello?"

"Kogoro-chan, I'm here," a pretty, feminine voice began. How he had missed that voice.

"I'll be there soon," he answered with a warmer smile than he had had for Himura-san. That smile had been laced with worry, but Ikumatsu could bring out the smiles from the deepest part of his heart.

"Do I have time to get coffee?" Her cell picked up the noise of the terminal, and he could picture her in the same place he'd been the previous day, stretching her pretty white neck to see over the crowd.

"I'll join you when I get there."

"All right, I'll see you then."

"See you then." Both hung up and Kogoro headed to the airport.

A few minutes later, Kogoro was back at the airport where he had arrived in America the previous day, looking for an establishment that sold coffee, for that was where he would find Ikumatsu. After a few uncomfortable moments in the smothering crowd, he found her sitting alone at just such an establishment. He felt warm inside when she turned and saw him. Her face lit up, and she smiled and waved. She had the most beautiful smile, especially when it was directed at him. He hurried over to the small table for two, all thoughts of the miserable redheaded recruit gone like so much snow in springtime.

* * *

In an apartment a couple of floors up from the one that housed the reunited couple, there was a young man alone. He was asleep, but it was clearly not a peaceful sleep. He was still lying on the couch, one leg still dangling onto the floor and the other draped over the arm of the couch, still fully clothed, and still wearing the topknot that would probably cause him to wake up with a headache. The feeble light from the giant curtainless window fell over the frown he wore in his sleep, and would wear many more nights when he would find places other than his bed to sleep. Over the days, weeks, and months he continued to serve his country, his frown would gradually deepen, his nightly coffee would turn to alcohol, and his life, like his wardrobe, would become steadily blacker.

**Author's Notes:**

Did the whole time passing feel get across at the end? I'm going to be skipping a bit of time here, and I didn't want it to be confusing when the next chapter begins 6 months after this one ended, so I was trying to set up in advance the idea that time is passing without us… maybe it won't be evident whether it worked until you read the next chapter… I dunno.

Another question: What type of alcohol would Kenshin drink? Sake is the obvious answer, but I kinda think it would be hard to find good sake in the USA, or at least good sake that doesn't cost a fortune… but I don't really know much about alcohol since I don't drink… plus I don't think they have sake in bars in the USA, if anything you'd have to buy it & keep it at your house I'd think… so what other type would he drink if he were at a bar? Beer doesn't seem right to me… i guess i picture him drinking something a little more classy, if that makes sense, but still not unmasculine… plus it would have to be something pretty strong to chase away the feeling that you just killed someone… so I'm kinda leaning toward vodka, but I dunno. Thoughts? This is actually going to come into the story, so people who drink or who know more than I do about alcohol, input is appreciated!


	15. Chapter 14

**Author's note/Warning:** Tomoe is going to seem super OOC at first, but I promise I'm not bashing her. This is my actual interpretation of what she might be like if she grew up in the circumstances I have put her in. I really do love her, honest, so bear with me and know it will make sense eventually. In the canon timeline, I felt she used the stereotypes of her culture to hide who she really was, and she does the same thing here, only the stereotypes are different. In 21st century America, she would have to employ different methods to make herself blend in enough to cover up, since of course being a proper Japanese lady would definitely… NOT be a way to blend in and throw attention off her real self. So please, comments are fine, but no flames on this subject; you have been warned.

And to the reader who wanted an image of Kenshin angsting with a half-empty bottle... would you settle for a half-empty glass?

**Only Time**

**Part 2**

**Chapter 14**

**by the sacred night, beta: Skenshingumi**

They had all died so easily. They were just... gone. They weren't like some others, who pleaded for their lives, or who tried to run... albeit always unsuccessfully. They hadn't even put up a resistance. It was curious, deeply curious, and he told himself that was all. He couldn't conceive of it. Even as much as he might now deserve, or maybe even... no, he could never _want_ death, that was different than deserving it... he could never be indifferent to it. Even though he might have appeared to them that way... even though to all appearances, he was indifferent to their deaths and to the possibility of his own... he found himself directing the ominously silent vehicle toward a place he'd only been a time or two, a place to wash away their deaths. No one... no one that is, except probably his commanding officer and one other person in the world, a man he had burnt the bridge to back in Japan, would have seen anything but indifference in the way he calmly drove in a seemingly lazy search for such a place.

It hadn't been long since he'd started drinking, and he hadn't done it that many times. He had come here because, truthfully, he didn't want to drink alone. It just seemed so... so utterly pathetic when he pictured himself nursing a bottle in his tiny, unadorned apartment. He couldn't imagine something like that doing anything but making him feel even worse. So he came here.

It could be a little annoying at times being hit upon by strangers, many of whom mistook him at first glance for a woman, but by being as antisocial as he felt instead of trying to be polite, he learned he could keep most of them from coming too close. It was a service to them, really; they had no idea what they'd be getting themselves into if they actually got involved with him. Despite the attention one was bound to receive in a place designed for meeting other single people, he found it a decent enough setting, and strangers were better than an empty apartment.

He parked his car and walked slowly toward the door where he would have to present his driver's license to prove to the disbelieving employee that yes, he was over eighteen and yes, the license was authentic. He entered without any real problem and approached the bar, prepared to be antisocial and drink in a place where he was _technically_ not alone.

* * *

"Would you _look_ at that redhead over at the bar?"

"Why is she even here? She's not talking to anyone or anything... ugh, and that black outfit... eww," was the reply.

"Yeah, and would you _look_ at her _hair?_ A _ponytail!_"

"No wonder no one's asked her to dance..."

"Wait," one member of the tipsy group began to squint. "I think it might be a... a _man_," she pronounced, scrunching up her nose in either disgust or confusion, it wasn't apparent which.

"Oh, come on, she's not _that_ bad looking... that hair would actually be pretty if she left it down... and a little makeup, some color in her wardrobe..."

"No, I'm serious, guys, it's a man. He's actually kinda cute."

"No _way_ is that a man."

"Get over here and look from this angle. I swear it's a guy," the dissenter waved the others over toward her to stare and speculate.

"Hey, you might be right... still kinda looks like it could go either way, though."

"You're crazy. That is such a man."

"Ooooo, _such_ a man... I think someone's looking a little too closely..."

The one who had been accused of looking too closely simply quirked an eyebrow, neither confirming nor denying her friend's suspicion.

"Go talk to him, Tomoe, he's wide open!" The friend who had commanded her to accost the lone gentleman pronounced her name atrociously wrong, but since Tomoe herself barely knew the correct pronunciation, she let it slide as always. Several of the girls pushed her from behind, urging her toward the unsuspecting redhead that they had apparently decided was in fact a man.

When she found herself two feet from the object of her shameless ogling, she switched into flirt mode. "Hi," she began, only to be met with a bored look that fairly screamed "go away quickly." She was not to be deterred, however. "Can I join you?" She asked even though she had already deposited her short-skirted behind on the seat next to his. She noticed upon looking at this closer range that, in spite of his puzzling hair color and seemingly... what were they, _yellow_ eyes... that he was, like herself, Asian.

"Do I have a choice?" He inquired, not looking at her. She now noticed that, unlike herself, he had an accent, although she didn't know from where with any more specificity than "Asian."

"Nope," she answered brightly. "So how come you're not out there?" She indicated the dancing crowd with a jerk of her head.

He actually looked in the direction she spoke of, which was a little more than she'd expected. "I don't dance," he answered as if that much were not obvious.

"Why not? I bet you'd be a good dancer... hey, at least you're not white, right?" She smiled and swiveled in her seat to bump against his side to punctuate her joke, but both the joke and the cleverly maneuvered bump appeared to be lost on him. "Seriously, come dance with me. I'm going to bug you until you do," she smiled expectantly, but he made no move to get up.

"Umm, no thanks," was his only reply.

"Come on," she pleaded, placing her right hand strategically on his denim-sheathed leg, only to have an experience that she had never had before. He pulled it away.

"Don't," he said distractedly. She had no idea what to say to that. That move always worked... always.

She got up and disappeared back into the crowd, slightly miffed, but not knowing what else to do at that point. She would get him, though, mark her words.

* * *

The girl finally went away, leaving Kenshin once again to drink, attempting to use the strong flavor of scotch to wash away the taste of the salty life he had spilled from someone so recently. He was unsuccessful, since neither the flavor nor the alcohol made the difference he'd hoped, but it didn't stop him from trying.

He drank slowly, not wanting to follow the example of most of the patrons and actually get drunk. He was alone and therefore had to drive back to his apartment, for one thing, but also, he didn't want to do anything stupid. He was in a precarious position in so many ways, and it might not take much to do irreparable damage. Besides, he wasn't that big, so it wouldn't take much to get him more drunk than he wanted to be. He had to be careful. Besides... he doubted by this point that it would help anyway.

If he had felt empty when he had come in, it seemed he became emptier as his glass did the same. He'd been silly to think this would help. If it was possible, he felt worse than when he had come in. No amount of alcohol could be sufficient to change what had already happened, and nothing short of that could improve his mood or take away the hollowness he felt. He sat alone with his drink, head hanging forward so that on one side, red strands from his topknot fell over his shoulder and almost brushed the bar inside the triangle of wood sectioned off by his forearms on either side of his half-empty glass. Any sensations registered by his body were felt only distantly, through a blanket of despair thinly aided by alcohol.

He was just on the point of giving up and going back to the apartment when the girl who'd tried to get him to dance came into view again. She was much more drunk than she had been. A man who seemed considerably more in control was following her, despite her nervous glances in his direction and continual staggering steps away from him. She came to rest a few seat away from Kenshin and attempted to order a drink, but even the bartender appeared to know better than to give her more alcohol.

The man predictably went up behind her, reaching around her. He didn't simply put his arm around her as Kenshin expected he would, but placed a glass of clear liquid there. One might have hoped it was water, to help her sober up a little, but it most likely wasn't. As she took the drink without regard to its source, a bad feeling brewed in the pit of Kenshin's stomach. He went closer, monitoring the situation in case that bad feeling was proven right. The man just grinned and waited, still attempting to touch her at times, but her drunken attempts to shoo him away were not met with a great deal of resistance. The bad feeling intensified.

"Is this man bothering you?" He asked when she once again had to push the grinning man's hands away. She turned to look at Kenshin when he spoke, and it took her a minute, but she appeared to recognize him from earlier.

"Yeah, he's... he's bugging..." she couldn't finish her sentence, as she slumped limply forward onto Kenshin, who caught her upper half. Thankfully she was still partly seated, so he didn't have any difficulty catching her taller form. This was just what he'd feared.

"Don't let anyone drink this," he instructed the blinking bartender, who nodded and took her drink off the counter. Kenshin watched him pour it out, and then hoisted the woman and carried her out of the bar.

"Hey! Hey you can't just take her like that, she's my girlfriend!" The man who had clearly just drugged her shouted at Kenshin's back, following and shouting until they were outside. "Hey, listen to me, you little punk!" He shoved Kenshin from behind, forcing him to transfer the unconscious woman to one arm. She lolled sickeningly with only the one arm around her shoulders to hold her up, but he couldn't take the time to fix that. With his free hand, he produced a gun from somewhere in the vicinity of his waist and aimed it toward the approaching would-be rapist.

"You don't want to come any closer," he warned. "I don't know or care whether she's really your girlfriend; I'm going to take her somewhere safe, and if you try to follow us, you will regret it." The man backed away, swearing and making obscene gestures, but he backed away nonetheless. The gun went back into its place and both arms were once again devoted to conveying the unconscious woman out to his car. There really wasn't any choice in the matter. He couldn't leave her alone in this state, especially not with that "boyfriend" of hers still around, and her equally drunk friends couldn't be counted upon. He would have taken her to her home, but she couldn't exactly tell him where that was, and he wasn't going to go through her belongings to find out. He just lay her down as gently as he could in his back seat and drove.

When he reached the aparment, he had to carry her once again, and was infinitely thankful when he got them into the elevator without having been seen. It would have looked very bad to someone who didn't know that it was someone _else_ who drugged her and that he had saved her from that fate. As the elevator went up, he hoped fervently that he would have the same luck on his floor that he had had in the lobby, and was rewarded with a completely empty hallway. He quietly took her into his apartment, heading straight back toward his bedroom. He deposited her on the bed he had still never slept in, and as an afterthought, covered her with the blanket also. He shut the door to the bedroom, leaving her to sleep it off. He remained in the hallway, even though he knew there was very little chance that anyone would come looking for her after that display outside the bar, and even if they did, he could guard her just as well out in the living room, closer to the locked front door.

He sat on the floor, leaning back against the door to the room that contained the mysterious woman. It seemed somehow better, safer for her, if he stayed there for the night. It wasn't as if he hadn't pulled all-nighters before, studying for exams or other normal things he used to do. He would just wait for morning and then take her home when she awoke.

* * *

Tomoe woke up groggy and unable to recognize where she was. She had no memory of the place or how she'd gotten there, and disturbingly, even once the usual morning disoriented feeling left, she still had no idea where she was, or... whose bed she was lying in. She looked to the other side of the bed, but there was no one there. There was no one in the room at all. She couldn't remember going home with anyone, but clearly she had... she could remember flirting with a cute, if style-impaired, redheaded man, so maybe it was his house. She couldn't remember doing anything more than flirting, though... if she recalled right, he'd refused to so much as dance with her, so how had she gotten him to agree to this and where was he?

* * *

Kenshin was awakened by the impact of his head on the carpet. He shot back up, confused and on the defensive until he remembered sitting there to guard the woman and put it together that she must have opened the door he was leaning against. He stood up and got out of the doorway, but she didn't move out of it, just looked at him expectantly.

"The... the bathroom's that way if you need to use it... I... I'm going to go start breakfast, it'll be ready soon..." Still she waited, as if neither of those bits of information were what she wanted. He was just about to say he'd take her home when she said the one thing in the world he expected least.

"So... how was it?" She asked in what seemed like a suggestive manner.

Oh.

Oh, dear Kami, she thought...

"It wasn't... we didn't... y-you passed out, and I didn't want to leave you alone, so I brought you here..." he tried to explain, but the way she kept looking at him made it hard to think... he wasn't sure why he was so worked up about it, it wasn't as if he had never brought a girl home before, but... it had been so long, and the circumstances were... to say the least, extremely different...

"God, I must have been smashed," she commented, totally oblivious to the chaos she had created with her simple question.

"You... actually, you were drugged," he stammered. At her angrily surprised look, he felt the need to elaborate. "Someone gave you a drink, and you took it... I had a bad feeling about it, so I went over there in case it was what I thought, and... it... was. I... I couldn't leave you there with him," he explained apologetically. "Even if he had really left, someone else could have... taken advantage of your situation, and... and your friends were drunk, I couldn't leave you with them... this is the safest place I could think of to bring you until you woke up and could tell me where you live. I'll take you home as soon as you're ready."

She made a soft noise, putting a hand to her head as if the news of last night's events was giving her a headache.

"I'm sorry," he offered, unsure of how else to comfort her.

"It's all right, it's... not your fault... but if we didn't have sex..." she paid no attention to the way that word made him blush and look for other places to direct his eyes besides at her, "why am I wearing this?" She pulled at the fabric of a giant tee shirt, one that was big enough that she could wear it by itself to sleep in. He wasn't sure why he owned one that big, really, since he was shorter than she was and it would have reached past his knees if he ever actually wore it.

"A... female friend came and cleaned you up and changed you," he explained, knowing how silly it sounded. He wouldn't have believed it himself if he didn't already know for a fact that it was true. He had gotten her to his bedroom fully clothed and just lain her down, but had come out to find he hadn't really made it in without being seen. A woman he'd never seen before had knocked on his door and spoken in code, despite the fact that he hadn't seen her in the training program the unit had gone through together. She'd said she knew Kogoro-san and offered to help. He couldn't deny she knew Kogoro-san; how else could she have known the unit's code? That meant she was trustworthy, and it was highly likely that Kogoro-san had found out his current plight and sent her; Kogoro-san had an uncanny knack for knowing things he had no apparent way of knowing. It was strange, but it was the only help he'd had at the moment.

"Okay..." she replied, sounding vaguely suspicious, but seemingly willing to let it slide.

"Um, anyway... there's some food on the table for you, and when you're finished you can get dressed and I'll take you home..." he tried to get back on the subject of her going home, but she wouldn't hear of it.

"Soup for breakfast?" She pointed once she saw what was offered.

"Um, yes, is that not... normal here?" He asked, still rather clueless about American food. He ate miso in the morning all the time...

"Well, not really, but it's okay. Is this what you eat... where you're from?" she asked, pausing as if she was realizing for the first time that she didn't know where he was from.

"Yes, it is," he answered, not bothering to explain further. She would be gone soon anyway and hopefully forget she had ever met him.

"Where _are_ you from?" Was her next question.

"Japan," he answered, trying not to be rude, but also not wanting to start a lengthy conversation.

"My grandparents were from Japan. They died a long time ago, though," she answered. He wasn't sure how to reply to that, or if it required a reply at all, so he remained silent. She didn't try to make any more conversation over breakfast, which was fine with him. He finished before she did and took his dishes to the sink, intending to wash them later. He waited, feeling more awkward than he had while eating, if it was possible. When she was finished, though, she promptly collected her dishes, walked to the sink, and... started washing them. He hadn't had a guest in this country yet, if you didn't count Kogoro-san, so he couldn't really say he knew, but it didn't seem right for a guest to wash dishes.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?" She replied calmly, not even looking up from the sink. Kenshin noticed with some annoyance that she had still made no move to get dressed, and leaning over the sink like that made the tee shirt she'd slept in even more revealing than it had been already on her taller body. He looked away, grumbling to himself that the heat he felt on his face was only due to his frustration.

"Um... helping out in the kitchen?" He tried.

"See? You already know."

He had no idea what to say to that. She was so cool and unruffled that there was little room for argument. He let her continue, and she washed his dishes as well before walking past him to deposit herself on his couch. It appeared that she intended to stay.

**Note:** Yes, before you point it out, I know the drinking age is 21 in the USA. The law isn't taken terribly seriously, though, and a lot of establishments sell alcohol to 18 year olds, and some don't care how old you are. I don't see Kenshin deliberately breaking the law for a frivolous reason like that, though, no matter how easy it is, so I've decided that since he is new to the country and all, we can assume he doesn't know the drinking age is actually 21.


	16. Chapter 15

**Only Time**

**Part 2**

**Chapter 15**

**by the sacred night, beta: Skenshingumi**

She had stayed. For the first couple of days, Kenshin had continued to try and broach the subject of returning her home, but like that first morning which had rapidly turned into that first day, she had found ways of completely avoiding it until at last he felt he had to be blunt. She sat across the table from him, eating eggs innocuously and unsuspecting, but he couldn't afford to be subtle about this any longer.

"Look, Tomoe-san, I really need to take you home soon. I'm not exactly in a position to take care of you," he began.

"Home?" She stopped, her fork returning from where it hung in midair to rest on her plate. "If I had a home, I wouldn't be hanging around here like a stray puppy," was her answer.

"Surely you're not homeless…" he asked before a confused pause, remembering the clothes and jewelry she'd been wearing when he'd brought her home.

"My father's a drunk, and there's my little brother, he… he ran away, and… no, I don't have a home to go back to," she turned her gaze to the table, clearly in pain, and he softened. He didn't press further. She could stay as long as she didn't pose a threat to his mission… although, the rational side of his mind told him, he couldn't say how long that would be.

Thus, she was still in his house after a week had passed, still the only person to have slept in his bed. Despite how he had first met her, flirting at a bar, she seemed content to stay in most of the time. This presented something of a problem for Kenshin, since that was his usual daytime activity as well. He had been forced to share the living room with her, to listen to whatever TV programs she found to entertain herself, to watch her wait so damnably late to change out of that tee shirt she was really too tall to wear like that…

He had to admit she was no burden. She did dishes, never left things lying around to clutter the place, and had even cooked a time or two. The things she cooked were, of course, a little outside his experience, but the things he'd cooked for her weren't what she was accustomed to either. Occasionally she prodded him with questions about Japan, and that was one subject he didn't mind in the least. He could have told her much more than she asked, but restrained himself. If he got into the habit of having long conversations with her, she might start to ask other things he wasn't as comfortable discussing. He had already had to lie to her once; he'd told her the same cover story Kogoro had invented for the cab driver as to why they were in America. He didn't want her to find one of the envelopes that were slipped under his door more frequently now, and didn't want her to ask where he went every time he received one.

Her affinity for the outside world that entered the apartment in the form of television, radio, and other media presented something of a concern, since only someone who withdrew so thoroughly from it as he did could avoid hearing daily about the string of unsolved murders that had occurred of late. Case in point: at that very moment, Tomoe was watching a sobbing bereaved individual declare that the perpetrator behind it would receive capital punishment if he had anything to say about it.

"Turn that off," he commanded in the middle of this speech. Tomoe looked at Kenshin strangely, since in her experience, he wasn't one to command frivolously. If it were something simple like the television show she was watching, usually he requested.

"I want to see it," she countered and went back to watching.

"Turn it _off_," he repeated, this time setting the demanding amber eyes upon her. It was so rare for him to get intense about anything in her presence, and when he did, she was always struck by them. She realized for what felt like the first time, but wasn't, that she'd been wrong that night in the bar. His eyes weren't yellow, they were like the sun when it was just beginning to set, dying temporarily only to resurrect eight hours later.

"Fine," she finally gave in and turned it off, but that didn't mean she dropped the subject. "Are you sensitive about the death penalty or something?" She looked at him with genuine interest, but he didn't answer. She could see a muscle in his jaw go tense as he continued to stare way too hard at the coffee table.

"I don't like the idea either," she answered, reaching to touch his shoulder, but he pulled out of her reach before she could make contact.

"It's not that at all," he answered unexpectedly, appearing to contemplate her question a little more deeply than she intended. "Sometimes it's necessary for someone to die, whether or not anyone likes the idea. It's just… that man on the TV has no idea what he's saying. He doesn't understand what he's wishing for."

She didn't really understand the answer, but she let it go, since it was obviously a significant topic for him, though she certainly couldn't tell why.

He'd ended the discussion without letting her know he was intimately connected to that particular story, but it had made him uncomfortable nonetheless. It was a standing rule after that that news programs were not to be watched in his apartment.

Despite that uneasiness on Kenshin's part, though, they fell into something of a routine. Maybe she saw all the cleaning, cooking, and other little domestic things she did as earning her keep, or maybe she simply didn't have anything better to do, but it left Kenshin with even less to occupy himself with than before. He did have one task that required constant attention, however. He had to make sure he retrieved the communication that entered under his door the instant it was put there, because something about the idea of Tomoe picking it up and bringing it to him made him queasy. He doubted she would read it, so there wasn't any real danger, but nevertheless he made sure he always got it himself.

He put the one he was currently carrying quietly past her in the trunk at the foot of the bed, since that was the only place it was sure to stay hidden. After it was carried out, he would burn it, put it through the garbage disposal, let it dissolve in water, or find some other way of destroying it beyond recovery. For the time being, he just glanced at its contents and locked it away. He knew his way around better now, so he didn't need directions, but he did still need to look for a photo and whatever other pertinent data he could find. This was another tricky part; he didn't want Tomoe- or anyone else- noticing that whenever he Googled someone, they tended to turn up dead the next morning.

That was another change Tomoe had wrought in his life over the short period she's lived there; he never would have used the word "Google" at all when he had first entered the country, much less used it as a verb. She found it amusing to acclimate him to the culture in which he found himself, and he couldn't complain of that, either. Blending in never hurt anyone, particularly an assassin who "officially" didn't exist.

* * *

Elsewhere in the city, another member of the unit was with a woman also, but the circumstances were definitely dissimilar. Kogoro Katsura, as he was now called, was pleasantly dining with a lady he hoped soon to be able to call his fiancée. Ikumatsu sat across from him, ordering the exotic food she still found exciting after nearly six months in the country. He admired her quietly, treasuring the secret. They would share it soon enough, but right now it was pleasant to keep it inside and enjoy it… and it helped to stave off the nervousness somewhat. If he thought she was likely to refuse, he wouldn't be planning how to ask, or carrying a ring in his pocket. Nevertheless…

"I saw that girl in our building again," Ikumatsu was apparently finished ordering, since the waiter had vanished and she was making conversation. There were few things in life that could so thoroughly negate his ability to pay attention to his surroundings like she could.

"Hm? What girl?" He asked, coming back to the present. Ikumatsu was so social; she was always talking about new people she met and Kogoro couldn't keep up with them all.

"The one Himura-san brought home a few days ago. I think she's been staying there this whole time," she continued, casually sipping her drink.

"Really?" He stopped anything he might have been doing or thinking, focused upon that thought.

She nodded, "Yes, I spoke to her this time, too. She's very nice when she's awake," Ikumatsu smiled.

"She's been staying with him?" Kogoro still hadn't let that thought go.

"I don't know why else I would keep seeing her there, but I didn't actually ask her… why, is there a problem?" Ikumatsu leaned forward with a look of slightly confused concern.

"No, no, just the opposite, actually," Kogoro answered and Ikumatsu relaxed. "If it were anyone else, I'd be concerned, but Himura-san won't let her find out anything she isn't supposed to. I'd trust that kid with my life. I _do _trust him with my life." He paused, looking with concern at the tablecloth. "It'll be good for him, I think. He's so hard on himself, thinks about work constantly… I wish I had that concentration, but he'll burn out or snap if he doesn't find something else to focus on. He's a good kid; he deserves something good in his life. Like I have," he smiled at Ikumatsu, effectively changing the subject. Himura-san was something of an enigma, one to be thought of when Kogoro was alone, not one to burden civilians with.

"Like we have," Ikumatsu affirmed, lifting her glass as if to toast it.

* * *

It was time to leave. Kenshin had all the information he needed, it was fully dark, Tomoe was engrossed in a book, and there was no more waiting. Various weapons were affixed in places where they could be concealed but still easily accessed, and as usual, monochromatic black was his attire choice. If Tomoe suspected this meant anything, she never said so, and of course she couldn't see that he was armed. There wasn't exactly a katana at his hip, even though he did have one in the locked trunk in his room. Instead, he had small knives, guns, and such things that could be hidden with reasonable ease all over his body. He bid Tomoe goodbye even though it might draw unnecessary attention from her, because he wanted her to be aware she was alone. He had no reason to believe anyone would come after her after all this time, but he had survived as long as he had by being overly cautious on some things. Besides, if she ever became a target because of her association with _him_, he would be glad he'd been careful.

Leaving was simple enough, but coming back was a little trickier. It wouldn't do for him to return with bloody spatters covering him as he had routinely done before Tomoe had entered his life. That had happened once already, and he couldn't afford to repeat it.

_He had gone into a public restroom near where he'd… finished… his assignment. In a dirty gas station in the middle of downtown, a few people might give him strange looks, but it wouldn't be as bad as someone who lived with him finding out the details of what he did… if she ever put it together, as she certainly would if he came back covered in blood, she could tell the police where he lived, exactly what he looked like, she might have even seen Kogoro… dear Kami, if she ever exposed Kogoro…_

_That could unquestionably not be allowed to happen. He stopped at deserted gas stations on the way home to wash in their restrooms. The spots came easily enough off of his face, off his hands, out of his hair, and while he couldn't exactly wash his clothes right there, part of the advantage to black was that it didn't show stains._

_When she'd seen him, though, that night had been different than every other time he'd returned after washing someone else's blood off in someone else's restroom. She'd gotten a look of shocked concern on her face, but strangely, not fear. Not disgust. She'd come toward him instead of backing away. He'd understood he missed a spot, but had been confused by her reaction to it. He had let her lead him wordlessly to the bathroom. She'd wet a washcloth and carefully brushed the stray hair away from his face, gingerly dabbing at a spot near his surprised, almost awed, wide left eye. She was being gentle with it, wincing as if she thought she'd hurt him. He understood now; she thought he was bleeding. He wasn't surprised, then, when he saw the look on her face when she pulled her hand away from clean skin, seeing that there was no wound._

She hadn't said much about it, and everything had just gone back to normal the next day, but he didn't want to risk having it happen again. He was more careful, painstakingly washing, rewashing, looking hard into the cracked mirrors to catch anything he might have missed, so she wouldn't see again what she had seen that night. She had known the blood she found on him wasn't his, but didn't seem to have made the connection between that and all of the other dangerous little clues yet. He wanted to keep it that way, and coming in with other people's blood on him more than once was decidedly _not_ the way to do that.

After he was clean… or, at least, not so obviously dirty… he went back to his apartment, back to Tomoe. He walked in quietly and shut the door, not moving so noiselessly as he had just an hour before, because he wanted her to know he was back. She didn't even look up, though her back was to him. What trust.

"I'm back, Tomoe-san," he greeted softly, in case she actually hadn't heard his entry.

"Hi, Kenshin," she answered equally softly, pronouncing his name just a little bit wrong as always, but still neither turning around nor looking up. Surely she wouldn't let herself be vulnerable like that if she knew…but then, she wasn't trained like he was, either… did civilians know that was dangerous? He couldn't remember.

He just walked back toward the bathroom as he did after every assignment, regardless of how hard he'd scrubbed his face and hands before coming back. The bloody clothes he wore made his skin crawl, so he made straight for the bathroom, stopping nowhere before he reached it. He allowed the scalding water to sting his skin, trying to use it to burn away blood and guilt, but when he emerged with his skin nearly as red as his hair, only his body felt better.

Tomoe was still involved in her book when he came out. He sat in the chair next to the couch she was half sitting, half lying on, folding his bare feet under him and curling into a ball, watching Tomoe read. He did this for a bit, considered trying to make conversation, but refrained. He waited, thought about it again, and again thought better of it. He kept his silence, but continued to watch. She had already changed into that shirt of his she always slept in. She slept in his bed, in his shirt, in his room surrounded by his things. The only thing missing was… him. He shook his head as if to erase that thought. What was he doing, thinking that? She was a guest, she wasn't interested in… well, she _had_ expressed interest that night in the bar, his mind annoyingly pointed out, but she didn't know… she didn't, and she couldn't _ever_ know why that was a bad idea… and for the first time, he realized that even if it weren't a security risk, he would still hide what he did from her. She couldn't ever find out, no matter what… and he wouldn't think too deeply about why that was.

* * *

Yet another member of the unit to which Kogoro and Kenshin belonged was busy with some paperwork. Iizuka was shuffling around memos, printed copies of top-secret emails, photos, and all manner of documents in piles on his desk. He had been the one to secure valid identities for the soldiers before their entry into the United States, the one to make arrangements for the separate places they all lived throughout the city, and the one to decide many of the ways they would avoid suspicion once they arrived. He was one busy information officer. The screen of his laptop glowed in the dark room, several windows open at once, because Iizuka was a multitasker.

Of course, he possessed sensitive information on all members of the unit, since he could hardly do his job without it. There were photos of them, reams of personal information, records of all their assignments; there was enough information in this room alone to send them all to rot in American prisons awaiting death by lethal injection. That was why it had to be the most secure of all the places the unit occupied. It was the most private, that was certain. It was a small house farther back from the road than most, with a high wooden fence and an unkempt lawn. At first glance, it wasn't even clear whether anyone lived there at all.

This made it easy for Iizuka to move autonomously, unhindered in doing his job, and… other things that were _not_ his job, freely. For example, it left him free of scrutiny enough to seal some of the more important details of the unit's mission in a manila envelope with a letter politely inquiring how much said details might be worth. Beside the envelope, however, was the gem of the bunch. It was an 8x10 glossy photograph, and he had decided he wouldn't accept less than $100,000 USD for it. It would be sent separately, after he had hooked the highest bidding media company. It would be an exclusive story; what news network _wouldn't_ pay for a photo of the perpetrator of the mysterious unsolved murders that had baffled local police for the past six months? Accompanied with his name, his address, the number on his temporary work visa… it would be a gold mine.

Unlike the assassin in the photograph, Iizuka did watch the news regularly. He watched American news programs for anything that might mean a member of his unit had been discovered, because it was part of his job. He had a live news feed from Japan in one of the many open windows coming through the internet. He would watch them closely, and the minute anything connected with the unit appeared, he would report it like a good soldier. A reporter or two might turn up dead the next morning, but what concern would that be of his? Once the higher-ups of the Japanese military found out what was going on under their noses, he would be the least of their worries.

It was a nice photo, really. It was a flattering shot of a smiling redheaded boy taken about a year ago, before he'd become the serial killer on the news. He was waving toward whomever was taking the picture, topknot dancing in the breeze behind him. It would be all the better for the news because it didn't _look_ like a photo of a murderer, or a future murderer. They liked shocking things like that; that was one thing that held true in every country. It would be the most lucrative thing by far, but the rest would bring a profit as well. That wasn't to be discounted. Spies, secret missions in foreign countries, teenage assassins… it was all very exciting to an audience who knew nothing about it. Iizuka found $100,000 much more exciting.


	17. Chapter 16

**A/N:** To the person who asked, yes, my favorite canon pairing is Kenshin/Tomoe. The story will be incredibly, extremely long. It will take over the world. Take cover. I'm maybe… a fourth of the way through?

**Only Time**

**Part 2**

**Chapter 16**

**by the sacred night, beta: Skenshingumi**

Tomoe awoke naturally, as usual. She was alone in the large bed that was not her own. Before she had come to live in this small apartment, waking up alone in someone's bed usually meant said someone was in the kitchen making breakfast to share with her before taking her home, unless said someone turned out to be a jerk, which they sometimes had, and just left her there to find her own way home. Now, however, it meant very little, since Kenshin had never been in bed with her in the first place. Waking up alone was an everyday event now. As it happened, he probably _was_ in the kitchen making breakfast to share with her, but he had given up the idea of taking her home long since.

She rolled out of bed in the old tee shirt she always wore. She could only assume it was Kenshin's; it was hers now. She'd found herself in it her first day there and hadn't given it up. Despite having claimed the shirt, however, she had no illusions as to the rest. This was not her room, nor was it her apartment. She had been lucky to install herself as a permanent fixture, and she would definitely be pushing it if she tried to claim partial ownership.

Leaving the bed and the room that were not hers, she walked through the door that was not hers into the hallway that was also not hers, stepping over the man that was not her boyfriend, not her husband, not anything of hers. It would be a stretch to call him a friend. She made no particular effort to conceal any part of herself as she made the wide step over him, because watching him look away grumbling incoherently whenever something like that happened was one of the few pleasures she had in life. It served him right, sitting there by her door all night but refusing to say more than two words to her during the day. What could he mean by that? He never even slept on the couch, as far as she could tell. She had never actually seen him asleep, but she got the distinct impression he spent the whole night right outside the door to the bedroom, fully clothed, even when she didn't see him there upon waking.

Since Kenshin appeared not to have left his spot on the floor yet, she made breakfast herself. She had had to work with what strange groceries she could find at first, but after awhile, had managed to exert her influence over his shopping somewhat. She went with the ever-popular scrambled eggs and toast this morning, silently going about the process even though she knew she had no obligation to do so. Kenshin had never asked her to cook for him, or to do the dishes or the laundry, but she did them. He asked very little of her, as a matter of fact. Still, she inserted herself into his life in every conceivable way, partly because, as she had told him, she had nowhere better to go, partly because of how she had been drawn to him when they first met, and now, maybe partly for spite.

He came to the table right on time, without needing to be called. He always seemed to know exactly what she was doing, or even what she was about to do, even if she was several rooms away and there was no evidence, like the smell of eggs that was currently drifting through the house. She could never quite figure out how, but he did. She set two plates down, and commenced eating, her host doing the same. As usual, he spared no unnecessary words.

"I want to go out later," she announced after a few moments of silence broken only by the clinking of dishes, not sure if she expected any reaction or not. She went out occasionally to do laundry or such things without announcing it, but she wanted to go _out_, as in leave the building, this time.

"And do what?" Kenshin asked, surprising her. She'd thought if he said anything at all, it would be something dismissive or perhaps even "no." She didn't know why she had announced her intentions, but it had come out sounding like she was asking for permission, hadn't it? Just because she was living in his house didn't mean she needed his permission to do things…

"I don't know, shop, eat… whatever."

He said no more. She should have known not to expect more than one sentence… it was nice to have gotten him to speak at all, really. She took his silence to mean he had no objections, and went back to the bedroom to get dressed.

* * *

When Tomoe had announced that she wanted to go out, Kenshin hadn't thought much about it. She'd sounded a little like she wanted his permission, but it wasn't his decision. She wasn't his responsibility; he refused to accept that. He was responsible for her only in that he had to make sure she didn't find anything out, and if she did, he would be held responsible because he had brought her there, but he wasn't her father and he wasn't going to control her every move. Even if he could have, he wouldn't, but he doubted he would have been able to had he tried. If he'd had any control over her whatsoever, she'd be back in her own life right now instead of still with him.

One good thing did come of it, though. Tomoe had gotten dressed nice and early instead of wearing his tee shirt around for hours like she usually did. Not that her clothes covered much more, since she had worn them to the bar in hopes of snagging a man for the night, apparently, and she still only had the one outfit there. Still, it was better that she be fully clothed, and in her _own_ clothes. The thought of her wearing his was just… not a good idea. He mentally shoved such thoughts away, as if to prove his point.

Kenshin didn't guess he really cared if Tomoe went out for a bit anyway. There couldn't be any appreciable danger in it for either one of them. She didn't know enough about him to be a danger, and he supposed there really had never been any danger of anyone coming after Tomoe. Even if there was, he couldn't exactly keep her locked up in his apartment all the time.

She was gone, and had been gone for only a few minutes. He didn't know where she intended to go, since he hadn't offered to drive her anywhere and she hadn't asked. It didn't seem like she could walk terribly far in the ridiculously impractical shoes she wore, but out she went, seemingly unconcerned about transportation issues.

He knew having the apartment to himself was a valuable opportunity to get some work done with no risk of her seeing anything she shouldn't, but the problem with that was that it was early in the day and he had yet to receive any assignments. He didn't technically have any work to do, although just his luck, he would probably see an envelope the minute she got home.

What would he do, faced with probably hours alone and no work to occupy his time? He had dealt with this daily before, but now that he was used to having Tomoe there… it seemed empty somehow without her. He guessed he could find something, because he would have to, but for the moment… bland, wasted, empty hours stretched before him completely blank.

* * *

Tomoe had a spring in her step when she headed back toward her new home several hours later, swinging a bag on her index finger as she walked. She almost hummed a tune, but she didn't. Shopping always made everything better. She opened the door and stopped just inside, kicking her shoes off not so much because she was concerned about getting the floor dirty or because of any tradition that was honored in the household, but because they hurt after she wore them awhile and it felt indescribably good to get out of them. She realized she hadn't actually worn shoes since the night they had been taken off of her unconscious body by the mysterious "female friend" Kenshin had spoken of. She had seen a woman around the building that she suspected it might be, because she had a long, impossible to pronounce name and an accent similar to Kenshin's, and had appeared to recognize her when they met for what Tomoe had thought was the first time.

Dismissing the foreign woman from her mind, Tomoe looked up from the floor where her shoes had fallen in a heap on top of Kenshin's only to see him standing in the tiny half-room that passed for a kitchen in an apartment, stirring something. She had thought of eating while she was out, but didn't want to eat out by herself, and while she could've called a friend on her cell, she didn't really want to answer questions about where she'd been. She wondered if he'd made enough for her just as he looked up.

"Lunch will be ready in a few minutes," he announced and then went back to cooking. That answered that question. He paused, though, and looked up again, this time at the plastic bag still hanging from two of her fingers. "You bought things?" He asked, seeming surprised by that.

"That's generally what people do when they go shopping," she answered as if she had doubts about his intelligence. "What did you expect?"

"I just… didn't realize you had money with you," he replied, digesting it as he did every piece of data he encountered about the world. He was annoyingly analytical at times.

"Dad's credit card," she answered flatly. She never left home without it. "What difference does it make?" She asked, milking this sudden fit of talkativeness he seemed to have for all it was worth. There was no telling when she'd get him to string three sentences together again.

"None, I suppose… won't he be upset that you're still using it when you've been gone so long?" _And why didn't I leave if I had money? Is that what you mean?_

"The man wouldn't be upset if I bought the farm, much less a new outfit and a picture frame," she answered, her good mood crushed in favor of a more cynical one.

"What farm? He wouldn't notice if you bought a farm…?" Kenshin was clearly confused, and stopped stirring to give her a look that told her so.

"Not _a_ farm, _the_ farm. He wouldn't be upset if I bought the farm. If I died." Yes, cynicism had definitely taken the place of her shopping high…

"If you… died?" His look was still confused, but now it was mingled with revulsion, or something akin to it.

"Buying the farm is a euphemism for dying. New English phrase for the day. Call me when lunch is ready," she let her tone become totally deadpan, stalking back toward the bedroom to put away her purchases and avoid Kenshin until lunch was ready or she stopped thinking about her drunken father, whichever came first.

"Tomoe-san," Kenshin called softly through the door as he knocked on it, "Lunch is ready."

It was only a few seconds before the door opened and Tomoe answered, "Would you mind if I eat it in here?" She indicated the room in which she stood with an inclination of her head.

"N-no, that's fine… I'll go get it…" he was subconsciously moving the way he did when he was on an assignment: soundlessly, quickly, gracefully, and with economy of movement. There was no way it would actually make a difference, but he was treading lightly metaphorically and doing so physically just came naturally. He appeared with a bowl of soup and proffered it with his eyes on it instead of on her. "I'm sorry I upset you, Tomoe-san," he had the urge to bow and leave, but stood with her soup until she took it.

"It's okay, you didn't say anything wrong, really… I was reminded of some unpleasant things, but I shouldn't have taken it out on you," she replied, still standing in the doorway with the warm bowl in her hands.

"I'm sorry," he apologized again, ready to leave.

"It's okay, really. Join me?" She smiled slightly and pointed into the room with her elbow. He had never noticed before that she had such huge, hopeful brown eyes. They begged him to join her. He didn't really see why she wanted to eat in the bedroom if she wanted him to join her anyway, but didn't want to risk upsetting her again by asking.

"Sure," he replied, leaving to get his own bowl and shaking his confused head when he was out of her line of sight.

Returning to the bedroom, he saw that she had left the lights off and sat on the bed, blowing on a spoonful of hot soup. He sat next to her and began to eat as well, mostly just wanting to pacify her, since he certainly wouldn't eat soup on his bed in the semi-dark for any other reason. The situation as a whole was fairly awkward for Kenshin, so he wanted to say something. He wanted to comfort her somehow, because she was still sad, he could tell. Besides… he was actually sort of curious. If she was upset, she would be a bother, he told himself. It wasn't wrong of him to pursue the subject if he was ensuring that he wouldn't be distracted later, right? And if he happened to satisfy his own curiosity in the process… "You didn't actually mean that, right? About your father?"

"Well, I suppose not," she answered slowly and thoughtfully. "He would have to pay for my funeral."

"It can't be that bad," he replied stiffly, unprepared for her having said anything other than "No."

"He's a drunk. He barely batted an eye when my brother ran away," she continued, "I had to call the police myself."

"You seem like you had everything you needed…" Kenshin tried, helplessly trailing off. What had he gotten himself into? He had no idea how to handle a conversation like this… where had all his social skills gone? Into the ground with his first victim, he answered himself soberly before returning to the topic at hand.

"He's a rich drunk," she corrected. "That's the worst kind."

Oh, Kami… what did a person say to that? He was still trying to think of something when she spoke again.

"I shouldn't be burdening you with my problems, anyway," she forced a smile and started to get up, taking her half-full soup bowl with her.

"No, it's fine… I'm the one who should be sorry, I upset you again, I… just…" He stopped speaking, freshly nonplussed by her expression. What was she about to… oh!

* * *

"No, it's fine… I'm the one who should be sorry, I upset you again, I…"

Tomoe was pleasantly surprised. She had never seen such a candid look on Kenshin's face before, never anything that seemed real, like she was seeing the expression that really fit what he was thinking. At this moment, though, there was such a naked look of concern on his face that she could not believe it was manufactured. That, and he had talked to her… really talked to her. They'd had a conversation. The circumstances weren't the best, but… it was definitely something. She looked him over, eyes glinting with an idea. His beautiful face was molded into that look that seemed so genuine, she could see a few messy flyaway hairs coming out of that strange ponytail he always wore, and he was wearing the only color she had ever seen him wear: black. He looked very… kissable… right then. And that was precisely her idea.

His expression changed. She saw him see her seeing him, _looking_ at him. He knew she was about to do something, but she was confident he didn't know what… she leaned in before he had a chance to figure it out. With the way he acted every time he accidentally saw some part of her… and she _did_ believe it was accidental, in his case… there was no denying that he wanted this on some basic level, even if he pushed her away… but she thought kissing him on the mouth might give him a seizure if seeing her cleavage occasionally when she leaned toward him made him forget how to speak English, so she decided on a chaste peck on the cheek. She smiled to herself and pulled away quickly, still fearing that seizure a little.

"T… Tomoe-san, what…"

She had been wrong about his eyes before. They weren't yellow, and they weren't like the sun, either. They were the color of… honey.

She turned on her heel and left him to contemplate what had happened, not wanting to be around when the seizure hit.

* * *

General Okita Souji's office was painted a light powder blue. It had tall windows, air conditioning, and fresh, clean air. It was brightly lit by the afternoon sun shining in and by the light fixture high over his head. He sifted through the papers on the neatly organized desk, looking for the report he was supposed to file later that same day. He moved papers from every department imaginable out of the way, reminded needlessly of a million other little things he had to do. He messed up the neat stacks he had, making other neat stacks next to where they had been.

Suddenly, Okita came across something he hadn't seen before. It should have been in the stack where he placed new items, but Saito-san had a habit of just laying things on his desk on top of everything, not bothering to put it where it went, so things got in the wrong stack occasionally. This appeared to be a memo from Covert Operations. It was signed by the information officer in the unit headed by Kogoro Katsura; he hadn't gotten anything from them in awhile. He started to read with only a mild look of concern, wondering what other new memos were in the wrong places. His frown deepened, however, as he continued to read the message, and it evolved into a look of horror as he finished reading. _Katsura-kun, what are you playing at…?_

Okita pressed a button on the intercom that allowed the entire department to communicate from their offices. The button he pressed corresponded to an office just down the hall from his own, a smaller one, since the man it belonged to held a slightly lower rank than Okita did, but still a private office, which was more than most of the employees in that building could say for their own. It was a cramped, significantly less organized, smoky hole of a cluttered space, the complete opposite of Okita's, but it housed a man Okita trusted more than any other human that had ever walked the Earth. That man's loyalty was absolute, and he could be relied upon to handle any situation with perfect, swift, surgical precision. He was the only one Okita trusted to assist him in dealing with this news just yet, even though protocol dictated that he first involve the one man ranking between the two of them. He would do no such thing. "Saito-san, come to my office," Okita requested in his usually more chipper voice, "I think we have a problem."


	18. Chapter 17

**Only Time**

**Part 2**

**Chapter 17**

**by the sacred night, beta: Skenshingumi**

The key turned in the lock, Tomoe's first clue that she was not to be alone much longer. She could never figure out why she didn't hear footsteps first, but she never had, even if she listened for them. The key in the lock was always the first sound she heard of Kenshin's entrance when he came in of an evening. He went out almost every night now. She was a little put out that he never invited her along, but he never seemed to be in a good mood when he came home, so maybe it wasn't something she should be jealous of. Then again, if he ever _was_ in a good mood, she'd be damned if she could tell.

"I'm here, Tomoe-san," he announced quietly, passing her by and heading straight back toward the bathroom, which was always his first stop.

She wasn't sure why he always announced his presence like that when he didn't feel the need to greet her any other time, but acknowledged it with a simple "Hi, Kenshin," as always, without looking up from her book.

Shortly after he entered the bathroom at the back of the apartment, she heard water running as per usual, and it ran for quite some time. She heard some doors opening and closing, and after another short few minutes, he reappeared. He hadn't put his hair back up after his shower, and she noticed the wet strands almost reached his waist. Somehow, this wasn't as attractive as she might have hoped, since if it was possible, he was even more melancholy than usual, and it just made him look sadder.

She watched him go into the kitchen and emerge with a glass of the same thing she'd seen him drink on the night they met. Now that she lived there and had seen where he kept it, she knew it was scotch. He'd done this once or maybe twice in the entire time she'd been living with him; he didn't appear to be a big drinker, but that night had seemed to set a precedent. He only drank when he was very, very depressed, and this was always after one of his mysterious trips out. She was never sure if she should give him his space or try to help, and up to this point, she'd given him his space. It seemed like what he would probably want, if he ever really wanted anything. That had worked, insofar as it went; he always seemed fairly normal the next day, so these things appeared to be isolated, short-lived bouts, but it was depressing even for her just to think these spells were inevitable and would continue to happen forever. Besides, who knew, maybe she could do something to help. She was inclined to doubt it, but it was possible.

Tomoe passed behind Kenshin to get to the kitchen, where she poured her own glass, and then went and sat across the small table from him. "Mind if I join you?" She said a little less cheerfully than she had said it before. This wasn't the time to flirt, and she saw now that for him, it hadn't been the night they met, either. He had probably only gone to that bar because he didn't want to drink alone.

Instead of replying with a bored look like he had before, however, Kenshin simply gestured vaguely toward where she was sitting as if to point out that she already had. "I'd hate for you to have to drink alone," she continued when an answer was not forthcoming. She had become a little better at getting him to talk, so she was hoping she was lucky tonight.

It appeared she was not. He didn't seem to be in any mood to share whatever was bothering him, or at least not with her. She was not one to give up so easily, however. "She didn't dump you, did she?" It was the most obvious reason she could think of for a guy to come home depressed like that, if she suspended for a moment her knowledge of his hermit-like existence outside of the nightly outings. For all she knew, he could have been out seeing a girl, but actually it was less a serious question than an attempt to get him to correct her so she could segue into talking about whatever it _really_ was.

As she could have predicted, he put down his glass and looked up at that. "Who?" He asked. He was an alien in more than one way...

"That girl you've been seeing when you go out at night. You get in a fight?" She smiled at this point to let him know she was joking, but if she knew him…

"What girl? I haven't been seeing a girl." …it would fly right over his head. On the upside, his moroseness seemed to have been pushed aside just a little in favor of his confusion. He couldn't resist finding out the slightest detail about anything, she had found.

"A guy then?" She smiled wider, almost genuinely laughing by this point. Now that she thought about it, she really didn't know for a fact that he was straight…

"No, I… haven't been meeting anyone," he replied, a little edgy. This could have meant numerous things. Perhaps he was offended that she'd suggested that he was seeing another man, but she doubted that was it. It was more likely that either he was lying, or he was afraid she'd keep asking about where he'd been going and didn't want to tell her. She thought it was the latter, since it was totally believable that he hadn't been seeing anyone at all.

Despite how much she wanted to know what he did when he went out, she knew that had to have something to do with why he was so troubled at the moment, so she thought it best to steer clear of that subject for the time being. Her goal was to cheer him up, after all, not delve into his deepest, darkest secrets. She could do that another day. "So it's not a girl?"

"I already told you, no, it's not a girl." He sounded irritated, and irritated _was_ a little better than depressed.

"So am I still the only lady in your life?" She leaned forward as if in anticipation, even though she knew the answer.

"You and I are not…"

"I know, idiot, I was joking," she interrupted, reaching across the small table to push him.

"Oh," was all the response she got. She was still trying to decide what to say next to carry the conversation when Kenshin suddenly stood up and walked back into the kitchen, taking his drink with him. She saw him pour it out in the sink and then retreat silently toward the back of the apartment, eventually hearing a door close. She guessed she wouldn't be seeing any more of him that evening, but she didn't want to waste good scotch, unlike Kenshin, whose priorities were apparently all out of order. She calmly finished her drink and washed the two glasses before turning in, still wondering if his behavior was a good sign or a bad sign.

* * *

Kenshin never slept long. In an uncomfortable position like the one in which he found himself by Tomoe's door- it was really more her room than his, now- how could he have? He awoke there as he always did, feeling an uncomfortable stirring in his stomach. He owed her an explanation, really. He could have at least said something besides "oh" when it was clear she was trying to help. She _had_ helped. That was why he owed her an explanation. She had tried to help when she saw him sad, just like a friend would do. He used to have friends, and now that she was reminding him what it was like, he found he missed it. Sadly, she could not be his friend. She couldn't be his friend because he couldn't be her friend. A friend would have told her why he was upset. Better yet, any true friend of hers would send her away from a situation like this. Maybe the friendliest thing he could do for her at this point was to be so unfriendly that she would leave and be out of danger. For that and other reasons, the explanation she was owed would not be forthcoming.

Still, he felt a pang when she came out of the room and stepped over him as she often did. She didn't speak, and for the first time he could remember since they'd met, she was in fact discreet about what she exposed. He wasn't sure if this was because she was upset or because she was concerned that he still was. Either way, it was his fault that she was somehow feeling badly. A callous person might say she brought this on herself when she chose to live with him, but she was an innocent. She didn't deserve to be burdened with his problems no matter how silly it was for her to want to be around him. No one deserved to be burdened with the problems of a killer.

He stood up after a few minutes and followed her to the kitchen, not wanting to make things worse by breaking their routine of eating together. She appeared to have opted for simple cereal this morning, and had a bowl for him as well as for her when he got to the table. That was at least a good sign, he thought. If she wanted him to join her, maybe she at least wasn't mad at him for being so ungrateful and cold.

"Th-thank you, Tomoe-san," he mumbled shyly, realizing for the first time that he had not been in the habit of thanking her for the things she did for him.

"You're welcome," she replied offhandedly without looking at him. He supposed he deserved that. Still, he reminded himself, he shouldn't be trying to get closer to her anyway. That would only encourage her to stay here in his home, and while that might be nice for him, it was dangerous for her. It was dangerous for him in some ways, too, because she could find something out and go to the police, but that possibility seemed remote now that she had lived there for… what, a month and a half now? At the same time, it seemed both too long and too short a time to be right. It felt strange to remember his solitary life here before she'd come into it, but it was amazing to think it had been so long when her presence still seemed such a fresh addition. Once again, he had to remind himself that that was _not_ to be thought of as a good thing. She should leave; it was best for everyone involved.

After eating, Kenshin went downstairs and checked his mail. He didn't get much mail, but didn't want to have a pile of junk accumulate in his mailbox or to miss something important in case Kogoro decided to start communicating with him that way. It needed to be checked, but he also needed to get out of the apartment that was so full of Tomoe's presence. His guilt over the way he pushed her efforts at friendship away was doing counterproductive things to him, making him want to repair things with her, which would only encourage her to stay in this situation in which she had never belonged.

At last, the little bell in the elevator indicated that he had reached the ground floor, where the mailboxes were located. He rifled through the contents of his small numbered slot in the wall seeing mostly junk mail, but paused on something that did merit attention. He had received another letter from his mother. It felt strange to be reminded of his family and life back in Tokyo when they were so far removed from his current calamities; and thank the Kami they were. Much like before, he hated to imagine their reactions if they knew the realities of his life and work here in America. Discarding the junk in a wastebasket before reentering the elevator, he began to open and read the letter en route. His siblings had gotten report cards recently. Naga's and Sei's had been none too impressive, but their mother seemed pacified by the fact that they had missed a lot of school due to a prolonged bout with the flu earlier in the year. Akane's grades were shining examples of adolescent scholarship as always, but now _she_ was starting to get sick with the same flu the twins had had. His father had gotten a promotion at work, which his mother bragged glowingly about, but she spoke little about herself before ending with more questions about his own situation. Once more he was faced with the difficulty of composing a reply that was not a blatant lie, but would not be disconcerting for his family either.

Still thinking about this puzzle, Kenshin arrived back at his door, hearing indistinct voices from within. Tomoe was watching television, he deduced. He almost smiled when he heard her gasp; it was uncanny how much enjoyment she got out of that thing. He didn't want to startle her in case she was too engrossed in the show to notice his entry, so he made a little bit of noise with the doorknob as he opened it. He wasn't sure whether or not that was the right decision, since when he entered, he was just in time to see the screen fade quickly to black. Tomoe's hand was still covering her mouth after her loud gasp, and as her eyes moved, near tears, from the TV set to him, he had the distinct impression he both knew and did not want to know what had been on the screen.


	19. Chapter 18

Waaaah, it's been forever! I'm sorry to make you all wait. I actually thought I'd already written and posted this chapter, so I slacked off for awhile and then when I went back to start on chapter 19, I realized chapter18 was only half done! Ack!

Soooooo... here's a **recap** of what was going on in case you forgot, because you probably hate having to reread just to get your bearings as much as I hate it. Kenshin was just walking into the apartment and heard Tomoe gasp. Assuming this was because of something dramatic happening on TV, he shrugged it off and opened the door. He entered just in time to see her turn off the TV and stare at him all shocked-like, at which point he realized he was pretty much fucked. For those of you who didn't surmise what she was watching and why this was bad, your suspense will be over in approximately three paragraphs.

**Only Time**

**Part 2**

**Chapter 18**

**by the sacred night, beta: Skenshingumi**

Kenshin waited for Tomoe to speak, carefully making sure to breathe. There was no way he could really act calm, since she very obviously was not calm, but he didn't want to make an even bigger deal of things by giving in to the same behavior. It was possible he was paranoid and she was shocked about something entirely different than what he thought. If it _was_ what he was thinking, he didn't know yet how much she had seen. He waited for her to speak first, not wanting to give anything away and potentially make things even worse.

For a long moment she was as silent as he was, as if she was waiting for him to explain. Of course he hadn't actually gotten to see what she had seen, so he couldn't technically be expected to know at this point why she was so upset. Kenshin belatedly realized that if he hadn't been hiding anything, he would have been surprised at her state and immediately asked what was the matter, so his silence had actually incriminated him. K'so.

"It's true, isn't it?" Tomoe asked, although she didn't sound like she was asking so much as stating a fact for confirmation.

Kenshin found himself faced with a conundrum. He couldn't ask "What, exactly, are you referring to?" and expect anything other than a glare for an answer, but he still didn't want to risk giving something away if she didn't know the full story. He settled for "That depends"- since they really could be saying completely untrue things as easily or more easily than they could be telling the truth, whoever "they" were, presumably the news- "what did you hear?" At least that didn't sound _quite_ so much like he was deliberately playing dumb. He hoped.

"That you're the… the…" she pointed toward the TV as she trailed off, apparently unable to express just what she had heard he was. She was saved from having to grope for words by the ringing of the only phone in the apartment. Kenshin seriously considered ignoring it, but since in all probability it was Kogoro, he only let it go for a couple of rings while he wondered if this conversation was more important.

"Hello?" He answered the phone somewhat curtly, but thought that could be excused under the circumstances.

"How careful were you on your last assignment?" The question was fired at him equally brusquely, and he was prepared to answer it. He had already been thinking along those lines, backtracking mentally to try to find the slip.

"Very careful. I don't know how they found anything," he answered truthfully, but thought it best to speak the one of his two languages that Tomoe wouldn't understand.

"The girl is there," Kogoro stated, and Kenshin confirmed. "Did she see it too?"

"Hai," he answered, cursing himself for not being more careful about that. He had told her not to watch the news, but she didn't know why and thus didn't understand the importance… she'd probably just thought he was squeamish about all the violence on television news, but he was pretty sure that notion was effectively squashed at this point.

"How much did she see?" Kogoro asked, the situation weighing heavily on him by the sound of it.

"I don't know. I didn't see it myself; she shut it off when she heard me come in. Is it still on?" Tomoe was even more bewildered and frightened by this point- frightened of _him_, he noted with a cutting pain somewhere he couldn't identify- undoubtedly feeling now that not only was the story true, but there was much more to it if he was speaking in Japanese about it to avoid her overhearing.

"No, it's over now. Find out how much the girl knows. I expect a phone call within the hour." The line went dead. Kogoro had hung up on him, but like his own curtness, it could be forgiven considering recent events. He turned his focus back to the more difficult conversation, having no idea what to say to the woman in tears before him.

* * *

Tomoe put her hand to her forehead, trying to digest the idea that she'd been living with a killer-cum-spy for some sort of international conspiracy. He was firing unintelligible words into the phone, having a curt conversation with someone she could only assume was also part of the plot. She couldn't think a coherent thought.

Finally, Kenshin hung up the phone and looked back at her. He didn't speak right away. What was there to say? She knew his secret now. She knew where he'd been going at night and why he'd come home with blood on his face a time or two, and she knew why he was so secretive about those plain envelopes that appeared under the door. It had never occurred to her before that those two events were tied together; whenever an envelope came, he went out. Both were nearly daily occurrences, so a pattern hadn't really suggested itself before, but there it was. All this time, he'd been killing people and washing their blood off right down the hall from where she sat reading or watching television, and she hadn't even known.

"Tomoe-san, I… need to know what you saw," he requested, and it did sound like a request. She had expected a demand, something more in the vein of what a killer would say, but he asked softly and gently for the information and she forestalled the hissing reply that had sprung to her lips. Still… even a killer could be polite when it was advantageous.

Alongside her fear and righteous anger, she was rapidly filling with humiliation that she had lived with him and not known. She remembered the trust, and now felt acute betrayal. She felt guilty for even thinking it, but... _how could he have kept it from her?_ She'd thought she was his friend, but here was... this...

"Tomoe-san," he prompted, and she remembered that she was supposed to speak. Still, she couldn't decide whether to tell him what he wanted to know. It would be helping him, aiding and abetting. Still, he would undoubtedly end up on death row if his deeds were known... assuming what she'd heard was true...

That was something. There was a chance the reports were false. There was definitely something up, she could tell from the phone call, but maybe they'd gotten the specifics wrong. Maybe he was innocent of murder, but guilty of something else...

"Th-they knew your name... or, your first name... I don't know if the last name was right... Himura, they said..." she had more to say, but was too confused and frightened to go on without encouragement. She allowed herself to tell him because they might be wrong, and then he would need to be able to clear his name, but the part of her that knew what nonsense that was demurred from telling everything too willingly. He just nodded and then was still again, that amber stare never leaving as he patiently waited for details. His eyes were not yellow, not like the sun, and not even like honey this time. They were like hard, glinting gold that reminded her it too was a metal like iron or steel, but tempered with something gentler. He was in business mode, but still far from battle mode, she deduced.

She found the silence and the staring made her squirm so much she went on just to fill the awkward pause. "They showed your passport… and a photo of you, but it was an old one. You must have been barely out of high school when it was taken."

"So not too old?" He asked.

"The picture?" She asked, and he nodded quietly. "Well, it must be a little old, if you'd just graduated… how old are you, anyway?" She found herself just comfortable enough to be curious. She'd almost forgotten she was being interrogated, with him doing so little talking and so far, no threatening.

He hesitated a few seconds before replying, "Nineteen." She couldn't hide a little surprise at that; he was _still_ just barely out of high school. And the things they'd said about him on the news…

"Did they say anything else?" Could he have been uncomfortable with the conversation turning to him, or was he just doing his job and seeking information? She didn't know, so she just thought back over the newscast to remember any details.

"Oh," she began when she remembered something important, "they… knew you lived on 2nd street. They didn't give the exact address, but that doesn't mean they didn't know it…" She trailed off, regretting having said that last part. Of course he could deduce that much. How else could he have become such a successful… if you could call it that… such a skilled…

"Was that all?" He asked, thankfully cutting off her train of thought before it could go too far.

"Well… they said you were armed and dangerous, but… that's all I can remember."

"Thank you," he lowered his head and she could see him fighting the urge to bow. She used to think it was cute that his foreign customs were so ingrained, but now she just felt a pang at seeing him act so formal with her. "I have to make a call now," he excused himself and went back to the phone, soon speaking more of those incomprehensible words to someone she was sure had to be involved in the plot.

What had she done?

* * *

Kenshin took a deep breath as he dialed; Kogoro had demanded this report, and that meant what Kenshin was about to say would have a direct impact on the unit's plans. He didn't like to think about what the consequences would be, because they couldn't be good no matter what he reported.

"Well?" Kogoro answered the phone curtly, apparently already aware of who was calling.

"I don't think she knows much," Kenshin began. "She told me what they knew in the way of personal information, but didn't mention what I'm accused of. I… think she was trying to help," he ventured, still not at all understanding why she would do such a thing, but there it was. She hadn't accused him of anything or really told him the story at all. She had spoken as if her objective was to communicate how much _they_ knew rather than how much _she_ knew. Too bad that information wasn't really helpful, since Kogoro had seen the report and already knew what _they_ had said. Now that he thought of it, Kenshin wondered if she'd calculated that way to avoid telling how much of it she personally had seen, but dismissed the thought. Not everyone was a spy or an assassin, he reminded himself. Not everyone had an ulterior motive, an agenda. She was a civilian, after all.

"Trying to help? Just how close are you two?" Kogoro was incredulous, understandably. Why _would_ she try to help someone who, to the best of her knowledge, was simply a serial killer cover up his crimes? And more to the point, how to answer Kogoro's question?

"Not terribly… I haven't told her anything, and surely the news report didn't paint us well enough to win her to our cause… I don't know why she acted that way. Maybe I misinterpreted her," he offered, but he knew that wasn't the case. He could read her aura, after all. She hadn't been playing any games.

"Really," Kogoro answered, and then seemed to move on. "Get together your most essential items; I'm sending a car for the two of you in twenty minutes. Get everything you want to keep; you won't be going back."

* * *

"I don't think she knows much," Kenshin began and Kogoro sighed silently with relief. "She told me what they knew in the way of personal information, but didn't mention what I'm accused of. I… think she was trying to help."

"Trying to help?" Kogoro was shocked, but tried to understand and came up with only one explanation. "Just how close are you two?" He asked.

"Not terribly… I haven't told her anything, and surely the news report didn't paint us well enough to win her to our cause… I don't know why she acted that way. Maybe I misinterpreted her," Kenshin tried to explain, but Kogoro knew it was nothing of the kind. Firstly, he knew from experience that Kenshin could read _him_ like a book, and the odds of that girl being able to mask her ki from him were not good. Secondly, he didn't think she'd been won to "their cause" at all.

"Really," he answered, thinking on it, and came to a quick decision. "Get together your most essential items; I'm sending a car for the two of you in twenty minutes. Get everything you want to keep; you won't be going back." He hated to risk associating even more members of the unit and their resources with Himura in the minds of a public that knew him as a killer, but it couldn't be helped. Whoever had supplied the news outlets with Himura's address, passport, and myriad other personal data probably had his license plate number as well.

"Her too?" Himura asked with some surprise. Kogoro raised his eyebrows; he hadn't thought it was possible to surprise Himura anymore.

"Her too," he repeated in answer.

"She doesn't have any hostility toward us," Kenshin argued, "I read her ki. She won't talk."

"She's a witness, Himura-kun," Kogoro stated with his fullest authoritative tone, even abandoning the customary use of given names between them, "and I'm ordering you to take her with you, unless you'd rather kill her." He hung up without even waiting for a response; he was banking everything on his theory about the girl's sudden helpfulness and what that might mean for Himura.

* * *

"Unless you'd rather kill her." The line went dead once again, and Kenshin tried to absorb everything that had happened as the dial tone droned unnoticed. He was started out of his thoughts by the sound of the door closing, and he looked up to find Tomoe standing there. He hadn't seen, heard or sensed her leaving, he'd been that focused on Kogoro's words.

"I… needed air," she replied, and he understood that she'd probably also needed a moment away from him to think through what she knew of the situation.

"Listen, Tomoe-san," he began uneasily, not knowing how to tell her what Kogoro had said. "I need you to get everything of yours that's here. We're going somewhere, and we won't be coming back."

"Where?" She asked. She didn't seem indignant that he hadn't asked her along, but rather commanded her. She just seemed to want to know.

"I don't know," he answered truthfully. "My superior just ordered me to take you with me when someone else from my unit comes to get us. I'm sorry, but I can't just let you go. You'll have to come with us." He tried to sound gentle as he informed her that she was essentially a prisoner, but it sounded pathetic even to his ears. He dreaded the idea of her resisting, because in that case he'd have to force her, something he _really_ didn't want to do.

"Okay," she answered, resigned and serious, and went to the bedroom where her things were. Kenshin almost sighed with relief, suddenly thankful for the incomprehensible desire Tomoe still seemed to have to stay with him instead of going back to her life. Holding a gun to Tomoe's head for any reason was one thought he wasn't sure he could handle. He set about gathering his own most necessary items, finished in only a minute or so, and then went to the computer. He wasn't a technology expert, but he knew simply deleting the files wouldn't be enough. What else could he do, short of physically destroying the computer? Throwing it out the widow or shooting at it would attract a lot of attention that needed to be focused elsewhere while they got away. Still, dismembering it quietly would take time he didn't have. Maybe Kogoro was planning to send someone after he was gone to take care of it, but he couldn't be sure. He would just have to warn whoever came to get him and Tomoe.

Tomoe came out of the bedroom carrying her shopping bag from the day she'd told him about her father and they'd eaten soup on his bed. It didn't even look completely full. Neither of them said anything as they waited somberly for the car to arrive, and when they heard a knock on the apartment door, they were ready. It was a woman Kenshin recognized from training, but hadn't seen since his arrival in America and couldn't name. They followed her out to an unfamiliar vehicle and, but for a short warning about the computer, no one spoke as Kenshin and Tomoe were transported to a place that scared both of them, but for completely different reasons.


	20. Chapter 19

**A/N:** I regret to inform you that THIS IS THE LAST BIT, at least for a long while. I have become so uninterested in RK that I just cannot write it anymore. Sorry, Skenshngumi, I thought since I was just going to post what I had of this chapter and be done with it, it would be kind of pointless to have it betaed. TTFN

**Only Time**

**Part 2**

**Chapter 19**

**by the sacred night, beta: Skenshingumi**

"Look, I don't like it either, but it has to be done."

"But… it can't be that much of a liability. No one will see anyway."

"Someone could see."

"I don't understand why you care."

"I was dragged out here to the middle of nowhere so you could stay out of jail, and I'm not about to let both of us end up there."

He was silent after that.

"So are you going to let me or what?"

Still silence.

"All right, do what you want," Tomoe relented, holding up her hands in a gesture of surrender, one of them still containing the scissors. She walked away to put them back in the drawer where she'd found them, and unexpectedly heard his voice from behind her. She stopped and turned to listen, putting the hand with the scissors down on the counter next to her.

"I agree I should change something, but… just not that," he replied, fingering the end of the topknot that was a fixture of his appearance. It was precisely because it was a fixture of his appearance- his recently publicized appearance- that Tomoe maintained it had to go, but he'd gone sentimental on her and insisted on keeping it.

"No, you're probably right, no one will see anyway. We've got everything we need here, we can probably get by without going outside," she rationalized, but winced at the thought of weeks indoors. She'd spent a lot of time indoors lately, but there had always been the option. Now, the little house set far back from the road seemed like a prison. She curled her fingers a little tighter through the metal loops of the scissors. They were long and sharp, gleaming bare metal. They looked like a weapon in themselves.

"Unless something happens. An emergency."

"Yeah, I guess so. So what are you going to change?" Her hand was starting to fall asleep from the way she was leaning on it with the metal biting into her palm and fingers.

"I don't know, what else is noticeable about me?" He asked, looking her full in the face and waiting for her assessment. There were a number of noticeable things she could have catalogued for him, but 'nice skin' wasn't exactly likely to show up in a police report.

"The only thing that's as noticeable as your hair is your height, and I suspect you'd have already done something about that if you could," she remarked, unable to stay entirely serious. He surpassed her in that respect, and waited patiently for her actual answer.

"Well, there's your eyes, but I don't really see how you could change them."

"Anything else?"

"Not really anything you could describe to the police," she answered, "you can't change the shape of your face or anything like that, but I guess you could try to put on weight if you think it'd help."

"Nothing?" He asked unhappily. She shrugged, not knowing what else to say, and he sighed. "Fine, give me the scissors. I'll do it."

"You don't have to if…" she stopped speaking and moving at the same instant. Her left hand, thoroughly asleep and sweaty by now, had failed to keep a grip on the daggerlike scissors. This might not have been a problem if Kenshin had been looking instead of prying the tightly wrapped band out of his hair, but as it was, his face had been scrunched with minor pain and his eyes tightly shut. She shrieked as they connected, missing his eye by an inch, although it might've been less if her shout hadn't made him jump a little.

He'd managed to catch the scissors as they fell, although that gesture was useless since they'd already caused more harm than they would just by falling to the carpet. He pressed his other hand to the wound, not as concerned for it as he was with the idea of his DNA ending up marking the house; he didn't really want to have to think back on this from jail and realize he'd been brought down by a carpet stain. He got up and headed to the bathroom to clean it up, Tomoe following, cursing, inquiring, and generally hovering.

Once they reached the bathroom, she wasn't content to let him clean it himself, but pulled his hand away from his face, admonishing him to let her see and then wincing afresh when she saw. Surely it wasn't that disgusting; he didn't think he was bleeding very much.

Amid grimaces, hissed inquiries if her touch hurt, tender commands to turn his head this way or that, and a flood of apologies, the cut on his face was haltingly bandaged.

"There, is that better?" She asked, still wearing the pained expression that had not left her face since the scream. She pulled her hands away and waited for him to nod before relaxing a little. He didn't quite know what to make of the tension around her; nothing worthy of much note had happened as far as he was concerned.

"That solves that problem," he commented, and Tomoe's face changed from strained to confused. "Something's different now. That's all I needed."

His words seemed to have had the desired effect, since she laughed a little bit and relaxed a lot more. That was good; she shouldn't have worried so much for him, and it was better to get her mind off of it. He followed her back out to the living room and decided never to point out that a scar would only attract more attention to his still-distinctive face.

The next days passed slowly. There was little to do, since their whole objective for the time being was simply not to be seen. Kenshin didn't even get assignments anymore. Now he knew what Tomoe must have felt like during her time in the apartment, although she could have gone back to her life at any time then. Now there was no going back for either of them.

They ate a lot of sandwiches and off-brand cereal, since the cabinets were filled primarily with cheap foodstuffs and the occasional dish. Neither of them had thought to bring so much as a book, since boredom had been the furthest thing from their minds when they were being hurried out of the apartment. Mercifully, there was a computer, since now that was the only way the unit could communicate with Kenshin without risking having one of their operatives seen delivering letters or worse, speaking to him directly. Still, only one of them could use it at a time, and even the internet got old after a few days of nothing else.

As a result, they had more conversations like the one they were currently having to alleviate their ennui.

"If you were a crayon, what color would you be?"

This wasn't even the silliest question that had been voiced between them.

"Forget that question, the answer is obvious. Favorite sport?"

He thought for a moment. "Is martial arts a sport?"

She thought for a minute too, and then nodded. "I guess I'd count it. What kind do you do?"

"As far as I know, the style is unique to my particular teacher. He trained me in most kinds of archaic and modern weapons as well as hand to hand combat," he explained.

"Cool," she replied. He still didn't really understand that word; it seemed to mean vastly different things based on the context in which it appeared. She moved on quickly, glossing over any readable comment. "Any siblings?"

"One sister and twin brothers," he answered. He hadn't thought about them in awhile, and it occurred to him that he probably wouldn't be getting any letters while in hiding.

"Ages?"

"My sister is fourteen and the twins are eight," he answered, a little embarrassed that he had to do the math in his head.

"Aww," she cooed, "They still in Japan?" He just nodded, and the questions ceased for the moment when she got up and went to the kitchen. "I bet you're looking forward to seeing them again when you go back home," she continued as she made herself a sandwich.

"Yeah," he replied, although he found it hard to imagine ever seeing them again. He wasn't sure why, since logically, he would see them when he returned, but the image didn't fit right in his mind somehow.

"You're really lucky," she said, kind of staring into space. He didn't reply; of all the things he might consider himself, lucky wasn't at the top of the list at the moment.

* * *

Kogoro's heavy steps were the only sound in the silence of the first-floor apartment where Ikumatsu watched him pace. "Come sit _down_," she urged him, "worrying like that won't make him or you any safer." She patted the seat next to her on the couch to punctuate her words, but he just shook his head and kept wearing a path in the floor. She understood; she worried for the young couple, too… if they were even a couple. No one really knew what to make of Himura's decision to let this woman live with him when none of them knew who she was or if they'd had a prior relationship. Still, Kogoro wasn't likely to figure it out by giving himself an ulcer. 

"There's got to be a better way to hide them, or throw the police off the trail," Kogoro mused. "There has to be."

He hadn't stopped acting like this since the day before, when the police had come to investigate the apartment Himura had just vacated. There had been an awful three days of waiting, after rushing Himura and the girl whose name no one knew out of there and not knowing if they were being pursued, if they had been seen, if the move had been anticipated… and then the police had come to their doorstep.

_First, she had seen them through the windows and heard them pass by right outside the door. Kogoro had come in from the other room, and needed only a grave look from her to tell him who it was. They hadn't knocked or tried to enter anywhere else, just gone straight up to the empty apartment without a word to anyone. No one knew exactly what had happened, but they did know they had all done their best to see that no evidence was in that apartment. All there had been to do for the moment was to wait and hope their efforts had been enough._

_Then, there had been more noise. The police were out of the empty apartment, now knocking on everyone's doors and asking for any information that might be of help, assured of the shaken citizens' cooperation. Their door had been next._

_Kogoro had answered and spoken with them, knowing better than to send them away saying he knew nothing. They would know he was lying. He hadn't been too overtly upset, or not in ways that were obvious to the officers. Ikumatsu had seen the tension in his shoulders and heard the idiosyncrasies in his voice that told her this weighed on him, as she'd listened to him telling the officers that he'd been acquainted with Himura and been up to the apartment for coffee once or twice, but hadn't known the boy well. He had paced and paced afterward, not coming to bed until long after he thought she was asleep._

Now it was the same. He wouldn't let her rub away the knots or listen to her soothing words, or believe that she understood the gravity of the situation. He paced, he worried, he went over procedures again and again in his mind, trying to find the undetected flaws in their methods, and his efforts had been and would be fruitless.


End file.
